what I'm reading: why God allows evil

I was hunting through some old drafts, looking for something to post on a mostly empty blog (we have been away), when I came across this quote from Tim Keller's Walking with God through pain and suffering. Such an encouragement!

Why could it not be that God allowed evil because it will bring us all to a far greater glory and joy than we would have had otherwise? Isn't it possible that the eventual glory and joy we will know will be infinitely greater than it would have been had there been no evil?

What if that future world will somehow be greater for having once been broken and lost? If such is the case, that would truly mean the utter defeat of evil. Evil would not just be an obstacle to our beauty and bliss, but it will have only made it better. Evil would have accomplished the very opposite of what it intended.

How might that come about? At the simplest level, we know that only if there is danger can there be courage. And apart from sin and evil we would never have seen the courage of God, or the astonishing extent of his love, or the glolry of a deity who lays aside his glory and goes to the cross.

For us here in this life, the thought of God's glory is rather remote and abstract. But we must realize that the most rapturous delights you have ever had - in the beauty of a landscape, or in the pleasure of food, or in the fulfillment of a loving embrace - are like dewdrops compared to the bottomless ocean of joy that it will be to see God face-to-face (1 John 3:1-3). That is what we are in for, nothing less.

And according to the Bible, that glorious beauty, and our enjoyment of it, has been immeasurable enhanced by Christ's redemption of us from evil and death ... Because of our fall and redemption, we will achieve a level of intimacy with God that cannot be received any other way ...

And why could it not be that our future glory will actually so "swallow" the evil of the past that in some unimaginable way even the memory of the evil won't darken our hearts but only make us happier? (117-118)

what I'm reading: when all other lights go out

I remember it so clearly. I lay on my front across Steve's hospital bed, and he sat in a chair by a window with a view of a brick wall. A nurse stuck her head round the curtains and said, "You look relaxed, like you're on holiday or something!".

We weren't. We'd just found out what kind of cancer Steve has, and I was reading to him from Tim Keller's Walking with God through pain and suffering.

I haven't been able to read much the last 3 months. But I recently picked up Keller's book again. He explores three aspects of suffering - philosophy, theology, and experience - and suggests you begin with the section most relevant to your circumstances, then go back and read the others.

I started with the section on philosophy and culture (before Steve got ill), skipped to the bit on experience (after we found out Steve has cancer), and am now reading the chapters on theology. The philosophy is fascinating and intellectually satisfying; the theology (so far) sound and clear; the section on experience, deeply encouraging.

It's a rich, wise, nourishing book. I recommend it highly. And it's full of quotable quotes, some by Keller, some collected from others. Here's one that sums up our year so far:

This is a dark world. There are many ways we keep that darkness at bay, but we cannot do it forever. Eventually the lights of our lives - love, health, home, work - will begin to go out. ... The Bible says that Jesus is the light of the world. If you know you are in his love, and that nothing can snatch you out of his hand, and that he is taking you to God's house and God's future - then he can be a light for you in dark places when all other lights go out. (123-124)

 Here's one that gives me hope:

At some point, for all eternity, there will be no more unmerited suffering: this present darkness, "the age of evil", will eventually be remembered as a brief flicker at the beginning of human history. Every evil done by the wicked to the innocent will have been avenged, and every tear will have been wiped away. (Peter van Inwagen, quoted p. 117)

And, finally, here's one on the "why" of suffering and the cross:

We do not know the reason God allows evil and suffering to continue, or why it is so random, but now at least we know what the reason is not. It cannot be that he does not love us. It cannot be that he does not care. He is so committed to our ultimate happiness that he was willing to plunge into the greatest depths of suffering himself.  He understand us, he has been there, and he assures us that he has a plan to eventually wipe away every tear. Someone might say, "But that's only half an answer to the question "Why?". Yes, but it is the half we need. (121)

I guess you can see why I love this book so much.

what I'm reading: walking through suffering

We are facing a very hard time at the moment. I will tell you more about it another time, but please keep us in your prayers.

This morning I read these words in Tim Keller's Walking with God through pain and suffering. They were just what I needed to hear:

Suffering is something that must be walked through. We are to meet and move through suffering without shock and surprise, without denial of our sorrow and weakness, without resentment or paralyzing fear, yet also without acquiescence or capitulation, without surrender or despair.

Adversity is like a fire that, rather than destroying you, can refine, strengthen, and beautify you, as a forge does with metal ore. The fire "tries" to destroy the metal put into the fire but only succeeds in making it more pure and beautiful. Like fire working on gold, suffering can destroy some things within us and can purify and strengthen other things.

Or not. It depends on our response. The fiery furnace does not automatically make us better. We must recognize, depend on, speak with, and believe in God while in the fire. God himself says that he will be with us, walking beside us in the fire. Knowing him personally while in our affection is the key to becoming stronger rather than weaker in it.

Tim Keller, Walking with God through pain and suffering, 226-9

what I'm reading: the still point of your turning world

I think this is wonderful:

Many people say, “Sure I believe that Jesus is a great teacher, but I can’t believe what they say about him being God.”

That creates a problem, because his teaching is based on his identity claim. ... He is the One who created the world.

Here is how his historian NT Wright puts it:

How can you live with the terrifying thought that the hurricane has become human, that fire has become flesh, that life itself became life and walked in our midst?

Christianity either means that, or it means nothing. It is either the most devastating disclosure of the deepest reality of the world, or it is a sham, a nonsense, a bit of deceitful playacting.

Most of us, unable to cope with saying either of those things, condemn ourselves to live in the shallow world in between.

In the end, you can’t simply like anybody who makes claims like those of Jesus.

Either he’s a wicked liar or a crazy person and you should have nothing to do with him, or he is who he says he is and your whole life has to revolve around him and you have to throw everything at his feet and say “Command me.”

Or do you live in that misty “world in between” that Wright says no one can live in with integrity? Do you pray to Jesus when you’re in trouble, and otherwise mostly ignore him because you get busy?

Either Jesus can’t hear you because he’s not who he says he is—or if he is who he says he is, he must become the still point of your turning world, the center around which your entire life revolves.

Tim Keller's King's Cross 44-45.

what I'm reading: untameable love

It's all very well knowing that God is in control when you're going through a hard time. Well, actually, it's more than "very well" - it's hugely comforting, because he's our loving, wise Father. But at the same time, it's scary, because he's in control and we're not.

Tim Keller captures this tension perfectly as he reflects on the disciples' reaction to Jesus calming the storm:

Why were they more terrified in the calm than they were in the storm? Because Jesus was as unmanageable as the storm itself.

The storm had immense power - they couldn't control it. Jesus had infinitely more power, so they had even less control over him.

But there's a huge difference. A storm doesn't love you. ... Nature is violent and overwhelming - it's unmanageable power, and it's going to get you sooner or later.

You may say, that's true, but if I go to Jesus, he’s not under my control either. He lets things happen that I don’t understand. He doesn’t do things according to my plan, or in a way that makes sense to me.

But if Jesus is God, then he’s got to be great enough to have some reasons to let you go through things you can’t understand. His power is unbounded, but so are his wisdom and his love. ...

Jesus is filled with untameable love for you. ... He can love somebody and still let bad things happen to them, because He is God – because he knows better than they do. ...

If you have a God great enough and powerful enough to be mad at because he doesn't stop your suffering, you also have a God who's great enough and powerful enough to have reasons that you can't understand. ...

Is he safe? "Of course he's not safe. Who said anything about being safe? But he's good. He's the King."

Tim Keller's King's Cross, 54-55; quote at the end is by CS Lewis.

my favourite Christian reads in 2013

What were my favourite reads in 2013? I'm sure you want to know!

Or, at least, Eternity Newspaper wanted to know. So I wrote this. (You can read the whole article - with some great recommendations by others - here.)

I've added one book to the end, because I've wanted to encourage you to read it for years.

Timothy Keller King's Cross
Every year, I read a book on the cross or God's character, slowly and prayerfully, week by week, on my mornings off. This year, I enjoyed Tim Keller's King's Cross (also called Jesus the King). It bears all the hallmarks of his style: it's richly written, profoundly wise, culturally engaging, and deals with familiar themes like idolatry and the trinity. Every chapter brought me face-to-face with Jesus, to be moved, challenged and changed by him. This book deserves to become a classic. It will make a great gift for both believers and unbelievers.

Joni Eareckson Tada and Steven Estes When God Weeps 
There's a point in suffering when you can read books on the topic again. My son has been chronically ill for several years now, and I reached that point about 6 months ago. In the pages of When God Weeps I found wisdom, solace, courage and hope. The writing is colorful and honest, with a blend of Joni's long experience and Steven's tight theology (though I didn't agree at all points). There are terrific reflections on God's character, avoiding bitterness, and hell. As I read the final chapter on heaven, I found myself in tears. This is the perfect book to give someone going through a time of trial.

David Helm One to One Bible Reading
Only 100 pages long, this is a top-of-the-list ministry resource. How does God change lives? Through his word. How can we be involved? By reading the Bible with a friend. Who could benefit? Anyone, Christian or non-Christian, mature or new to the faith. It's that simple; but it can sound intimidating. David Helm first inspires us, and then introduces tools like the Swedish method and COMA, easy-to-use methods that require only an open Bible. I've led one training seminar based on this book, and will continue to put it into the hands of those I teach and train.

Paul David Tripp Lost in the Middle
I'm tempted to review this book without the title. You don't have to be middle aged to struggle with issues like regret, disappointment, loss of identity, the collapse of dreams, and the transience of life. This book helped me at a time when I was questioning many things about myself and the direction I was going in. It's the best book I've read to come out of the biblical counselling movement; almost a handbook of the big issues we're likely to face in life. I'd like to put this book on my "top reads" for every Christian. Whatever your age, I invite you to read it: you're in for a treat.

what I'm reading: when you love something more than God

I was sitting in my favourite cafe, reading Tim Keller's King's Cross, when I came across one of those passages that picks you apart at the very core:

When you are in spiritual darkness, although you may feel your life is headed in the right direction, you are actually profoundly disoriented.

If anything but God is more important to you, you have a problem with direction. It's impossible to discern where you're going, let alone where you ought to be going. Money, career, love - for a period of time you may feel you have something to live for. But if you actually get the thing you have been seeking, you suddenly realize that it's not big enough for your soul. It doesn't produce its own light.

Also, if you centre on anything but God, you suffer a loss of identity. Your identity will be fragile and insecure, because it's based on the things you centre your life on. It's based on human approval. It's based on how well you perform. You don't really know who you are. In the darkness you can't see yourself.

Moreover, in spiritual darkness you are isolated. You are wrapped up in the things that you're living for, so you're always scared or angry or proud or driven or full of self-pity. As a result, you become isolated from other people. ...

Let me illustrate this personally .... If my preaching and ministry are my ultimate centre and I get criticism, then I'm overcome with insecurity. Or when I fail to perform up to my expectations, I'm devastated. Inordinate guilt churns inside me. In the end I begin to disintegrate. ...

Spiritual darkness - turning away from God, the true light, and making anything more important than him - leads invariably from disorientation to disintegration ... But that trajectory won't stop at the end of our lives ... Being out of the presence of God, who is all light and all truth, means utter darkness and eternal disintegration ...

Jesus' death happened in the dark ... Jesus, the Maker of the world, was being unmade. Jesus was experiencing our judgement day.

Tim Keller, King's Cross, pp. 200-205, bold print mine.

what I'm reading: when worry comes from a need to control from King's Cross

I came across this quote while reading Tim Keller's King's Cross the other day, and found it profoundly helpful. It reminded me that my worry - including my worry about those dear to me - is so often rooted in a need to control:

At some level, your normal assumptions, your pride and your egotistical way of thinking, are blinding you to the truth.

One prime example of this is worry. Naturally, if you love people, you're going to worry about them.

But do you know where constant worry comes from? It's rooted in an arrogance that assumes, I know the way my life has to go, and God's not getting it right.

Real humility means to relax.

One of the hardest things for me is trusting God about things that I have absolutely no control over. Usually, when I worry, the first thing I do is try to fix things. But there are some things you just can't fix.

My son's ongoing illness is one thing I can't fix. God has ripped the reins out of my hands. Yes, I can take my son to (lots and lots of) doctors; I can structure his days and care for his needs; I can talk to his teachers about how to care for him - but nothing I do can make him better.

Sometimes it feels like God has been whispering - no, shouting! (I'm a little hard of hearing) - in my ears, over and over, for years now, as I've loved and raised my children: "You aren't the one in control - I AM!"

I don't find this easy to hear. I'm stubborn. I like to be in control. I worry, I struggle, I fight. But then I give up and give my son up to God. I don't do this by choice. God has left me with no other choice.

I guess God, in his severe mercy, sometimes lets these things into our lives to remind us that, ultimately, we really have very little control at all. All we can do is give up our striving and pray and trust him. And that is HARD.

But if God is all that we believe he is - if he is all that we can see he is in Jesus - if he is love, and power, and compassion, and wisdom, and sovereignty, and grace - then we can give up our striving, our worry, and rest in him, knowing that he wants what is best, both for us and for those we love.

Quote is from Tim Keller King's Cross 147.

because of Easter, suffering isn't senseless

My mum sent me this quote from King's Cross - I've turned her into a Tim Keller fan! - and I read it myself and shared it with my son.

It's for all of you, especially those who suffer, on this Good Friday.

Christianity is the only religious faith that says that God himself actually suffered, actually cried out in suffering.

Now what good is that?… God came into the world and suffered and died on the cross in order to save us. It is the ultimate proof of his love for us.

When you suffer, you may be completely in the dark about the reason for your own suffering. It may seem as senseless to you as Jesus’s suffering seemed to the disciples. But the cross tells you what the reason isn’t.

It can’t be that God doesn’t love you; it can’t be that he has no plan for you. It can’t be that he has abandoned you.

Jesus was abandoned, and paid for our sins, so that God the Father would never abandon you. The cross proves that he loves you and understands what it means to suffer. It also demonstrates that God can be working in your life even when it seems like there is no rhyme or reason to what is happening…

If you look at the cross you can no longer go through suffering in the same way….

[This] passage from The Lord of the Rings...comes near the end of the third book, when evil and darkness seem overwhelming. Here is what Tolkien tells us about the thoughts of Sam:

Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the though pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach…Now, for a moment, his own fate…ceased to trouble him…Putting away all fear, he cast himself into a deep, untroubled sleep.

Because of Jesus’ death, evil is a passing thing – a shadow. There is light and high beauty forever beyond its reach because evil feel into the heart of Jesus. The only darkness that could have destroyed us forever fell into his heart…

It is going to be all right.

From King's Cross 170-171.

what's the point of marriage? (4) marriage looks outward: Christopher Ash Married for God

The whole business of marriage… [is] the loving joyful service of God, as we look outward from our marriages and as couples seek to care for God’s world together… This is delight with a shared purpose, intimacy with a common goal, and companionship in a task that stretches beyond the boundaries of the couple themselves… proclaiming Jesus Christ is at the forefront of that service.1

“What is the point of marriage?” asks British theologian Christopher Ash. He sums up his answer with the motto “sex in the service of God” (where sex stands in for the whole marriage relationship).

We often assume that marriage was God’s cure for Adam’s loneliness, but Ash argues that fellowship with others is the Bible’s solution for loneliness. The context of Genesis 2 shows that Adam’s real problem was that the job of ruling and caring for God’s world was “too big for him to do on his own”. That’s why God gave him “‘a helper’ rather than ‘a companion’”—that is, “one who works alongside so that both together can do a task”.2 

The joyful one-flesh intimacy at the heart of marriage is the centre out of which this loving service flows. The focus of marriage, then, is not inward but outward, on the task that the man and woman and their children do together in God’s world. Marriage is for service.

This is a revolutionary idea. When I first read Married for God, it clarified my thinking and helped me see my marriage as a partnership for God’s service. The work of a scholar, this book has a clear structure. After establishing marriage’s central purpose, Ash devotes a chapter to each of the three traditional goals of marriage, showing how they serve this purpose. At points I found his arguments a little reductionistic—is marriage really not part of God’s provision to meet our needs?3—but his book is a helpful corrective to relationally-obsessed, self-centred views of marriage.

Ash not only has a keen mind, but also a pastor’s heart. He begins by addressing the guilt and sexual baggage we carry into marriage, and his view of marriage isn’t coldly task-oriented but warmly relational. The three chapters that stood out for me were on sex and intimacy, the marriage institution, and the faithfulness at the heart of marriage. An odd collection! But I love the way they show how covenant-keeping puts walls around a marriage, providing a safe place for love and delight to flourish, and then puts doors and windows in these walls, so that love overflows to others and welcomes them in.

Would I recommend this book? Absolutely. It deserves to be more widely read. It’s so unique and timely that I’d almost set it as required reading for those considering marriage. Its teaching on loneliness is helpful for singles, and I can think of no better book to give married couples a clear mission, turning them from unhealthy introspection to joyful, side-by-side, gospel-centred, grace-driven service.

You can read my full article at The Briefing.

1. Ash, Married for God, pp. 33, 37, 44.
2. ibid., p. 36.
3. ibid., p. 39.

what's the point of marriage? (3) marriage looks inward: Timothy Keller’s The Meaning of Marriage

Marriage is a friendship… Friendship is a deep oneness that develops as two people, speaking the truth in love to each other, journey together to the same horizon. Spiritual friendship is the greatest journey of all, because the horizon is so high and far, yet sure—it is nothing less than “the day of Jesus Christ” and what we will be like when we finally see him face-to-face… What, then, is marriage for? It is for helping each other to become our future glory-selves, the new creations that God will eventually make us.1

“What is marriage for?” asks Timothy Keller in The Meaning of Marriage. He devotes chapter four to the answer: marriage is “a way for two spiritual friends to help each other on their journey to become the persons God designed them to be”.2 Marriage was God’s solution to loneliness: he made the woman to be Adam’s ’ezer, his ‘helper-companion’ (Gen 2:18) or ‘best friend’ (Prov 2:17), a theme Keller traces through the Bible (Song 5:16; Mal 2:14). Yet this is not friendship as an end in itself. Just as Christ sacrificed himself for his bride, the church, to make her holy (Eph 5:26), so husband and wife help each other become the people God made them to be.

The focus on marriage as friendship is this book’s strength, but also, at times, its weakness. There’s excellent advice on choosing a spouse—close friendship trumps romantic attraction—but the emphasis on the ‘secret thread’ or ‘mythos’ shared by true friends risks creating a new kind of ‘compatibility’ and discontentment in marriage.9 Yet this is more than balanced out by Keller’s realistic, biblical portrait of marriage as a covenant between two sinners, characterized by self-giving, truth-speaking, grace-fuelled love, even when you feel like you are loving a stranger.

Reading Keller is like reading the best of novels: you get caught up in the words while receiving rich food for the soul. Chapter after chapter covers useful ground: the first engages with our culture’s self-defeating romantic idealism; the second reminds us that only the gospel empowers love; and the third focuses on marriage’s heart, the faithful love that acts when it doesn’t feel yet grows through holiness into happiness. Kathy Keller’s chapter on headship and submission is a joy to read, and I appreciated her careful analysis of the difficult topics of gender and work. I was intrigued by the idea that marriage reflects the “dance of the Trinity” with its mutual self-giving love, and inspired by the way both husbands and wives are encouraged to take on the ‘Jesus role’ in marriage (Eph 5:21-33 cf. 1 Cor 11:3; Phil 2:1-11; 1 Pet 2:21-3:7).

I can see myself recommending this book again and again. It’s a gift to pastors and counselors, and single people will value its practical advice on dating and choosing a spouse. It will help engaged couples to lay a firm foundation for marriage, and married couples to build a strong relationship of mutual love. But to keep marriage from becoming insular, I’d suggest another book to be read in tandem with Keller’s.

I'll tell you about Christopher Ash's book next week, or you can read about it in my full article at The Briefing.

1. Timothy and Kathy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage, Hodder & Stoughton, London, 2011, pp. 110, 116-117, 120.
2. ibid., pp. 15-16.
3. bid., pp.124-126 cf. 112-114.

what's the point of marriage? (2) marriage looks upward: John Piper’s This Momentary Marriage

The ultimate thing we can say about marriage is that it exists for God’s glory. That is, it exists to display God… The highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display.1

“What is marriage for?” asks John Piper in This Momentary Marriage. He answers that marriage doesn’t primarily look inward to the wellbeing of the relationship, nor even outward to the good of society or the world.2 Its ultimate movement is upward, for it was made to display the love between Christ and his people (Gen 2:18-25 cf. Eph 5:21-33). As we keep covenant with our spouse, serve them in love, and give them grace, we tell “the truth about God’s covenant with us in Jesus Christ”.3 This is a vital perspective on marriage, and I’m glad Piper devoted a book to it; as his wife Noel says, “You cannot say too often that marriage is a model of Christ and the church”.4

I always enjoy Piper’s lyricism and logic, but his books can sometimes be a little daunting. Not this one! It’s a short and easy read, and while it emphasizes eternal realities, it’s very practical. I particularly enjoyed chapter four, on forgiveness and forbearance and how to bend God’s grace towards one’s spouse; and chapter eight, on submission, which gave me a vision for the strong faith at the heart of biblical womanhood; and chapter nine, about the great truths displayed uniquely by singleness.

The book is a little meandering, but there are gems in the tangents. For example, the chapter on hospitality includes wise pastoral advice encouraging married and single people to share their lives. I won’t be the only one who differs from Piper on divorce and remarriage, and I would have liked to ask further questions about issues like the duty of procreation, but these are small quibbles.

So would I recommend This Momentary Marriage? Yes. It’s a great starting-point for understanding how both marriage and singleness display eternal realities, and what one’s role in this should be. It’s also rich food for mature marriages; my husband and I read it together and were helped to love each other better. But I wouldn’t stop here. To explore the marriage relationship more deeply, I’d turn to a book by American pastor and theologian Timothy Keller....

I'll tell you about Keller's book next week, or you can read about it in my full article The Briefing.

1. John Piper, This Momentary Marriage, Crossway, Wheaton, 2009, p. 25.
2. ibid., pp. 177-8.
3. ibid., pp. 25-26.
4. ibid., p. 42.

what’s the point of marriage? (1) introduction

Last year I read lots of books on marriage! I reviewed three of them for The Briefing. Here's what I found.

There’s nothing like a bunch of marriage books to make your head spin. Mostly I avoid them—too many guilt-producing suggestions about the ‘must-dos’ of a relationship—but I’ve been writing a seminar on the topic, so it was time to hit the books.

What I found intrigued me. There’s little agreement amongst respected theologians about the why of marriage. They agree on the what—marriage is a life-long covenant between a man and a woman—and if you’re interested in the how, just head for the groaning shelf of your nearest Christian bookshop. But the how is just an empty handful of rules and tips without the why to give it shape and meaning.

So why did God make marriage? Traditionally, marriage was seen as having three purposes. The 1662 Book of Common Prayer says,

First, It was ordained for the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord…

Secondly, It was ordained for a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication…

Thirdly, It was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other…1

Children, sexual purity, and mutual help. These are biblical goals, and a helpful corrective to our romance-saturated view of marriage—but you can sense they all point to a greater goal. Christopher Ash says, “We need one unifying purpose of God to hold our thinking together.2 What, ultimately, is marriage for?

In my reading, there were three books on marriage that I thought came closest to answering this question: John Piper’s This Momentary Marriage, Timothy Keller’s The Meaning of Marriage, and Christopher Ash’s Married for God.They look in different directions to find the purpose of marriage—one upward, one inward, and one outward. Let’s consider them in turn...

You can read the rest at The Briefing.

1. Phillip Jensen gives a helpful perspective on how these goals have changed over time in ‘The Devolution of Marriage’ at http://phillipjensen.com/articles/the-devolution-of-marriage/.
2. Christopher Ash, Married for God, InterVarsity Press, Nottingham, 2007, p. 31.

what I'm reading: Tim Keller, inferiority complexes, and King's Cross

I've been reading Tim Keller's King's Cross for nearly a year, and I'm only 8 chapters in. Who says I'm a fast reader?

Some books need to be read slowly. Savoured, one chapter at a time.

Once a month or so, on my rare mornings off, I sit on a verandah outside my favourite cafe, overlooked by oak trees, sipping a spiced chai, reflecting and writing and staring into space.

And I read a single chapter of King's Cross - Tim Keller's exploration of the life of Jesus - and drink in every word.

I forget the gospel so quickly, but this book brings me back to the living water time after time.

Last Friday I recognised myself in these words:

See, there are two ways to fail to let Jesus be your Saviour. One is by being too proud, having a superiority complex—not to accept his challenge. But the other is through an inferiority complex—being so self-absorbed that you say, “I’m just so awful that God can’t love me.” That is, not to accept his offer.

I can be in either camp, depending on the day! But the second comes to me more naturally - and is harder to recognise.

So I love John Newton's words to a depressed man, quoted by Keller:

You say you feel overwhelmed with guilt and a sense of unworthiness. Well, you cannot be too aware of the inward and inbred evils you complain of, but you may be (indeed you are) improperly controlled and affected by them.

You say it is hard to understand how a holy God could accept such an awful person as yourself. You, then, not only express a low opinion of yourself (which is right!) but also too low an opinion of the person, work, and promises of the Redeemer, which is wrong.

You complain about sin, but when we examine your complaints, they are so full of self-righteousness, unbelief, pride, and impatience that they are little better than the worst evils you complain of!

Keller concludes,

Approach Jesus boldly, with rightless assertiveness [I love that phrase!]...Take up both the offer and challenge of God's infinite mercy.

I'm learning to do just that.


Quotes are from Tim Keller, King's Cross, 90-91.

what I'm reading: spiritual friendship from Tim Keller

Have you ever wondered what friendship between two Christians is for? What lifts it beyond ordinary friendship? What makes it something lasting, worthwhile, of eternal value?

Here's a definition of spiritual friendship from Tim Keller that puts it so beautifully, and gives us something to aim for. (He's writing about marriage, but I think it applies to any friendship.)

Friendship is a deep oneness that develops as two people, speaking the truth in love to each other, journey together to the same horizon. Spiritual friendship is the greatest journey of all, because the horizon is so high and far, yet sure – it is nothing less than “the day of Jesus Christ” and what we will be like when we finally see him face to face…What, then, is [friendship] for? It is for helping each other to become our future glory-selves, the new creations that God will eventually make us. 

From Tim Keller  The Meaning of Marriage 116-117, 120. 

image is by Zaro from flickr  

why women should read more theology (what I'm reading: Tony Reinke's Lit!)

Do you find it easy, or hard, to read books? Either way, this one's for you.

Top of the list of books I've read recently is Tony Reinke's Lit! A Christian Guide to Reading Books. I'm an avid reader, and I learned heaps about what and how to read. If you struggle to read, I suspect you'll find this book even more helpful.

Maybe you want to read more, but don't know where to start. Maybe you love books, but your reading feels a little aimless. Reinke covers it all, first with a great theology of books, then with a whole heap of practical tips about how to choose and read books.

This week I've chosen a quote that encourages women to read theological books about Jesus. Next week, I'll go for the other end of the scale, and share something about why we should read novels. Just so you can't say I've left anything - or anyone - out!

Theologically weighty books about Christ are essential for the soul—for men and women. And although women purchase the majority of books released by Christian publishers, women are far less likely to read theological books, writes counselor and author Elyse Fitzpatrick. In her 2003 evaluation of the Christian publishing industry, she writes, “Many women are intimidated by the thought of studying something that is ‘theological’ in nature. They are afraid of being bored, looking foolish, becoming unattractive to men, or becoming divisive.”...

She confronts women who would rather read only novels as a way to escape personal disappointments, and who read these books to “build fantasy castles filled with knights on white steeds who will come to rescue her from her mundane, stressful, empty, or disappointing life.” Rather, she offers this challenge: “Let’s become known as a generation of women who delight in, tremble before, receive counsel from, drink, devour, digest, muse upon, and absolutely cherish God and the truth that He’s revealed about Himself and about ourselves. Let’s not worry about whether we look dumb or too smart.”...

If women commit to reading books of solid theology, their knowledge of Christ will grow..."This is the most delightful pursuit any woman could ever know."

(And who should you read? Reinke suggests, among others, John Calvin, Martin Luther, Jonathon Edwards, John Owen, JI Packer, Don Carson, John Stott, John Piper and CH Mahaney. On the topic of Christ, I'd add Tim Chester and Tim Keller. A good place to start is John Stott's The Cross of Christ and Tim Keller's King's Cross - or how about this one, which I haven't read, but it's by The Don, and that's all the recommendation I need: Don Carson's Scandalous: The cross and resurrection of Jesus.)

Quote is from Tony Reinke Lit! A Christian Guide to Reading Books pages 96-97.

Tim Keller Praying your fears

Last week I told you about Tim Keller's talk Praying our Tears. Today I'd like to tell you about Praying our Fears, in which he continues his series on Psalms.

If fear is not just being scared of real danger, but also worry about things that may never happen, then I'm an expert. I've known months when there was a band of anxiety around my middle and a sensation of butterflies in my stomach. If you're an anxious person, you know what I mean.

Tim Keller talks about both kinds of fear - fear of an immediate threat, and persistent anxiety - in his talk Praying our Fears on Psalm 3. Here's what he taught me about fear.

There are 2 steps into fear.
1. Fear: a healthy response to danger, which drives us to fight or flight, and then is gone.
2. Anxiety: a lingering, generalised, undefined sense of fear which paralyses us.

If fear is a thunderstorm, anxiety is a constant, cold drizzle: the first produces green growth, the second mildew. Fear can be good for us - it gets us out of danger! - but anxiety makes us agitated, nervous and upset. Constant anxiety can permanently turn on our autonomic nervous system, which is only meant to respond to crises, and so lead to all kinds of health issues.

What causes this second, debilitating kind of fear is not a threat to life or safety, but a threat to our identity: when something that makes us feel in control is threatened or taken away. In Psalm 3 David faces both kinds of fear: the physical threat from Absalom's armies, and the threat to his identity as the beloved, honoured, upright king of his people.

But how do we escape from this second, debilitating kind of fear?

There are 4 steps out of fear.
1. Follow your thread.
David describes God as a "shield around me" (Ps 3:1): a full-body shield which curves around the body, meant not for hand-to-hand combat but for following your commander into situations of extreme danger. If you turn and run, the shield won't protect you. It's only useful when you're heading into danger. Obedience takes us not away from fear, but through and beyond our fear.

2. Relocate your glory.
David says, literally, "but you are my glory" (Ps 3:3). He says "but..." because something else has become his glory: he has built his emotional and psychological identity on something other than God. When we put our worth and security in something finite, out there in time and space, we are always vulnerable. So we need to relocate our glory: not in our talents or our role, or others' opinion of us, but in God's approval.

3. See the substitute.
But how do we know we have God's approval? David says that God hears him because of his "holy hill", the temple (Ps 3:4), the symbol of our Saviour Jesus. Our significance doesn't come from what we have achieved or what we have, but from Jesus, the one who was cut off from God so we don't have to be.

4. Remember the people.
The opposite of fear is not an absence of fear, but love (1 Jn 4:18 cf Ps 3:8). Fear is self-centred, love is other-centred. You can't deal with fear by yourself: you have to get your mind off yourself by serving others in love.

So here's the solution to fear:

• go forward in obedience, whatever the cost
• seek my identity in God, instead of the thing I'm scared to lose
• look to the cross, where my significance comes from
• forget myself in love for others.

It sounds about right to me!

imags are from stock.xchng and sentex64 at flickr

the princess follows her thread

Have you read George MacDonald's The Princess and the Goblin? It was one of my favourite books as a child - and a great one to read with your kids, not least for the hidden messages about trust and obedience.

In the following passage, the princess follows a magic thread that her "great-great-grandmother" has said will always lead to her and safety, but which takes the princess into the dark passages at the heart of a mountain.

But presently she came to a huge heap of stones, piled in a slope against the wall of the cavern. On these she climbed, and soon recovered the level of the thread only however to find, the next moment, that it vanished through the heap of stones, and left her standing on it, with her face to the solid rock. For one terrible moment she felt as if her grandmother had forsaken her. ... She threw herself upon the heap, and began to cry. ... At length the thought struck her that at least she could follow the thread backwards, and thus get out of the mountain, and home. She rose at once, and found the thread. But the instant she tried to feel it backwards, it vanished from her touch. Forwards, it led her hand up to the heap of stones - backwards it seemed nowhere. ... She burst into a wailing cry, and again threw herself down on the stones.

In his talk Praying our Fears Tim Keller uses the princess's story as an illustration of obedience in the face of fear. When the princess follows her grandmother's thread, it leads her into dark places and she's tempted to go back; but when she tries to go back, the thread disappears.

When God calls us to obey, there are only 2 possible responses: obedience, which is hard; and disobedience, which is impossible. Obedience may seem to take us into danger, but backwards lies disaster: and so we face our fear and go forward.

That was just to whet your appetite! Tomorrow I'd like to follow up on last week's post and share what I learned from Tim Keller's talk on fear.

Tim Keller Praying your tears

I'd like to tell you about two great talks I listened to recently: Praying our Tears and Praying our Fears by Tim Keller. They're both free online, and are part of a series on the Psalms about responding to our feelings. Today I'll tell you about the one on tears; next time, the one on fears.

I love the Psalms! It seems that every emotion I've ever felt is expressed there, ready to be prayed to God. Sometimes I feel like getting older is just working through the Psalms, one emotion at a time!

There's no better guide to what to do with our feelings before God than the Psalms. I like Tim Keller's way of putting it: that the Psalms teach us a gospel third way of responding to our emotions.

1. Many Christians are uncomfortable with feelings, so we deny and suppress them.
2. The world tells us that we need to acknowledge, express and follow our feelings, so we vent and dump them.
3. The Psalms give us a gospel third way of responding to our emotions: to pray our feelings.

But what about suffering? How do we pray our tears? How do we use them to soften, rather than harden our hearts? Here's what Keller says. I've included a few quotes: they're wonderful, so take the time to read them. I know they'll live on in my heart and mind for a long time.

1. Expect tears
I'm often surprised when I suffer. Isn't God good? Isn't he supposed to protect me? What have I done to deserve this?! But I should expect to suffer more as I become more like Jesus. If I don't expect tears, I'll always be crying about two things instead of one. "You're weeping about the thing that made you weep, and you're weeping about the weeping .... You're going to sink under that. Once thing at a time is all we can take."

2. Invest your tears
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy" (Ps 126:5-6). If a farmer leaves his seed in the shed, or dumps it all in one spot, there will be no harvest: he must sow his seed. We shouldn't deny or dump our tears, but see them as an opportunity for growth. Tears give way to joy (Ps 30:5) but they also produce joy (2 Cor 4:17). So how do we plant our tears?

3. Pray your tears
When we pour our tears into prayer, it transforms both the tears and the weeper. We should plant our tears in three things.

a. A realisation of God's grace.
We need to know before we start crying that it's safe to pour out our hearts to God. That's why the Bible includes disturbing psalms like Psalm 39, which ends "get away from me, God!" Derek Kidner says,

The very presence of such prayers in the Scripture is a witness to God's understanding. He knows how we speak when we are desperate. ... Psalm 39 shows where your deepest feelings - your anger, your tears - belong. ... Ultimately where your tears belong is not managed or packaged or manicured in some little confessional prayer. They belong in pre-reflective outbursts from the depths of your being in the very presence of God. ... "I want you to speak and feel in my presence. It's safe. I understand what it's like to be desperate. ... I'm a God of grace. I understand."

b. A vision of the cross.
God understands our desperation because Jesus experienced desolation. Jesus cried, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" and found heaven empty, so that when we cry "Turn your face away!" God won't abandon us (Ps 39:13, Matt 27:46).

When I look to the cross, I can suffer without guilt, for I know God isn't punishing me because Jesus was punished instead of me. I can suffer without impatience, for I can trust that God's purposes are good even when I don't understand, just like people didn't understand the cross. I can suffer without self-pity:

Weeping is fine. Weeping and grief is fine. Weeping and disappointment is fine ... but weeping in self-pity will make you a small little person, someone who can't forgive, someone who is always feeling ill-used, someone who gets incredibly touchy and incredibly over-sensitive. ... Look at the cross and say, "... My sufferings are nothing compared to yours. If you suffered for me I can be patient with this suffering for you."

c. An assurance of his glory.
All sorrow ends in joy (Ps 126:6). The final psalms are all psalms of joy. But how does a prayer of tears become a prayer of joy? Eugene Peterson says,

What the psalms are teaching us is that all true prayer pursued far enough will become praise. Any prayer, no matter how desperate its origin, no matter how angry and fearful the experience it traverses, will become praise. It does not always get there quickly. It does not always get there easily. In fact, the trip can take a lifetime! But the end is always praise. This is not to say that other kinds of prayer are inferior to praise, but that all prayer pursued far enough becomes praise. Don't rush it. Don't try to push it. It may take years, it may take decades before certain prayers arrive at the hallelujahs of Psalm 150. Not every prayer is capped off with praise. In fact most prayers, if the psalms are a true guide, are not. But prayer is always reaching toward praise, and if pursued far enough, will arrive there.

Sometimes we're afraid to weep because we think we'll never stop weeping. But if we know that sorrow ends in joy - that sorrow produces joy - we can dare to weep. Tim Keller asks, are you happy enough to be a weeper? - to get involved in the lives of others even when it's painful? If so, there will be a harvest of joy for them and you.

He prays, "Father, make us happy enough to weep." Amen.

images are from Chapendra, IRRI Images and Jacopo Cossater from flickr

Tim Keller on idolatry

Our idols are those things we count on to give our lives meaning. They are the things of which we say, ‘I need this to make me happy’, or ‘If I don’t have this my life is worthless and meaningless.’

Tim Keller quoted in Tim Chester's You Can Change 110

image is by horizonatal.integration at flickr