for those who didn't read (and those who read) When I Don't Desire God

I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted after all those EQUIP book club posts! My copy of When I Don't Desire God is looking very dog-eared, not to mention thoroughly scribbled in.

What a month it's been! While I've been writing about prayer and the Bible and rest and walking in God's world, these are exactly the things I haven't had much time for! It's a relief to get back to my normal routine. You can probably expect a quiet week on this blog.

In the meantime, if you'd like to learn more about joy, or keeping the cross central, or engaging with the Bible, or prayer, or enjoying God's world, or depression, you don't need to read When I Don't Desire God: many of the posts stand alone. Here's some quick links for you to follow.

an overview

does God really want me to feel joyful?

when I don't desire God

why joy is both a gift and a fight

keeping the cross central

4 weapons for the fight for joy

1. preaching the gospel to ourselves

2. reading, reflecting on and remembering the Bible

3. prayer

4. enjoying God's world and keeping our bodies fit for joy

depression

my story of joy

I hope you'll join me in the fight for joy!

my story of joy

There was a time when joy came to me as easily as falling in love. I was 15, and for the first time the wonder of God in Christ opened before me. I read the Bible like someone thirsty gulping down water. I escaped to my room to pray. I closed my eyes, and slipped into joy like a second skin.

There was a time when joy was lost to me with the suddenness of unexpected grief. I was 17, and praying felt like staring into darkness. The Bible seemed to be only dry and dusty paper. Having lost joy, I pursued emotional "experiences" instead, but they were as fleeting and meaningless as an empty look from an old boyfriend. ...

Read the rest at EQUIP book club today.

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depression and the fight for joy

There have been times when I woke to series of days filled with dreary dullness. Every movement had to be forced against a resisting heaviness. Joy in God was like something seen through the small end of a telescope: impossibly remote and endlessly receding.

I say this knowing that my experience is a tiny, salty drop in the ocean of what you may have experienced. If depression ranges from mild to severe - or "situational" to "clinical" - then I have only been at the very mild end of the spectrum. I have friends who have been in and out of hospital fighting relentless darkness for many years, and other friends for whom anxiety is debilitating and depression a horror which visits and leaves without warning.

Piper is too experienced a pastor not to know about such times. And so he writes this final chapter. So relevant is its message that it's been printed as a separate booklet, When the Darkness Will not Lift.

What does God have to do with depression? ...

You can read the rest at EQUIP book club today.

image is from Megyarsh at flickr

using the world and our bodies to fight for joy

We're bodily creatures. When we don't get enough sleep, we feel irritable. When we hear music, we're moved to tears or joy. ... Even if we don't admit it, we all use physical means to affect how we feel. So how do we avoid emotional manipulation and idolising created things, while using the world and our bodies in the fight for joy? ...

It's a little ironic, but as I sit hunched over the computer, neglecting a certain amount of exercise and rest to write these posts, it's these words which come to mind:

To sit long in one posture, poring over a book ... is itself a taxing of nature; but add to this a badly ventilated room, a body which has long been without muscular exercise, and a heart burdened with many cares, and we have all the elements for preparing a seething cauldron of despair . . . He who forgets the humming of the bees among the heather, the cooing of the wood-pigeons in the forest, the song of birds in the woods, the rippling of rills among the rushes, and the sighing of the wind among the pines, needs not wonder if his heart forgets to sing and his soul grows heavy. A day’s breathing of fresh air upon the hills, or a few hours’ ramble in the beech woods’ umbrageous calm, would sweep the cobwebs out of the brain of scores of our toiling ministers who are now but half alive. (quote from C Spurgeon on p.204 extended)

How important this has been in my own fight for joy! As I walk through God's world and think and pray, I practise both of Piper's means for using the world in the fight for joy: I see God's glory revealed in the things around me, and I help my body to become a partner in the fight for joy through rest, exercise and the refreshing beauty of God's good world.

You can read the rest at EQUIP books today - just click here.

image is from saturn at flickr

praying for joy

How do you feel about prayer? Do you enjoy it (this miraculous opportunity to talk to your heavenly Father!) or do you find it hard (staring into space, speaking into silence)? Do the words "prayer" and "joy" go together?

What are your temptations when it comes to prayer? Here are mine:
- I'm tempted to treat prayer as a time to work myself into a state of trust and joy, instead of asking God
- I'm tempted to be lazy about the bread-and-butter of prayer: intercession for my family, community and world
- I'm tempted to pour my heart out to others and not to God
- I'm tempted to get it all together before I pray

One thing I'm learning is to come to God as I am. Not to put it off until I haven't been quite so sinful. Not to avoid God because I've been avoiding him recently and I feel guilty. Not to wait until my thoughts and emotions are together enough to frame a clear request. To come to God confused, unhappy, doubting or angry. To come to God with the guilt and the mistakes and the pain and the questions. To come to God because of his grace, not my goodness. To come to God messy.

Until I do this, I deprive myself of a great weapon in the fight for joy. Joy becomes something I achieve (or don't achieve!) through my Bible reading, my sought-out encouragement, my biblical counselling techniques. Joy shifts sideways into smaller goals: a happy family, an organised life, a friendship. Joy turns into something I try to feel before I pray. Instead of going to God, crying out my emptiness to him, and seeking his fullness, I fill myself with the fruit of my own efforts.

Which is pretty stupid. Try as I might, I can't fill myself with joy. I can't make myself desire God: only God can do that.

How then do we fight for joy when our desires languish... ? ... The key to joy in God is God's omnipotent, transforming grace ... [T]he great purpose of prayer is to ask that - in and through all his gifts - God would be our joy. (p.138)

So how do we pray? What will keep us real and keep us praying? ...

You can read the rest at EQUIP book club - just click here.

image is from stock.xchng

the Bible and joy

I love the Bible. It's the honey on my tongue and the fire in my belly and the sword in my hand and the joy in my step.

I love reading it on those dull days when I'd rather pick up a novel, and watching it works its magic in spite of me. I love memorising passages, and seeing God's Spirit bring them to mind exactly when they're needed. I love nutting out difficult verses, and realising they're nutting out me.

Of course, there are mornings when the newspaper wins the reading contest. There are days - sometimes months! - that pass by without much Bible. There are plenty of moments when the words drift through my eyes and spiral straight out the top of my head. There are times when the words on the page don't touch the way I'm feeling.

But God's Word changes me even when I'm not noticing. It nourishes me even when I don't feel it. It gives me what I need even when I'm hoping for something else. It helps me see the glory of Christ and transforms me by the seeing until he is, at last, my highest joy:

God has chosen in this age to reveal himself to the world mainly through the incarnate Word, Jesus Christ, by means of the written Word, the Bible ... It may take the Word of God to show us what we really need, and then to give us the power to get it. In the end what we really need is Christ. (pp.96, 100)

So how do we read the Bible? How do we keep reading the Bible? The best advice I've ever received is Piper's: plan how, plan when, plan where. If this sounds like legalism to you, Piper's The joy of duty will set you right - and The Quiet Time Performance will remind you to stay in God's grace. Use Jennie Baddeley's practical theology for women to assess how your Bible reading is going. ...

Here's some ideas for engaging with the Bible. ...

You can read the rest at EQUIP book club today - just click here.

image is from Tigerlily at flickr

preach the gospel to yourself

I think you'll really enjoy EQUIP books this week. Today's post is about how to remember the gospel, on Wednesday I'll write about the Bible, and on Friday I'll talk about prayer. There'll be lots of practical ideas, and links to what other people have written, in a kind of extended online meandering. Here's how today's post begins (click here to read the whole post).

Preach the gospel to yourself. Ever since I was first encouraged to do this, it's become one of my most important weapons in the fight for joy.

Preach the gospel to yourself. Women especially need to heed this call. We hear a talk on biblical womanhood, and are burdened by a hundred ways we need to change. We're self-aware, and emotionally and relationally aware, so we're often very sensitive to our faults and weaknesses. We need to be reminded, over and over, that God's love doesn't depend on what we do, that change is motivated and enabled by grace, and that obedience isn't about rules but love. We need to keep returning to the cross.

Preach the gospel to yourself. This is the first and central strategy in the fight for joy. Any helpful spiritual practice is really just a way to make this happen.

Hearing the word of the cross, and preaching it to ourselves, is the central strategy for sinners in the fight for joy. Nothing works without this. Here is where we start. And here is where we stay. We never outgrow the gospel. Here we see the glory of Christ more clearly than anywhere. ... And here in the cross is where every enemy of joy is overcome. ... What could stop our joy if we really believed this truth: Everything we need to be satisfied in God, the cross has made certain. It cannot fail. (pp.91-92)

... How do you preach the gospel to yourself? Tell us about it in the comments! Here's my ideas ...

You can read the rest at EQUIP book club - just click here.

image is by abcdz2000 at flickr

weapons for the fight

If you were asked to list the "spiritual disciplines" which help you fight for joy, what would be on your list? Stop for a minute and think about it. ...

How does your list compare with Piper's? Here are the "means of grace" he encourages us to use in the fight for joy:

1. the gospel - hearing it preached, preaching it to ourselves
2. the Bible - reading, memorising, musing, sharing it with others
3. prayer - when, how, where, praying the word
4. the world - creation and our bodies ...

Piper's chapters on the "means of grace" are pure gold. They're rooted in the Bible and historical evangelical piety, and they're so practical and helpful that I follow Piper's advice every day. ...

You can read the rest at EQUIP book club - just click here.

image is from stock.xchng

keeping the cross central in the fight for joy

Every year I rediscover the gospel. Every year it sweeps over me again like a breaking wave. Every time it's startling, as if I've discovered it for the first time, so that I wonder if I could possibly have understood it before.

I hoard the memories like treasures cast up by the waves. A talk on Gethsemane which left me in tears. A mind-bending book on the theology of the cross. A realisation, late one night, that I'm free from the iron bands of legalism, loved by God and free to live in love.

What are your memories? What were the moments when the cross and resurrection of Christ impacted you?

There can be no joy without the cross. As Piper says, without it any happiness is self-deluded, small and shrunken, dancing before the Titanic crashes. With it, all obstacles to joy are removed and all joys are made possible. ...

We're about to launch into the wonderful chapters where Piper unveils the practical strategies we can use in the fight for joy. But he's made it clear: these strategies are worth nothing if they don't direct our eyes to the glory of God in Christ.

All strategies in the fight for joy are directly or indirectly strategies to see Christ more fully. ... This is the most foundational strategy in the battle for joy - the strategic battle to see. In all the strategies commended in this book for how to fight for joy, this is always the aim of each. Directly or indirectly every strategy is a strategy to behold the glory of Christ and become enthralled with his beauty above all. (pp.60, 66-67)

You can read the rest at EQUIP book club - just click here.

image is from stock.xchng

turning on joy

It would be nice if you could turn on joy with the flick of a switch, wouldn't it? Imagine waking in the morning, feeling discouraged, and deciding to rejoice in God. Bing! The light goes on and so does joy.

We all know it's not that simple. We can fight tooth and nail for joy, and it can still be beyond us. That's because joy is God's gift. But how do you fight for something which is a gift? ...

My favourite quote in John Piper's When I Don't Desire God, which has comforted me innumerable times, and reminded me to wait for God and keep fighting when joy seems a million miles away, is this:

We are like farmers. They plow the field and plant the seed and cut away weeds and scare away crows, but they do not make the crop grow. God does. He sends rain and sunshine and brings to maturity the hidden life of the seed. ... We must learn to wait for the Lord. ... In obedience to God's Word we should fight to walk in the paths where he has promised his blessings. But when and how they come is God's to decide, not ours. If they delay, we trust the wisdom of our Father's timing, and we wait. In this way joy remains a gift, while we work patiently in the field of obedience and fight against the weeds and the crows and the rodents. Here is where joy will come. Here is where Christ will reveal himself (Jn 14:21). But that revelation and that joy will come when and how Christ chooses. It is a gift. (pp.42-43) ...

Knowing this has helped me a lot over the years. I try to be disciplined in the fight for joy: to battle my emotions, to read God's word and pray, to spend time with his people, to walk in his good world. But when joy proves elusive - as it often does! - I've learned to wait. I cry out to God, I pray, and I wait for God to restore joy (Ps 51:20) in his own timing and in his own way. This isn't easy, but it reminds me that God is sovereign and trustworthy: he knows what is best for me.

This is a slightly edited excerpt from today's post at EQUIP book club - to read the rest, click here.

image is from Jaako at flickr

desire, delight, and when I don't

As I write this, rejoicing in God is the last thing on my mind. I'm exhausted. I didn't get much sleep. I've got a Bible study to write - and this post. So far this morning, I've dealt with no less than three emotional meltdowns. My fourth child was running and jumping around the house, noisily annoying anyone within reach.

Chapter 2 is an odd little chapter. Piper seems to go to a lot of effort to explain that desire and delight are two sides of the same coin (the man does love defining his terms!). His illustration about sex makes a lot of sense to me:

Who could draw a line between the power of sexual desire and sexual pleasure? The desire is part of the satisfaction. We speak of climax not because that is the only pleasure, but precisely because it is not the only pleasure. All the desires leading to it and following after it are part of the one big pleasure. (p. 26)

He's right: desire and delight overlap and merge into one another. But I'm not sure why he's bothering to make this point.

That's until I realise that it has important implications for days like today, when I don't feel delight in God. In fact, if I'm honest, I don't feel desire either - not today! But I'm immensely comforted by Piper's words: ...

You can read the rest at EQUIP book club today - just click here.

does God want duty or delight?

It's time for another question. I'll give you a few minutes to think about this one (actually, you can take all day if you like) since it's not easy or obvious. Here's my question.

When is God most glorified?
a) when we obey him when we don't feel like it
b) when we obey him with joy

Be honest! You might like to share your answer in the comments. Perhaps, like my small group, you said "both" - and maybe there's some truth in that, as we'll see. ...

You can read the rest at EQUIP book club today - just click here.

spiritual disciplines and When I Don't Desire God

One thing I haven't told you yet about John Piper's When I Don't Desire God is that it's the best book on the "spiritual disciplines" I've ever read - and I read a number earlier this year for a seminar I was preparing! Today I talk about that and about the month ahead on EQUIP book club.

Today I want to give you a bird's eye view of John Piper's When I Don't Desire God. This isn't a book you want to just launch yourself into! It helps - it would have helped me, anyway! - to have a feel for what lies ahead.

The first third of the book tells us why we need to fight for joy. It talks about how joy glorifies God, how devastating it is to know that God should be our highest joy when he's not, what the difference is between desire and delight, and how joy is both a gift and a fight.

The rest of the book tells us how to fight for joy. You'll find here the best chapters on the "spiritual disciplines" (Piper calls them "means of grace") I've ever read - and I've read a few! ...

Here's the plan: ...

You can read the rest at EQUIP book club today - just click here.

hear ye! hear ye! the When I Don't Desire God series is about to commence!

I'm going to ask you a question. When I ask it, close your eyes and see what pops into your head. Are you ready? Here's my question:

What brings you joy?

What did you think of? Was it a relationship, a walk along the beach, or a favourite hobby? When I asked the women in my Bible study this question, the answers were as varied as "words", "God's creation", "watching my daughter learn something new". You might like to share your responses in the comments.

My guess is that most of us long to feel this same kind of joy in God. We know we should rejoice in God, but we're not sure how that feels, or how to go about it. Which is where John Piper comes in. When I Don't Desire God: How to Fight for Joy doesn't just tell us that joy in God is good, it tells us how to fight for joy, and gives us weapons for the fight. ...

There's still time: why not grab a copy of When I Don't Desire God and read along with us during November as we learn how to fight for joy.

You can read the rest of this post at EQUIP book club today. If you click on the book cover in the right hand column of EQUIP book club, you can order a copy of When I Don't Desire God; or Koorong has plenty of copies at most of its stores, including the Melbourne ones.

John Piper When I Don't Desire God

I go to Piper for his breathtakingly enormous view of God and the gospel, his encouragement to a passionate and joy-filled Christian life, and because I think his strengths are often our weaknesses in Australian reformed evangelicalism.*

Here's a book which meets me right where I'm at.

I don't know about you, but I'm all too familiar with days - with months! - when the whole world feels flat and dreary. I know what it is to wake up so exhausted that praying and reading the Bible is the last thing on my "preferred things to do" list. I often feel anxious. I feel irritable. I feel like God is in a galaxy far, far away.

During November, I'll be reading and writing through a book written for times like these: John Piper's When I Don't Desire God: How to Fight for Joy. I've read and dipped into a lot of Piper books, but this is one of my favourites (the other, if you're curious, is The Pleasures of God).

I especially love the second half of When I Don't Desire God. Here, Piper tells us how to turn to the cross when guilt won't go away (something I really struggle with!), gives some wonderful practical suggestions for praying and reading the Bible, addresses the mind-bending topic of how to use creation and our bodies in the fight for joy (my favourite chapter), and (most significantly for many!) talks about the issue of depression.

So why not grab a copy of John Piper's When I Don't Desire God and read it with me when I write on it for EQUIP book club this November? As usual, I'm hoping you'll enjoy my posts even if you don't read the book, but it will be lots more fun if we read it together!

* Or so I said in a comment on this post.

The end of our journey through Pilgrim's Progress

If you ever visit the Australian National Gallery of Victoria at Federation Square in Melbourne, look for the painting Bunyan in Prison by George Follingsby. It's not always on display, but I know I'll be hunting for it next time I'm there. It's ironic that one of the most compelling pictures of the great English preacher John Bunyan is here in Melbourne, Australia, near the Yarra River and behind the crazy-crackled modern facade of Federation Square: but there it is! ...

Read the rest at EQUIP book club today.

Discussing Pilgrim's Progress in small groups

A few weeks ago, one of our pastors discovered I'm writing on Pilgrim's Progress. With a gleam in his eye, he pulled out a heavy spiral-bound A4 volume, and placed it in my hands. I found myself holding the most readable and accurate modern English translation of Pilgrim's Progress Part I I've come across, by John Musselman of The Jackson Institute. ...

Read the rest at EQUIP book club today.

Pilgrim's Progress: how to become a giant slayer

In this combat no man can imagine, unless he had seen and heard, as I did, what yelling and hideous roaring Apollyon made all the time of the fight; he spake like a dragon: and on the other side, what sighs and groans burst from Christian’s heart.

Do you think of yourself as a warrior? Have you realised this is exactly what God wants you to be? Every day, God calls you and me to a battle against sin, the world, and Satan. He calls us to fight the good fight, demolish falsehood, take every thought captive, stand our ground, resist the devil, overcome the world, guard ourselves and the gospel, battle our sinful desires, even shed our blood (1 Tim. 6:2; 2 Cor. 10:5; Eph. 6:13; Jam. 4:7; 1 Jn. 5:4-5; Lk. 12:15; 2 Tim. 1:14; Jam. 4:1; Heb. 12:4). Here is his charge: "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be [wo]men of courage; be strong" (1 Cor. 16:3).

There are many battles I fight daily. I battle sinful desires: gossip and bitterness, gluttony and covetousness, anger and complaining, laziness and self-absorption, anxiety and discouragement. I battle the world: magazines which produce dissatisfaction, advertising which tempts to over-spending, TV shows which promote life free from restrictive morals. I battle Satan: his whispered thoughts of temptation, worry, doubt and despair. Sometimes I win a decisive battle, only to have to take up my weapons again. ...

May we ... use well the weapons God has given us:

• remember God is on our side, mightier than the most powerful and numerous enemy
• stand our ground and keep fighting, however long the battle and whatever the cost
• pray (Eph. 6:18) - it's not noticeable, but prayer is essential to every victory in Pilgrim's Progress. The children's versions usually leave it out, so add it back in if you're reading to a child!
• put on our armour - truth, righteousness, readiness, salvation (Eph. 6:10-20)
• carry our shield, answering all Satan's accusations with the death of Christ (Eph. 6:16)
• wield our sword (Eph. 6:17) - read, reflect on, remember, and recall the Bible
• hide the key of promise in our heart - memorise the Bible (Ps. 119:11)
• seek the companionship and encouragement of other Christians
• use the world - exercise, rest, healthy eating, the beauty of creation - to battle discouragement
• when all else fails, pray, trust, keep doing our duty, and wait for the day God will restore his light

With such great weapons at our disposal, let's not give up in the day of battle! Let’s wake each morning, put on our armour, polish our shield, sharpen our sword, and hide the key of promise in our pocket. Let's get ready for the fight, and battle on through the long days and nights, confident that we can overcome through him who gives us strength.

Read the rest at EQUIP book club today.

The opening scenes of Pilgrim's Progress: Conversion and Assurance

As I've delved more deeply into Pilgrim's Progress, I've been fascinated to find that the Puritans had very different views to us about conversion and assurance. This made the opening scenes of Pilgrim's Progress hard for me to understand at first. But the more I read and reflected, the more I realised we have a lot to learn from the Puritans (and they something from us!) at this point. Here's some highlights from my article on conversion and assurance in Pilgrim's Progress today at EQUIP book club:

So I saw in my dream that the man began to run. Now he had not run far from his own door when his wife and children, perceiving it, began to cry after him to return; but the man put his fingers in his ears, and ran on crying, Life! life! eternal life! So he looked not behind him, but fled towards the middle of the plain.

If you're anything like me, the opening scenes of Pilgrim’s Progress left you with lots of questions. When exactly does Christian become, well, Christian? What’s the parchment roll he has to carry to gain entry into heaven? The Slough of Despond sounds like something from Harry Potter, but what’s it all about?

We're confused because we often think of conversion as a simple process, a human decision made in response to an alter call or a Two Ways to Live gospel presentation: “You can be 100% sure of going to heaven! Just pray this prayer!” But for the Puritans, conversion was more like a natural birth than an induction, and the pastor the mid-wife overseeing God's sovereign work in the heart. Conversion was generally a slow process, following certain stages, and it was often necessary to humbly wait on God for his gift of assurance. ...

So what can we learn from Pilgrim's Progress about conversion? We learn that conversion is sometimes simple and quick, and sometimes long and drawn-out: we shouldn’t expect every conversion to follow the same pattern. We learn that every conversion includes conviction for sin, and if modern converts don't experience guilt or fear, this may be because we fail to preach God’s holiness and judgement. We learn that it may take time to gain assurance, and that we will gain it by looking to the cross of Christ. We learn that conversion is God's work, and takes place with his timing and in his way: our job is not to pressure people into the kingdom, but to support God's work in their hearts. ...

Now it's over to you. What was your experience of becoming a Christian? Was conversion a simple process for you, or a long and complex one? Do you identify more with Bunyan, Christian and Hopeful, who had to wait for assurance, or with Christiana, who received assurance immediately? Do you think it's common for people today to experience "conviction of sin"? What is your assurance based on? Have you ever lost it, and why?

Read the rest at EQUIP book club today.

Entering the world of Pilgrim's Progress

Imagine you're about to go on a journey. You're not travelling in the padded seat of an aeroplane, across the globe to a foreign country, but in a time-machine, to another culture in another century. What's more, you're moving across dimensions into a spiritual plane, where everything happens on the level of the human soul.

Opening the first page of Pilgrim's Progress is like entering another world. Not just the mysterious world of a story, with its own characters and landscape, but also the world of another time, when Christians thought and wrote differently from us. It's a fascinating world, but because there might be a bit of culture shock, I'll give you a few hints about entering the world of Pilgrim's Progress: you'll find them here ...

... I'd love to hear from you about how you're finding Pilgrim's Progress so far. If you haven't started reading yet, what are you looking forward to (or not looking forward to!)? If you have started, how have you found the book so far? What are you enjoying about the way it's written? What are you finding difficult? Any questions so far? Add your comments and questions here.

read the rest at EQUIP book club today