in memory of David

Here's a beautiful poem by John Piper which he wrote about his father-in-law after he died. It spoke so clearly to me about my father-in-law David, who died a month ago yesterday. And about the strong trees and shelters each of us, you and me, can become for others if we allow God to shape and grow us. Take the time to read it. You won't regret it.

grieving through the eyes of a 4-year-old

We all grieve in our own way.

One of the most challenging things about this week has been answering Thomas' questions about his Poppa's death.

Our children saw their Poppa's body, peacefully laid out in his own bed. I think this was important to give them closure and help them understand the reality of death: that the real Poppa is no longer on this earth, but that he has gone to heaven to be with Jesus.

Here are some of the comments and questions we have heard from Thomas:

- If I touch Poppa's body, will I go to heaven?
- Why isn't Poppa talking to me?
- When Poppa went to heaven, he left his face behind.
- At the big table there will be an empty seat, because of Poppa.
- Is Poppa everywhere?
- No more Poppas in the world now, Mummy.

And Andrew's comment when he saw the powerpoint about David's life at the funeral?

- Poppa. Poppa!

Then, looking around the church:

- Poppa?

Sunday School - fruit of the Spirit - kindness

Last week's Sunday School lesson, unsurprisingly, wasn't quite as well run as usual! A bit like one of those awkward Bible study discussions where you ask all the wrong questions.*

Yet it was an appropriate week to talk about kindness. For my father-in-law David, who went to be with the Lord 3 days before I taught Sunday School, was one of the kindest people I knew.

Many people have shared their stories of David and Audrey's quiet, gentle, practical loving-kindness: a young man who lived with them after moving from the country, a woman who ate many meals in their house while suffering through churchly disapproval after a marriage breakdown, a student who enjoyed David's cooking during many Christian camps hosted at their bush property.

In the mind-numbing tiredness of grief, I found it difficult to prepare last week's lesson, but I won't quickly forget what I learned about kindness: a simple yet profound quality, which forgets self and cares for the needs of others.

I was frantically trying to decide which Bible story to teach, when I noticed how often the word "kindness" appears in the book of Ruth (2:13, 20; 3:10).

And yes! There it was! The story of Ruth, a humble woman who quietly cared for the needs of her mother-in-law Naomi. The story of Boaz, a faithful man who served his God by leaving the left-over gleanings of his harvest for the poor, and who took pity on Ruth and gave her food and protection.

I made one of those "televisions" where you paste pictures from a story on a scroll, roll it onto two sticks inside a box with one side cut out for a "screen", and turn the sticks to show each scene as you tell the story:

The children, appropriately enough, made pictures, letters and cards for people in need: a sponsor child, a sick brother, and, in the case of my son Ben, a grieving grandmother. He drew himself with his arms around her.

I can think of few better ways to honour David's memory than to offer the gift of kindness this week. But this humble man would have asked you instead to "honour God" by being "kind to the needy" as you imitate the "kindness and love of God our Saviour" in Christ Jesus our Lord (Prov. 14:31; Tit. 3:4).

Kindness: a friendly smile, a hospitable meal, an encouraging word, a visit to someone lonely, a gift for someone in need, a meal cooked for a grieving friend (believe me, they need it!). How many ways can you think of to show kindness this week?

*Ever told a bunch of kids how kind Ruth was to marry Boaz (Ruth 3:10) instead of running after all the younger men? Don't bother!

dying, but not alone

We all grieve in our own way.

This is an excerpt from a Bible talk my husband Steve gave the evening after his father David died. He spoke on 2 Timothy 4:9-22, written by Paul from prison as he faced his own death.

A couple of weeks ago, I remember Steve was a little concerned about writing a talk on this passage, because it's got a lot of "greet so-and-so" and "bring such-and-such" in it!

But in God's perfect timing, it gave Steve a chance to speak of his father's death, and of the comfort we have in Jesus that even in death, we are never alone.

In A.D. 64, under the reign of the emperor Nero, Paul wrote the final words of 2 Timothy, the last surviving words we have from Paul. He writes them knowing his execution is coming very soon. “For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure.” (2 Tim. 4:6)

Of course this wasn’t the first time Paul had been imprisoned, and faced possible execution. But he knew there would be no acquittal this time.

You can tell a lot about someone by what they’re willing to risk for the sake of the gospel. It would have taken a lot of courage to go and visit the apostle Paul in jail. You would automatically come under suspicion yourself.

You see, we can say that we love Jesus. We can even sing of our love for Jesus. But the real test is what we’re prepared to do, and to risk, because of our love for Jesus.

And so it was when it came to the apostle Paul. What better way to show your love for Jesus and the gospel, then to go and risk everything by standing beside him.

At the first stage of Paul’s trial, he hadn’t gotten a lot of support. Everyone deserted him (v16). He may well have wondered, where are those who really love Jesus? Where are those who are going to stand up for the gospel after I’m gone?

But of course he’s not completely alone. For the Lord is with him (v 17).

My dad has been very, very sick. In fact he died last night.

He said to me last week, although he doesn’t fear what lies beyond death, the hardest thing is that it’s an experience you have to go through alone. Then he corrected himself, and said, of course I’m not alone, for Jesus is with me.

That was Paul’s terrible and yet wonderful experience. Because of that, he was able to stand firm. Even when on trial for his life, Paul is far more concerned with the cause of Christ, and the spread of the gospel, than his own survival. The Lord who rescued him, and forgave him, and restored him to favour. The Lord who delivered Paul through trial and trouble, again and again.

One last time he expects deliverance from his Lord. Except this time, it’s not an earthly deliverance. He knows he’s going to die. But deliverance into the eternal and glorious kingdom.

David

Steve's father David went to be with Jesus at 9.30 last night. It is wonderful for him to be with his Lord, but oh, so sad for us!

Lizzy (9) is quietly sad, in her beautifully calm way. Ben (7) has a special sorrow, because he had a wonderful relationship with his Poppa, in the way grandfathers and grandsons sometimes do. Thomas (4) is asking impossible questions. And Andrew (1) is too little to understand.

Please thank God for David's faithful love for God, his loving service for others, and his sure and certain hope of going to heaven. Praise God that he has gone home at last. Please pray for our family as we grieve for him.

Here are some words David quoted from a few days ago:

For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. 2 Timothy 4:6-8

David

If you've wondered why my blog has included some sober reflections on life and death recently, you will understand when I tell you that David, Steve's dad, has just been diagnosed with liver cancer. We heard the news last week when our family stayed at David and Audrey's house.

I found myself looking around their beautiful bush property, reflecting on their lifetime's work. David's handiwork is displayed at every turn: the carefully landscaped gardens, the enormous chook pen, and the "dendradomes" (David's Greek word for tree house) enclosing large numbers of fruitful trees and vines. The house is surrounded by overflowing cottage gardens, the drive is planted with a young avenue of liquid ambers, and there's a productive vegetable garden. A testament to the work of a lifetime, but also a constant reminder that even the loveliest products of earthly labour cannot be taken with us into eternity.

And yet there is a sense in which David and Audrey's work will last forever. For this is not only a place for gardening, making jam, and collecting eggs and fruit, but also a place of ministry. David and Audrey regularly open their home to church and student groups, like they did for our staff team last weekend, feting them with delicious soups and curries. They have a loving ministry to the people in their street, caring for their needs, and sharing their hope in Jesus. They run a weekly Bible study in their home, and every day they pray together for the people in their lives. David has written many sermons in his small study, after a lifetime of preaching, lecturing, and writing books on God's word. And even those eggs, vegetables and jams have formed the basis for many generous gifts and church stall provisions. Faithful service and fruitful ministries which will last into eternity.

For David and Audrey have heeded Jesus' call to store up treasure in heaven rather than on earth (Matt. 6:19-21) and Paul's encouragement to build a ministry of true value that will accompany them into heaven (1 Cor. 3:10-15). Imagine the joy when David hears Jesus' words: "Well done, good and faithful servant" (Matt 25:21).

In the meantime, I admire the brave way that David is facing whatever tomorrow may bring, and the incredible faith and trust he has in God. Like their bush home, which was renewed after the Ash Wednesday fires, David knows that what looks like an end is really a new beginning. Now there's a true and living hope.

Please pray for David and Audrey. Please pray for comfort, faith, and a sure and certain hope, as they face the uncertainties of the next few years.