what I've been reading: what I feel vs what is real from CJ Mahaney's The Cross Centred Life

It's a common theme on this blog: talk to yourself instead of listening to yourself. Here it is again, put beautifully by CJ Mahaney. I was particularly interested in the idea that introspection is a common temptation for evangelicals.

We can either listen to ourselves and our constantly changing feelings about our circumstances, or we can talk to ourselves about the unchanging truth of who God is and what He's accomplished for us at the cross.

Far too often we choose to passively listen to ourselves. We sit back and let our view of God and life be shaped by our constantly shifing feelings about our ever-changing circumstances. ...

Sinclair Ferguson has noted, "The evangelical orientation is inward and subjective. We are far better at looking inward than we are at looking outward. Instead, we need to expend our energies admiring, exploring, expositing, and extolling Jesus Christ." ...

Think about this. How often in a typical day do you take an internal inventory in an effort to evaluate how you're doing? How often do you assess a situation by examining how you feel about it? How often do you make mental reference to how you feel, as opposed to what you know?

Don't listen to yourself; talk to yourself: Begin your day and at numerous points throughout the day expend your energies "admiring, exploring, expositing, and extolling Jesus Christ."

CJ Mahaney The Cross Centered Life 48-51

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another quote about condemnation and the cross

Violet capped yesterday's quote (which I posted on Sunday instead of Monday by accident!) with a wonderful quote of her own.

She says, "Milton Vincent in 'A Gospel Primer for Christians' addressed this issue in a way that really helped me. He writes,

'As long as I am stricken with the guilt of my sins, I will be captive to them, and will often find myself re-committing the very sins about which I feel most guilty. The Devil is well aware of this fact; he knows that if he can keep me tormented by sin's guilt, he can dominate me with sin's power.

'The gospel, however, slays sin at this root point and thereby nullifies sin's power over me. The forgiveness of God, made known to me through the gospel, liberates me from sin's power because it liberates me first from its guilt; and preaching such forgiveness to myself is a practical way of putting the gospel into operation as a nullifier of sin's power in my life.'"

Thanks, Violet! That's so true. When I keep wallowing in the guilt of my sin, I don't change. I'm so overwhelmed by my sin that I give up before I even start. But when I truly realise that I'm forgiven, it changes everything. It gives me motivation and hope to overcome my sin.

I'm reminded me of a similar quote from Tim Chester's You Can Change:

You will cleanse no sin from your life that you have not first recognized as being pardoned through the cross. ... If you don't see your sin as completely pardoned, then your affections, desires and motives will be wrong. You will aim to prove yourself. Your focus will be the consequences of your sin rather than hating the sin itself and desiring God in its place. (p.33)

As I preach the gospel to myself, and come to know in every fibre of my being that I'm forgiven, I stop wallowing in my guilt, and start obeying in the freedom and hope of God's grace.

psalm for the downcast (2)

Last term, when I was immersed in almost constant despondency, I went for a memorable walk. Every step had to be forced against what felt like a resisting invisible barrier. I tried to pray, to think, to get some kind of handle on what I was feeling, but my thoughts were scattered and sluggish.

Into my troubled thoughts broke Psalm 103, plucked from my memory by God's Spirit. I found myself saying it out loud: "Praise the LORD, O my soul ... who forgives all your sins ... who redeems your life from the pit...". My mood was unchanged, but the words fed my tiny spark of faith until it burned a little brighter.

At that moment, I realised how suitable psalms of praise are for the discouraged. I've always encouraged those who are depressed to learn and pray psalms of lament, like Psalm 130. But I've never thought of suggesting psalms of praise. I guess I assumed such psalms would seem flippant, insensitive or irrelevant.

But words - especially God's words! - are powerful things. As you say them out loud, they make their way into your insides. You might not feel like praising God, but it's good to speak words of praise even when you don't feel like it. It's good to exhort your soul to praise God. It's good to encourage others to praise God. As you do, you're helped to stop dwelling on yourself and your emotions and to start looking at God and acting in love.

Psalm 103 packs a punch for the desolate, for it reminds us of 6 truths we often forget and need to preach to our souls when we're tempted to despair:

• God's character is unchanging
  (however I feel)
• God's blessings are unfailing
  (though they may seem to have failed me)
• God's salvation is a historical fact
  (even when I'm tempted to doubt it)
• I am small, frail and finite
  (it's not all about me and how I'm feeling)
• God's compassion and grace are infinite and unending
  (far bigger than this mood)
• God rules sovereignly over all things
  (including my life right now)

Here it is.

Psalm 103

Of David.

Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.

He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children-
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.

The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.

Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.

image is from withrow at flickr

gospel self-talk in simple sentences

What simple sentences do you use to remind yourself of God's truth?

What are the main temptations you struggle with? Do you have a short fuse, jumping all the way from calm to angry outburst in a second? Are you anxious, always struggling with fears and worries? Has bitterness overtaken your heart, driving out joy and contentment? Do you have what Ed Welch calls "a resistant strain of guilt", like a virus, driving out the comfort of God's grace?

I've talked lots on this blog about preaching to yourself. I want to share a way of doing this which I've found helpful recently.

You can preach God's truth to yourself by reading the Bible, memorising Bible passages, recalling Bible verses, listening to Christian music, or listening to talks: there are all kinds of ways of reminding yourself of God's goodness, sovereignty and grace.

But in the heat of the moment, when you're tempted to bitterness, anxiety or despair, these can be too slow and complicated (except maybe the Bible verse recall).

So what I've done is to invent simple sentences, quick summaries of Gods' truth, that I can speak to myself when I feel the familiar pull to doubt God's goodness, or worry about my children, or drown in guilt.

Here's some of my common temptations (I'm sure you have your own!) and the sentences I've come up with to combat them:

• When I've sinned, or made a mistake or a wrong decision, and I'm beating myself over the head with it:
  "I'm already perfect in God's eyes because Jesus died for me."
• When I'm worried about what someone thinks of me:
  "It doesn't matter what they think of me. It only matters what God thinks of me, and he just wants me to be faithful."
• When God hasn't answered one of my prayers - normally a trivial one! - or I'm late for school or something's gone wrong and I wonder if he loves me:
  "God doesn't exist for my convenience."
• When I feel bad and want to make myself feel better by eating:
  "The comfort this brings will soon turn to despair. My true comfort is found in Jesus."
• When I'm worried about the effect my sin has on my children:
  "God uses everything for my children's good and his glory, even my sin."
• When I'm tempted to be proud of something I've achieved:
  "I have nothing that I was not given. May all the glory go to God!"

I know these sentences are very simplistic. Perhaps "simple" would be a better word. For behind each of them lie truths about God which are rich, full and liberating: that God is absolutely sovereign, that he sent his only Son to die for me, that his grace frees me from condemnation, that I don't have to earn his favour, that he is good, and that his glory is all that matters.

What simple sentences do you use to remind yourself of God's truth?

Before the Throne of God Above

One of the ways I preach the gospel to myself is to memorise great hymns and sing them when I'm praying, or when I need to fix my straying thoughts on Jesus.

My favourite hymn at the moment is "Before the Throne of God Above", the version from the CD Songs for the Cross Centered Life. It's about how the risen Jesus stands in heaven and pleads for me - something which has come to mean a great deal to me recently. I'll tell you why tomorrow.

In the meantime, you might want to read or sing these words with me:

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea,
A great High Priest whose name is love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart,
I know that while in heaven He stands,
No tongue can bid me thence depart,
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there,
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free,
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me,
To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there, the risen Lamb,
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of Glory and of Grace.
One with Himself I cannot die,
My soul is purchased by His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high:
With Christ my Savior and my God,
With Christ my Savior and my God.

© 1997 Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP).

You can listen to a short sample here.

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Overcoming Fear, Worry and Anxiety: book review

The book that's encouraged me most deeply recently (apart from the Bible!) is Elyse Fitzpatrick's Overcoming Fear, Worry and Anxiety: Becoming a Woman of Faith and Confidence. I wanted to loan it to a friend, and I had no trouble gobbling it up in a single day.

It's not a long book, and it's very readable. Each chapter begins with stories of women who struggle with anxiety. You're bound to see yourself in some of them! It's comforting to know we're not alone, and to hear how God has helped people to overcome their worry and fear.

Section 1 the nature of fear
Elyse Fitzpatrick starts by talking about the physical nature of fear, and how it can lead to panic attacks. I was challenged when I realised that caffeine, sugar, and insufficient exercise and rest can feed into the vicious cycle of fear. There's a few changes to be made there!

Section 2 the source of your fears
What had the most profound impact on me was realising that there are "three primary causes of fear" (196):

• the desire to control
• the desire to please people
• the desire to be perfect

There they were, in black and white! I'm an expert in all three, so it's no wonder I sometimes struggle with discouragement and anxiety. I bought the book because of the chapter on perfectionism, but I found some of the other chapters even more helpful, particularly the one on people-pleasing.

It's hard to struggle with anxiety, depression, guilt or any difficult emotion over a long period of time: if you're human, I'm sure you know that! It's easy to run from the situation which is causing such pain. It's easy to start questioning whether God really is working in you, or whether you'll be stuck this way forever.

So it was so reassuring to read these words, and to realise that I can trust God to change me, in his own good timing, through the circumstances he's given me:

Think about the trials or difficulties that you are facing. … Is it possible that God has allowed these specific difficulties into your life to teach you of His goodness, of your inability to control events, and to set you free from your fears? … Could He free you from your fears? Yes. Will he free you? Yes, when it pleases Him to do so. In the meantime, He's using your fear to draw you to Himself and to change you. If you didn't struggle with these problems, you wouldn't see your need for Him. You see, God is interested in this change in you because He is going to be glorified because of it, and that's the goal of everything He does: His glory. (60, 133)

Section 3 - God's answers to your fears
Elyse Fitzpatrick's answer to worry, anxiety and fear is to unpack 4 themes in 4 chapters:

• God's sovereignty - God is in control, however hard it is to see this during times of suffering
• the fear of God - the fear of God is big enough to displace all smaller fears
• the opposite of fear: love - as we love others rather than giving in to fear, we overcome anxiety
• God's grace - God's grace sustains us and gives us confidence to change

I found the chapters on the fear of God and love the most helpful. It seems to me that no human fear can possibly stand before the combined power of these two!

Only the fear of God is big enough to drive out all other fears: not a slavish fear, that cringes from God, but a childlike fear, that delights in his awesome majesty and runs to him in love and trust.

We might be scared to leave the house, or sit through church, or talk to a stranger, or lead a Bible study. Only as we dare to trust God and act in obedience, even when our hearts are pounding and we have a tight band of anxiety around our chest, will we overcome our fears.

As we reach out to others in love, even when we're afraid, we'll discover that love is stronger than fear. Our love for others will become greater than our fear of their disapproval and our worry about them loving us.

I found myself praying that my fear of God and my love for others will become bigger than my fears, so that I will love friends who don't know God by joyfully sharing the hope I have in Jesus. I'm also trying to pray for, rather than worry about, those whose opinions and criticisms I fear.

Two days ago, I prayed with some good friends. We talked about how it's a battle - every single day! for all of us! - to let go of our fears and to trust God. Every day, we battle to depend on faith rather than feeling. Every day, we struggle to do the things that are hard for us, trusting God to give us the strength we need. Every day, we fight to believe that God is bigger than our fears, and that he is working in us by his grace according to his perfect timing.

If you struggle with fear, worry or anxiety, I encourage you to read this helpful book.

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Biblical womanhood (4) self-control and your thoughts and emo

I have been reminded recently, once again, of the importance of preaching the gospel to myself every day, as I bring my thoughts and emotions under the blessed control of God's truth.

At the start of this term, my shoulder muscles were stiff with stress, I was wading breathless through a bewildering sea of responsibilities, and when I stopped to think about it, I could feel a tightening band of anxiety around my chest.

I was struggling with feelings of discouragement, worry and guilt. Discouragement over my lack of organisation last term (funny how a couple of forgotten committee meetings and un-run errands can plunge me into despair!). Worry about all the tasks I've committed to this term (Sunday School, Equip books, Sola Panel, a certain series on Biblical womanhood). Guilt about the burden these things place on our family (mostly false guilt, since I was fulfilling my responsibilities to my family, according to my husband, who ought to know).

For several memorable mornings, right at the start of the term, I woke at 6.00 and prayed in the lovely early-morning silence which rests on a house at that hour of the day. I spent a good 20 minutes or so praying through the unhelpful thoughts I was listening to: the guilt, the worry, the discouragement. I battled my unbelieving, doubting, anxious thoughts one-by-one, wrestling them into submission, taking each one captive to God's truth.

I can't begin to tell you the difference it's made! As I meditated on God's character - my Father's loving sovereignty, and how he is in control of all my responsibilities; my Saviour's sacrifice, and how I have been forgiven for all my sinful failings; the Spirit's empowering, and how I do everything in his strength - and as I praised God for his grace, and prayed about my anxieties - a burden was lifted, and my days were permeated with a sense of peace.

I'm swallowed up in busy-ness at the moment, and anxiety is threatening to creep up on me, but I'm finding that the inner assurance of God's sovereign love, which I fought so hard for at the start of this term, still remains with me, holding it at bay.

God won't ask me to do anything he doesn't give the time, energy, strength, and grace to do. He will be patient with me as I struggle with all the sins I'm so painfully aware of, and he will give me the grace to overcome them, slowly but surely. I can take each day as it comes, with its own particular responsibilities, and give myself to them fully and joyfully, rather than allowing the weight of the next 30 days to rest on my shoulders.

I am reminded of Jesus' "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls" (Matt. 11:29).

In his service is perfect freedom.

For more on self-control as it relates to our thoughts and emotions, see chapter 4 of Carolyn Mahaney's Feminine Appeal, and Nicole's helpful discussion of the issues raised at EQUIP book club.

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song for the sorrowing

While we're on the topic of songs for the discouraged, here's a wonderful song for the sorrowing.

I was listening to Furthermore by Jars of Clay yesterday, when "The Valley Song" came on. It struck me that this song is Psalm 42-43 in modern dress: it seems that some still know how to lament, cry out to God, and fight for joy. And it's one of the most beautiful Jars of Clay songs of all time. I only hope I can sing like this in the day of sorrow.

The Valley Song (Sing of Your Mercy)

You have led me to the sadness,
I have carried this pain
on a back bruised, nearly broken:
I'm crying out to You.

I will sing of Your mercy
that leads me through
valleys of sorrow
to rivers of joy.

When death, like a gypsy,
comes to steal what I love,
I will still look to the heavens,
I will still seek your face:
but I fear You aren't listening
because there are no words,
just the stillness,
and the hunger
for a faith that assures.

I will sing of Your mercy
that leads me through
valleys of sorrow
to rivers of joy.

alleluia, alleluia
alleluia, alleluia

While we wait for rescue
with our eyes tightly shut,
face to the ground, using our hands
to cover the fatal cut;
though the pain is an ocean
tossing us around, around, around;
You have calmed greater waters
higher mountains have come down.

I will sing of Your mercy
that leads me through
valleys of sorrow
to rivers of joy.

I will sing of Your mercy
that leads me through
valleys of sorrow
to rivers of joy.

alleluia, alleluia
alleluia, alleluia

songs for the discouraged

Yesterday I was reminded of such a simple thing to do when you're feeling discouraged.

The black dog was sitting on my shoulder all day. It was one of those days all mothers are familiar with, when you feel like you spend all day mooching around the house, listlessly doing chores and responding to children's tantrums, but achieving nothing of any value. I did an hour or so's cleaning, but I also wasted vast acres of time: or that's how it felt.

By school pick-up time I'd lost any impetus I had when the day began. I was sitting, staring into space, close to tears, wondering how anyone - friends, family, God - could possibly love such a useless blot on the face of the earth as me.

While I was cooking dinner, I did something I haven't done for a while: I put on a Christian music CD. It happened to be Valley of Vision, but it could just have well have been Jars of Clay or City on a Hill. And - just like that! - the black dog turned tail and ran away, and my focus shifted from my own glooms and inadequacies, to Jesus' death on the cross for me, and his wonderful, amazing, irresistible grace.

I think I might add that to my list of things to do when you're depressed. Allowing others to preach the gospel to you when you're struggling to preach it to yourself: now there's wisdom.

enjoying God (10) what if I'm depressed?

In the mid 90's, I spent almost 3 years battling ongoing fear, anxiety, confusion, panic and depression, all fueled by this overwhelming and constant sense that life was hopeless. I was tired all the time, but couldn't sleep. Life went from a grey to a dark black. I thought about death for a period of 3 months almost every day, and I had no idea when it would end. Maybe you've never experienced something like what I went through. But all of us have experienced something that can be called depression, or at least feels like depression. We lose our appetite. We can't sleep. We feel tired all the time. We want to sleep all the time. We have constant feelings of guilt. We feel worthless. We think about death. For some, depression is an inconvenience. For others, it is a life-dominating numbness that won't go away.*

Depression is caused by many things: personality, brain chemistry, childhood experiences, Satan's attacks, exhaustion, illness, anxiety. But depression is never just physical or emotional. It impacts us as spiritual beings. It affects our relationship with God, our faith, our ability to seek God. It can destroy our joy.

I've never been severely depressed. I've experienced some periods of despondancy, and post-natal depression, the kind which plunges you into constant drabness and frequent tears, but doesn't require medicine or counselling. I say this so you'll know I'm no expert.

What I say here is from books I've read, talks I've heard, my studies in the Puritans (who excelled in unravelling the physical and spiritual causes of "melancholy"), conversations with friends who suffer from anxiety or depression, or who have supported others who are depressed, and the Bible, especially the Psalms.

We'll talk about three things: strategies for fighting for joy in God when you're depressed; suggestions for supporting others through depression; and resources on depression and the fight for joy. Please add your own suggestions to the comments.

Fighting for joy when you're depressed.
1. Cry out to God, honestly tell him your feelings of abandonment, bewilderment, or anger, and wait patiently for him to restore your joy (Ps. 41:1; 51:12).
2. Remember that God holds onto you even when you can’t hold onto him (Jn. 10:28).
3. Answer Satan’s accusations - for example, that a real Christian wouldn't feel this way - with the gospel.
4. Confess any unrepentant sin, especially unbelieving patterns of thought, like bitterness or despair. These may be present even if the original source of the depression is physical.
5. Talk to yourself, instead of allowing yourself to talk to you. Don't let yourself get away with despairing patterns of thinking. Exhort yourself to hope in God.
6. Replace unhelpful thoughts with helpful ones (Col. 3:2; Phil. 4:8; Heb. 12:3). Memorise the words and promises of God, and speak them to yourself. Think about what God has done, is doing, will do (Psalm 102). Study the Bible or read about God, even when it’s hard work.
7. Praise and thank God verbally even when you don’t feel it.
8. Read, learn and sing psalms and songs which express discouragement (see hymns below, also Psalm 42-3, 88, 102, etc).
9. Grit your teeth and do your tasks, one step at a time: get dressed, wipe the bench, write a paragraph of an essay.
10. Depression can be nature's warning sign of over-work, unhelpful patterns of life, or ungodly thinking patterns. It may be time to stop and prayerfully re-assess these things.
11. Shift your gaze outwards. Pray for others. Share the gospel with others. Serve others at cost to yourself.
12. Try to eat well, and get enough exercise and rest.
13. Get outside into God’s world, breathe some fresh air.
14. Find a Christian friend who will stand by you, and speak the words you can’t speak to yourself. I learnt to call a Christian friend as soon as I was feeling down.
15. If depression is severe, counselling may be helpful to give you practical strategies for dealing with depression, and medication may dull the edges so you can deal with the root issues. See your doctor.

Supporting someone who is depressed
1. Love them. Your love might be the only way they are able to experience God's love right now.
2. Don't give up on them. Persevere even when it's hard, and they don't seem to change.
3. Sit with them. You may not be able to do much, and they may not want to talk, but it is comforting for them to know you are there.
4. Listen. Allow them to express anger, bewilderment, despair, doubt, and sadness, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Don't feel like you have to "fix" everything.
5. Read the Bible to them. Pray with them. Speak God's promises, gospel and words to them, when they can't speak them to themselves.
6. You may need to help them take some of the steps above. For example, don't say "Do you want to go for a walk?", but be gently forceful: "Let's go for a walk together!"
7. Give practical help. As with grief, don't ask "What can I do to help?", just give it: make a meal, clean the house, care for their children.
8. They may not feel able to pick up the phone and call you, even if they need to. Make a regular time to call and visit.
9. Give them structure. A regular weekly visit will help them to keep going until the next one.
10. Set clear boundaries. Don't allow them to become unhelpfully dependent on you. You may need to be available at odd times and in odd places, but you may also need to set limits on times and lengths of conversations.

Resources
Hymns to learn and sing:
Give to the winds thy fears
God moves in a mysterous way
'Twixt gleams of joy and clouds of doubt

For further reading:
John Piper When the Darkness Will Not Lift, which is the last chapter in When I Don't Desire God
Edward Welch Depression: A Stubborn Darkness;
and Blame it on the Brain?;
and his booklet Depression: The Way Up When You Are Down.

Talks to listen to:
Bob Kauflin The Depressed (the quote at the top is from this talk)
John Piper Battling the Unbelief of Despondency;
and Spiritual Depression in the Psalms;
and his biographies of people who suffered from severe depression: Charles Spurgeon, William Cowper, David Brainerd

* Quote is from Bob Kauflin The Depressed. My first 15 suggestions owe much to Piper's 15 suggestions in the fight for joy: How Shall We Fight for Joy. Piper explains and expands on these steps in this talk: How to fight for joy, Session 3. Thank you Heather for many of my second 10 suggestions.

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psalm 42-43 and the fight for joy

As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

You may remember I suggested you read Psalms 42-43 in my post how to fight for joy. If you haven't already, why not read it before you read this, and write your own list of the ways the deeply sorrowing psalmist fights for joy.

Here's the list I came up with:

- he thirsts deeply for God, and doesn't give up seeking him (42:1-2)
- he cries many tears (he doesn't try to deny or escape from his sorrow - 42:3)
- he tells God about his suffering with great honesty (42:1-3, 10)
- he's not afraid to ask God "Why?", without apology (42:9; 43:2)
- he remembers past blessings and God's saving acts (42:4, 6)
- he affirms that the suffering he experiences is from God's hand (42:7)
- he trusts, sings, and prays to God his "Rock" and "Stronghold" (42:8-9; 43:2)
- he asks God for vindication and rescue (43:1-3)
- he looks forward expectantly to God's rescue and the restoration of his joy (43:3-4)
- everything is not all right at the end, but he goes on fighting for joy (43:5)
- he preaches to his soul again and again (Ps. 42:5, 11; 43:5)

The psalmist feels abandoned by God, but he never stops thirsting for God. He tells God exactly how he feels! His anguished question, "Why?", is an expression of faith in God, for he knows that God is sovereign over his suffering, that God has promised and acted to bless his people, and that God can restore his joy. God is still his strength and song.

And even when his prayers remain unanswered, he goes on striving against his despondancy, and pleads with himself to trust in God. Like the psalmist, we will need to do this again and again, as we struggle against anxious, doubting, despairing thoughts, and strive to hope in God, who we can trust to do only good toward us.

Neil Chambers, in his wonderful talk Lamentation: God's Gift, an Expression of Faith, reminds us how much we need Psalms 42-43:

Lament, giving voice to suffering before God, is not popular in contemporary Christian life. Genuine lament is hard. To give voice to suffering, you have to own, as part of yourself, the failure, the loss, the grief. The lament is a prayer of faith from start to finish. I think Christians who cannot, where appropriate, lament, are ill-equipped to live the life of faith in this world.

Can I encourage you to learn this Psalm, for the day of suffering when you need words to cry out to God, and fight for joy. There's a version you can sing here and here.

And here's some excellent sermons on Psalm 42-43. I'd love to encourage you to listen to them all, each one is different, and will give you useful weapons in your fight for joy!

Neil Chambers, on the importance of lament: Lamentation: God's Gift, an Expression of Faith
John Piper, on the psalmist's fight for joy: Spiritual Depression in the Psalms
C.J.Mahaney, on learning to talk to yourself: The Troubled Soul: God's Word and our Feelings
Bob Kauflin, on his experience of depression: The Depressed

images are from stock.xchng

enjoying God (9) how can I fight for joy?

Have you ever thought of joy as a battle?

Joy is not something which slips easily into the heart. In this fallen world, with all its shame, sorrow and suffering, joy is something we must fight for with all our strength.

Many things attack our joy. We can't change these things, but we can change how we respond to them. Here's a list I gathered from Martyn Lloyd-Jones' Spiritual Depression:

- we can't change our personality,
but we must guard against our weaknesses;
- we may wake in a bad mood,
but we don't have to let it dominate us;
- we can't change a tendency to depression,
but we can choose not to give in to despair;
- we should grieve for those who die,
but we shouldn't let grief permanently overwhelm us;
- we may feel the heavy weight of guilt,
but we can remind ourselves of Jesus' death;
- we can't always change our circumstances,
but we can choose how to respond to them;
- we may feel like God is absent,
but we can remember that he is always with us in Christ;
- we can't avoid Satan's whispered temptations,
but we can decide to listen to God instead;
- we can't make ourselves happy,
but we can choose to rejoice in God.

Feelings aren't under our direct control. We can't change how we feel, but we can change what we believe, how we think, and how we act and speak, and these things will shape our emotions. Here's some practical suggestions:

1. Beliefs.
Next time you're angry, jealous, or discouraged, think about the beliefs shaping how you feel. Emotions are often a good guide to our hearts. Perhaps we're doubting God's love, or failing to trust in his goodness. Repent, pray for help, read the Bible, hold to God's promises: these change our beliefs, and shape our feelings.

2. Thoughts.
There's not much point in pushing a thought away, unless we replace it with something better. We're told to "set our minds on things above" (Col. 3:2). I memorise Bible passages, and repeat them when unhelpful thoughts pop into my head: very effective in battling impure, anxious and despairing thoughts.

3. Words and actions.
We may feel angry, but we can speak and act with kindness. We may feel miserable, but we can thank God. We may feel depressed, but we can do the next small task in front of us. It's surprising the effect this can have on our emotions.

4. Body.
We're embodied creatures, and our bodies have a huge impact on how we feel. If we're irritable, miserable, or discouraged, a look at our eating, exercise and sleeping habits during the last few hours or days may tell us why. We may need to make some changes for the sake of our godliness and joy.

I haven't even mentioned one of the most vital and neglected weapon in our battle for joy: preaching to ourselves. We mustn't let ourselves get away with untrue, discouraged thinking. We must learn to speak to ourselves of God's promises, words and salvation, and exhort ourselves to believe and rejoice.

Martyn Lloyd-Jones says this is the key to battling discouragement: "We must talk to ourselves instead of allowing ‘ourselves’ to talk to us!"* Read the Psalms, and echo their words: "Praise the LORD, O my soul!" "Why are your downcast, O my soul? Put your hope in God!" "Be at rest, O my soul!" (Ps. 113:1; 42:5; 116:7)

Why don't you pick up your Bible, and read Psalm 42-43? Perhaps you could choose this for your Bible reading tomorrow. Write a list of the ways the Psalmist fights for joy (don't all women love lists?). You'll discover many wonderful ways to fight for joy.

* You'll find the rest of the quote here: Christian self-talk.

images are from stock.xchng

quote of the week: Christian self-talk?

Psychologists now think the solution to depression is not drugs, but changing the way you think. Or so Dorothy Rowe claimed in an article I was reading the other day.

"Instead of constantly criticising, praise and encourage yourself. You'll need to confront the events that occurred just before you became depressed. You blamed yourself and inadvertently created the prison of depression. There is a key to this prison: accepting and valuing yourself, and accepting the natural uncertainty of life."

Self-talk was around a long time before modern psychology. But the content was a little different: honest wrestling with God about one's despair, and arguing oneself into faith. Read Psalm 42. Read the Puritans. Read Martyn Lloyd-Jones.

And learn to speak God's word into your soul:

I say that we must talk to ourselves instead of allowing ‘ourselves’ to talk to us! Do you realize what that means? … Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them but they are talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc. Somebody is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you. Now this man’s treatment [in Psalm 42] was this: instead of allowing this self to talk to him, he starts talking to himself. “Why art thou cast down, O my soul?” he asks. His soul had been depressing him, crushing him. So he stands up and says: “Self, listen for a moment, I will speak to you.” …

The main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself. You have to take yourself in hand, you have to address yourself, preach to yourself, question yourself. You must say to your soul: ‘Why art thou cast down’ – what business have you to be disquieted? You must turn on yourself, upbraid yourself, condemn yourself, exhort yourself, and say to yourself: ‘Hope thou in God’ – instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way. And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and what God is and what God has done, and what God has pledged himself to do. Then having done that, end on this great note: defy yourself, and defy other people, and defy the devil and the whole world, and say with this man: ‘I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance, who is also the health of my countenance and my God.’

The long quote is from Martyn Lloyd-Jones Spiritual Depression pp.20-21. The short quote is from Dorothy Rowe's article in Sunday Life, 29th June 2008; I've taken out some words for readability, but not changed the meaning. The picture is from stock.xchng.