so many things make me sad

Do you often feel sad? Is the glass half empty for you? Are you introspective and reflective? Do you tend to self-pity?

David Powlison has just written a wonderful series of posts called "So many things make me sad". He concludes,

There is an unspeakable sorrow at the heart of the world. All the Bible writers know that. All the great saints know that. All the great novelists and poets have known it. All honest men and women have known it. Only the self-deluded, who pursue their schemes for earthly joy, who expend their lives in climbing ladders to nowhere, fail to recognize the obvious. In the end, all is loss. And, whether the effects are subtle or grotesque, a madness of evil blinds the human heart (Ecclesiastes 9:3).

There is one more thing that needs to be said, and said again. We are surprised by joy, as C. S. Lewis put it. Life wins, gladness wins, hope wins. Death dies, sin disappears, all tears are wiped away...

The mercies of God in Jesus Christ give certainty that sadness does not get last say. The past grace of our Father's purposes and the self-sacrificing love of Jesus provide the indestructible foundation on which to build your life. The present help of Christ through his Holy Spirit works with you so you increasingly find the balance point between joy and sorrow. And the future hope of Christ promises that joy will sweep away all sorrows.

If you want to read the series, follow these links:

Part 1: So many things make me sad.
Part 2: Is it right to feel grief for what is grievous?
Part 3: Does my temperament make me sad?
Part 4: How precisely can I sort out my emotions?
Part 5: Is there a normative internal experience?

image is by Chapendra at flickr

my favourite talks by John Piper

I saw this post: Help us pick Piper's best sermons. So I did. Here are my favourites - not that I've listened to many, but these stood out for me.

• The beautiful faith of fearless submission from the series Marriage, Christ and Covenant. Piper transformed my thinking about biblical womanhood by showing me that a strong trust in God is at its heart.
• Single in Christ: A name better than sons and daughters from the series Marriage, Christ and Covenant. I love the way Piper shows how singleness displays great truths about God.
• Battling the unbelief of despondency from the series Battling Unbelief. At a time I was struggling with discouragement, Piper taught me how to turn a cave into a tunnel.
• Pour out your indignation upon them from the series Psalms: Thinking and feeling with God. A good sermon on a difficult psalm, this helped me understand the psalms of retribution.

Which of Piper's sermons do you like best? Tell us in the comments.

what I'm reading: the Spirit, Jesus' limelight

If I had to sum up what I believe about the Holy Spirit (apart from the fact that he's a member of the Trinity, and works in our hearts to bring us to Jesus) it would go like this:

• the Spirit works in our lives through the Bible, the word of God - when we hear it, when he brings it to mind, when we speak it to others


• the Spirit's role is to point away from himself and to point to Jesus, to bring glory to the Father and the Son

It's the second point that Piper explores in this quote, which I came across while reading Nancy Guthrie's Come Thou Long Expected Jesus in the lead-up to Christmas:

When Jesus promised the Spirit (in John 16:14) he said, "He will glorify me"...The Spirit is shy; he is self-effacing. When we look toward him, he steps back and pushes forward Jesus Christ...

If we look away from Jesus and seek the Spirit and his power directly, we will end up in the mire of our own subjective emotions...Many of use know what it is to crouch on the floor and cry out to the Holy Spirit for joy and power, and experience nothing; but the next day devote ourselves to earnest meditation on the glory of Jesus Christ and be filled with the Spirit...

Christian spiritual experience is not a vague religious emotion. It is an emotion with objective content, and the content is Jesus Christ. The shy member of the Trinity does mighty work, but he never puts himself in the limelight. You might say he is the limelight that puts the attributes of God the Father and the person of Christ into sharp relief.

From John Piper "Conceived by the Holy Spirit" in Nancy Guthrie's Come Thou Long Expected Jesus pages 29-30.

image is by at flickr

what I'm reading: reflections on emotions and moods from Joe Forgas

I read an interesting article by Greg Bearup in Good Weekend the other day, about psychologist Joe Forgas' studies on emotions and moods - which, it seems, are not the same thing at all.

Emotions are usually short-lived and intense, and we're usually aware of them. There are 6 basic human emotions: fear, anger, disgust, sadness, happiness and surprise (try fitting all your emotions into these 6 categories and it will twist your brain a little...). Emotions are the extreme peaks and troughs in our emotional landscape.

Moods, on the other hand, are less intense than emotions, and we're mostly unaware of them. They fluctuate many times during the day as we swap between happy and sad, positive and negative. Moods are the gentle undulations in our emotional landscape.

We live in a society that pursues happiness with dedication; but it seems that sadness (not depression, which is intense and long-lasting) can be good for you. When we're happy, we're more free-flowing and creative. When we're sad, we're more perceptive, our memories work better, and we think more clearly. We might also be more interesting:

Being a bit glum can make you a more interesting person. 'I think most people worth talking to are slightly depressed...It is part of the human condition. It may be that people who are a bit on the negative side see the world as it really is...It tends to be these people who see the world clearly.'

In a world filled with real sorrow, all this emotional navel-gazing seems more than a little self-indulgent. 'Just go and put on a sad movie and you'll be a more interesting person.' But at least it might make us less impatient with feeling sad.

The article was by Greg Bearup, the quote-within-a-quote by Joe Forgas.

Tim Chester on sin and unbelief

On Sunday morning I sing of my belief in justification by faith (confessional faith), but on Monday morning I still feel the need to prove myself (functional disbelief). … I may affirm that God is sovereign (confessional faith), but still get anxious when I can’t control my life (functional disbelief). Sanctification is the progressive narrowing of the gap between confessional faith and functional faith. ...

Not many people think of themselves as someone who believes lies! But every time we don’t trust God’s word we’re believing something else, and that something is always a lie. If I get angry when I’m stuck in traffic it’s because I don’t trust God. I believe the lie that God isn’t in control or that his purposes for me are not good. …

This is a radical view of sin. It means many of our negative emotions are sinful because they’re symptoms of unbelief – the greatest sin and the root sin. Whenever we’re depressed or bitter, it’s because we believe God isn’t being good to us or that he’s not in control. …

We can sin only if we suffer from a radical loss of perspective. Only if we forget that God is great and good can we sin.

Tim Chester You Can Change 82, 87, 92, 103

image is from stock.xchng

how we change (7) what truths do you need to turn to?

Here's where it gets exciting. Let me introduce you to what I call "the 4 Gs". For me, the 4 Gs are the highlight of Tim Chester's You Can Change, and I'm not alone: my friend, whose life was turned upside down by God through this book, turns to the 4 Gs every day. Here they are:

1. God is great – so we don’t have to be in control
2. God is glorious – so we don’t have to fear others
3. God is good – so we don’t have to look elsewhere
4. God is gracious – so we don’t have to prove ourselves

Easy to remember, bursting with the conviction of God's loving sovereignty, full of hope: I turn to the 4 Gs every time I feel anxious, overwhelmed, depressed, discouraged, or guilty. Every time I'm tempted to value the praise of others over the praise of God. Every time I'm tempted to put my hope in possessions, pleasure, or relationships. Every time I'm tempted to prove myself through my perfectionism.

Why is it so important to turn to God's truth when we're tempted? Because every sin begins with a lie (Rom 1:25, Heb 3:12-14). You can't sin unless you believe happiness is found in something other than God. You can't worry unless you forget God's wise sovereignty over your life. You can't despair unless you doubt the love of the One who sent his Son to die for you.

I love how Chester puts it: our sin lies in the gap between "confessional faith" (what we say in church on Sundays) and "functional disbelief" (what we do and feel on Mondays). "We can sin only if we suffer from a radical loss of perspective. Only if we forget that God is great and good can we sin."

If sin begins with a lie, the cure is faith: believing the truth about God and the gospel. When the Bible talks about change, it begins with the gospel transforming our minds: "be made new in the attitude of your minds", "set your hearts" and "minds on things above" (Rom 12:1-2, Eph 4:22-24, Col 3:1-4, Heb 12:1). As we fill our minds with God's truth from his word, it burrows its way deep into us and transforms our emotions and choices.

One of the things which fascinates me about this cure - the idea that change comes as we turn from our wrong beliefs to the truth - is that it's as old as the psalms, and as new as the methods of modern psychologists.

It's as new as modern psychology. Cognitive behavioural therapy, the method now used most widely for treating anxiety and depression, is just a secular form of turning from wrong beliefs to more "realistic" interpretations of our circumstances.

Psychologists recognise that what causes my emotions and behaviour isn't ultimately my circumstances, but how I interpret my circumstances: "No-one will ever love me. I'm worth nothing if he rejects me. I can't cope if that happens." The alternate thoughts they offer are void of God, but they imitate sanctified wisdom: "It doesn't matter what people think of me. This feeling won't last forever. There will be other opportunities."

As Christians, we'll turn not only to common-sense and wisdom, but more importantly, we'll turn to truths about God: "What matters is what God thinks of me, and he loves me and sees me as perfect in Jesus. God's promises are more reliable than my feelings. My loving Father is in control of my circumstances." Alison Payne says that You Can Change “is like cognitive behaviour therapy driven by the gospel and the character of God.”

This cure is also as ancient as the Psalms. Listen to the Psalmists as they argue themselves out of fear, doubt and despondency and into trust and hope in God:

The LORD is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? ...
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God ...
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; ... he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. ...
Has God forgotten to be merciful? ... To this I will appeal: ... I will remember the deeds of the LORD ...
Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
(Ps 27:1, 42:5, 62:5-6, 77:9-12, 103:1-2)

Can you hear them arguing, begging, pleading with themselves? Can you hear them taking their glooms and fears and beating them into submission with the weapon of God's truth? Can you hear them turning their anxiety into trust and their joy into praise?

The same cure has been handed down through the ages by wise Christian writers and preachers like the Puritans and Charles Spurgeon. Who could forget the words of Martyn Lloyd-Jones:

I say that we must talk to ourselves instead of allowing ‘ourselves’ to talk to us! … You have to take yourself in hand, you have to address yourself, preach to yourself, question yourself. ... And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and what God is and what God has done, and what God has pledged himself to do. Then having done that, end on this great note: defy yourself, and defy other people, and defy the devil and the whole world, and say with this man: ‘I shall yet praise Him.’ (Spiritual Depression pp.20-21.)

God's truth - his word and gospel - is our greatest weapon. Let's take the great truths about God - that he is great, glorious, good and gracious - and preach them to our souls. Let's believe God's word instead of our feelings and sinful desires. Let's take the gospel and dwell on it until it lives in our minds and hearts. Only then will true change become possible - change from the inside out.

For reflection:
When you struggle, what lies are you believing? What truths about God and the gospel could you turn to?

It might help to draw up a thought chart. You'll need 4 columns: 1 = situation, 2 = moods and actions, 3 = thoughts, 4 = thoughts and actions based on God's truth. In the 1st write what situation you were in when you struggled with a particular emotion or sinful behaviour. In the 2nd write what you were feeling and what you did. In the 3rd write the thoughts that were going through your head at the time. You might like to circle the "hot thought" - the one which was most strongly connected to what you felt or what you did. In the 4th write out new ways of thinking based on truths about God and the gospel, and on common-sense and wisdom; and some new ways of acting which will support these beliefs. If you'd like to see a worked example, please contact me.

If you'd like to see or use my seminar How Change Happens, which is based on Tim Chester's You Can Change, please contact me.

Tim Chester quotes are from chapter 5 of You Can Change

images are from Giampaolo Macorig, Leo Reynolds, LU5H.bunny, twenty_questions and Dimi15 from flickr; second last image is from stock.xchng; used with permission

lessons from the Psalms: the battle-field of the human heart

How do we turn a cave into a tunnel? How can faith win the battle against unbelief, on a day dark with despondancy, worry or fear? How will we learn to declare, when despair threatens to snuff out every last ray of light:

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:36).

The lesson of Jesus' life and the lesson of the Psalms is this: every cave that you're in—wandering along, feeling the rocks, stumbling, stepping, bumping your head—every cave that you are in is a tunnel that opens into glory. It opens into a day like today in Heaven, with the sun shining, and the grass green, and the waters flowing—as long as you don’t sit down in the cave and blow out the candle of faith.*

I want to tell you about two sermon series being preached at the moment in two great churches. Both are on the Psalms and how they address the struggles, thoughts and feelings of the human heart.

I'll be downloading them. Partly because I'm writing a seminar on this topic. Partly because it fascinates me. Partly because my heart is as dark, and my mind and emotions as unruly as yours.

Here they are:

Psalms: Thinking and Feeling with God by John Piper
topics: songs that shape the heart and mind; spiritual depression in the psalms; to be continued ...

Psalms from Covenant Life Church, where Josh Harris is the senior pastor
topics: the lonely / addicted / depressed / guilty / suffering / bitter / aging; to be continued ...

And while we're at it, check out this 20 year old series by John Piper, still well worth the listening:

Battling unbelief by John Piper
topics: battling unbelief at Bethlehem; battling the unbelief of anxiety / misplaced shame / regret / covetousness / lust / envy / bitterness / impatience / despondancy / a haughty spirit

* John Piper's Battling the Unbelief of Despondency

to the great writers of the past

"To the memory of JOHN OWEN who has wakened hope for many in the darkness of perfectionistic despair."

Having written a PhD on John Owen, and loving the Puritans as I do, not to mention being a perfectionist to the core, I was delighted to find this dedication in John Piper's When the darkness will not lift, which I picked off the shelf this morning hoping it might help with my ongoing coming-and-froing now-you-see-it-now-you-don't state of discouragement.

Speaking of books, if you look at the right of my blog, you'll see a new book list. Here are the books I'm planning to use this year to explore issues like godly womanhood, discouragement, honouring God with our thoughts and emotions, people-pleasing, self-control, and parenting.

A hint about some of the topics you can expect posts on in the months ahead!!

Right now I'm reading Edward T. Welch's When people are big and God is small and John Piper's When the darkness will not lift (which is based on the last chapter in When I don't desire God, which I might have a look at too). You might like to read them along with me.