my story of joy

There was a time when joy came to me as easily as falling in love. I was 15, and for the first time the wonder of God in Christ opened before me. I read the Bible like someone thirsty gulping down water. I escaped to my room to pray. I closed my eyes, and slipped into joy like a second skin.

There was a time when joy was lost to me with the suddenness of unexpected grief. I was 17, and praying felt like staring into darkness. The Bible seemed to be only dry and dusty paper. Having lost joy, I pursued emotional "experiences" instead, but they were as fleeting and meaningless as an empty look from an old boyfriend. ...

Read the rest at EQUIP book club today.

image is from stock.xchng

Martyn Lloyd Jones: the practicalities of putting off

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. (Eph 4:22-24, my emphasis)

It's all very well to say "put off" the old self and "put on" the new. How do you do it in practice? Last week I shared an excerpt from Martyn Lloyd Jones's Exposition of Ephesians where he talks about the "principle" of putting off the old self. This week, I'd like to share his "practical application", where he tells us how to put off the old self.

If you're observant, you'll notice that these"how to's" are very similar to Tim Chester's in You Can Change. Martyn Lloyd Jones's first three points are really about faith: remembering who we are in Jesus. His fourth and last are about repentance: turning from sin. His fifth point is about avoiding temptation, one of Chester's strategies for supporting faith and repentance that we'll cover later this term.

The first essential is, that we have to remind ourselves of who we are and what we are. ...
The whole art of Christian living is to know how to talk to yourself. ... A Christian is a preacher, he preaches to himself. You start your day by telling yourself, Now I am the new man, I am no longer the old man; my old man has been crucified with Christ ... It is not surprising that we fail so much. We do not start the day as we should. We groan, Here are these thoughts again, and here is the problem, another eighteen hours or so before me, what can I do? And before we realise it, we are already defeated. Let us therefore remind ourselves who we are ...

The second essential follows obviously ... We are to remind ourselves again of the nature and the character of the old life. [Eph 4:17-19, 22] ...
I suppose I have to say this more frequently than anything else in my pastoral work. People come about particular problems; they tell me that they have been praying to be delivered ... I say to them, Have you ever really looked this thing in the face? You are frightened of it, you are running away from it, you are cowering ... But now, wait a moment. Examine this thing, put it up in front of you, analyse it and dissect it, see it for what it is. That is half the battle. And then ... you will see that the whole thing must be got rid of. Look at it and face it, instead of running away from it. ...

And then there is a third point. Impress upon yourself the utter inconsistency of claiming to be a Christian but continuing to live in the old way.
So obvious, is it not? And yet how we all fail to do it! You have to ... say to yourself: ... I am being utterly inconsistent ... As a Christian ... I am saying that I am a partaker of the divine nature, that Christ died to rescue me from this present evil world, that I have been translated from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of God's dear Son. ... Is my conduct and my behaviour to be that of the old realm when I claim to belong to this new realm? [Phil 1:27] ... There are certain things that are incompatible with this new life. Put them off! Get rid of them!

But we must go on to the next step of obedience to the gospel. ... Have nothing at all to do with the works of darkness. [Eph 5:11]
Be drastic. Have no dealings at all with them. ... Watch the beginning. Have no parleying, have no discussion, have nothing at all to do with sin ... The moment you even listen to the devil you have practically gone under. If you have a discussion with him, ... you are already beaten, he will defeat you every time; he is subtle, he is clever ... If you begin to have any parleyings with sin, you are done for. ... If you are in doubt about a thing, say No! Err on that side rather than on the other. Things that are even doubtful should not be touched. [Rom 14:23]

Next we come to another positive injunction which I want to emphasise. ... Do not be fool enough to lead yourself into temptation. [Rom 13:14]
There are certain places that are bad for you - Stay out of them! ... You know beforehand that if you go in, the flesh will be stimulated. ... Therefore, never go into such a place. And not only places, but also people. ... You do not pray about this, you do not argue, you do not need special guidance about this. If experience teaches you that such a person invariably tends to have a bad influence upon you, avoid such a person. ... The same holds good with respect to reading ... So be discriminating and careful as you read ... Avoid that which tends to harm you and to drag you down. ... If there is something that is enticing, do not look at it! ... Make a covenant with your eyes, look straight on [Job 31:1, 7, Prov 4:25], do not let your eyes wander, do not let them lust after things, do not let them turn from the straight path ... : you do not merely pray about it; you must just not look! ...

And that brings me to the last principle - I have tried to put the principles in ascending order - ... mortify the flesh [Rom 8:13, Col 3:5] ...
Mortify means to deaden, it means deliberately to attack, it means to starve ... 'I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection'! [1 Cor 9:25, 27]. ... I am like a boxer, I am not beating the air, I am pummelling myself, I am hitting myself black and blue, I am giving myself black eyes; that this flesh may not get me down. I keep my body under, and bring it into subjection. ... So we not only do not make provision for the flesh, we must mortify the flesh, keep it under, keep it down, realising that unless we do so, it will get us down temporarily and we shall be living a contradictory life. ...

Put off the old man! And do it in detail. The Apostle goes on to details - lying, stealing, corrupt communications. He takes them up one by one, and he says you have to apply the principles with regard to every single item. And thus you will put off the old man that is corrupt and dying and decaying, ... that we may no longer disgrace the fair and glorious name of our blessed Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

from Martyn Lloyd Jones's comments on Ephesians 4:22-24 in his Exposition of Ephesians; longer emphases mine

images are from Hope., tilaneseven, adedip, ashley.adcox, Phil Dragash, Geekgirly, and Alva+Chien at flickr

Martyn Lloyd Jones: don't pray, put off!

A week ago I talked about how important it is that we don't just work on changing our attitudes, but also our behaviour. So I was interested to hear about a conversation my friend Jenny had a couple of weeks ago about this very topic.

One of her friends told her how helpful she'd found Martyn Lloyd Jones's reflections on Ephesians 4:22-24:

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. (Eph 4:22-24, my emphasis)

She kindly sent Martyn Lloyd Jones's commentary on these verses to me, and because it's not easy to get hold of - unless you have all 8 volumes of his Exposition of Ephesians! - I'll post an excerpt this week and next week.

You'll enjoy the story about the lady and the thunderstorms! Or you might like to print the whole quote out and reflect on it as you read the Bible sometime this week.

It is not enough just to say, Put off the old man, put on the new! ... The "putting off" is something that the Christian has to do. It is not something that is done for him. ...

Putting off the old man is not something that is to be prayed about. That sounds most unspiritual, does it not? Imagine a preacher in a Christian pulpit telling people that they are not to pray about this matter! ... Not at all, says Paul; ... put off the old man; get on with it! There is something almost violent about this; and I think it needs violence, because there is a great deal of sickly sentimentality and false piety concerning this matter, which leads certain people to live a kind of spiritual life ever in the doldrums. ...

But what if a believer talks about his lack of strength and power? The answer to that is, that as a regenerate creature, a new-born being, he has the power. If in the New Testament we are commanded to do a thing, we may rightly expect to receive from the Lord the power to do it ...

Many years ago a lady came to see me about a problem which had been crippling her life for about twenty-two years. It may sound to others a trivial thing, but it was spoiling her life. She had a phobia, a terror, a horror, of thunderstorms. She once had been in a terrible thunderstorm and thought she was going to be killed, and that had fixed on her mind. And in the end it had come to this, that if she were walking to her place of worship on a Sunday morning and happened to see a black cloud, this fear would immediately suggest a coming thunderstorm, and instead of going to church she would go home because of her fear. This phobia had taken many forms: it had prevented her doing many things she had wanted to do, and it had created difficulties in the family; one can imagine the problems that would arise. ... Well now, I said, what have you been doing about it? She replied, I have done everything I can; I have talked to all sorts of people. I said, I suppose you have prayed about it? She said, I pray and nothing else, I am always praying about it. I replied, That is probably why the problem has persisted! And I continued, What you need is not to pray, but to think! And then I simply pointed out to her what a bad testimony this was in a Christian person such as she was; had she ever thought of that? Had she ever asked herself the question, Why should I be more afraid of a thunderstorm than anybody else? If all these other people can continue their journey to a place or worship, why should not I? Why is this trouble so peculiar to myself? She had never thought of that. Instead, she had been praying sincerely and honestly, and with great intensity, for twenty-two years to be delivered from the fear of thunderstorms, but the fear remained and was increasing. ...

There are points ... about which you do not need to pray, but you do need to think and to apply the doctrine. You put off the old man! You need not pray for guidance about this! ... This is not a matter of praying, this is a matter of doing. And so we see that the devil in his subtlety and as an angel of light can sometimes encourage us to pray in a blind and unintelligent manner ...

Many Christians are familiar with the teaching which says ... 'Let go and let God!' ... and there are people who have been trying to practise it. But they have not been delivered from their troubles. They may have had temporary deliverance while they were in meetings, but the trouble comes back again ...

You do not ask God to take the old man from you, you put him off! ... We do not just wait passively, or relax and expect it to be accomplished for us. Not at all! Put off! Stop doing certain things ... If you and I are born again, the Spirit of God and of Christ is in us, the Holy Spirit is in us, the power is there. And we have to realise this, and in the strength of divine might and power we act, we do this thing. ...

You have got to do it, and I have got to do it; it is not done for us; evil is not all taken out of us in a marvellous, thrilling experience ... And it is to be done through the Spirit ... ; ... in his power ... Such is the Christian! ... Put off the old man!

All very well! But how do you do this in practice? Next week, I'll share Martyn Lloyd Jones's practical suggestions for putting off the old self. If you'd like to see the full excerpt, please contact me.

images are from Hope.*, nicky.reynolds, rachel titriga and thescotty from flickr, except for image of lightning, which is from stock.xchng

how we change (7) what truths do you need to turn to?

Here's where it gets exciting. Let me introduce you to what I call "the 4 Gs". For me, the 4 Gs are the highlight of Tim Chester's You Can Change, and I'm not alone: my friend, whose life was turned upside down by God through this book, turns to the 4 Gs every day. Here they are:

1. God is great – so we don’t have to be in control
2. God is glorious – so we don’t have to fear others
3. God is good – so we don’t have to look elsewhere
4. God is gracious – so we don’t have to prove ourselves

Easy to remember, bursting with the conviction of God's loving sovereignty, full of hope: I turn to the 4 Gs every time I feel anxious, overwhelmed, depressed, discouraged, or guilty. Every time I'm tempted to value the praise of others over the praise of God. Every time I'm tempted to put my hope in possessions, pleasure, or relationships. Every time I'm tempted to prove myself through my perfectionism.

Why is it so important to turn to God's truth when we're tempted? Because every sin begins with a lie (Rom 1:25, Heb 3:12-14). You can't sin unless you believe happiness is found in something other than God. You can't worry unless you forget God's wise sovereignty over your life. You can't despair unless you doubt the love of the One who sent his Son to die for you.

I love how Chester puts it: our sin lies in the gap between "confessional faith" (what we say in church on Sundays) and "functional disbelief" (what we do and feel on Mondays). "We can sin only if we suffer from a radical loss of perspective. Only if we forget that God is great and good can we sin."

If sin begins with a lie, the cure is faith: believing the truth about God and the gospel. When the Bible talks about change, it begins with the gospel transforming our minds: "be made new in the attitude of your minds", "set your hearts" and "minds on things above" (Rom 12:1-2, Eph 4:22-24, Col 3:1-4, Heb 12:1). As we fill our minds with God's truth from his word, it burrows its way deep into us and transforms our emotions and choices.

One of the things which fascinates me about this cure - the idea that change comes as we turn from our wrong beliefs to the truth - is that it's as old as the psalms, and as new as the methods of modern psychologists.

It's as new as modern psychology. Cognitive behavioural therapy, the method now used most widely for treating anxiety and depression, is just a secular form of turning from wrong beliefs to more "realistic" interpretations of our circumstances.

Psychologists recognise that what causes my emotions and behaviour isn't ultimately my circumstances, but how I interpret my circumstances: "No-one will ever love me. I'm worth nothing if he rejects me. I can't cope if that happens." The alternate thoughts they offer are void of God, but they imitate sanctified wisdom: "It doesn't matter what people think of me. This feeling won't last forever. There will be other opportunities."

As Christians, we'll turn not only to common-sense and wisdom, but more importantly, we'll turn to truths about God: "What matters is what God thinks of me, and he loves me and sees me as perfect in Jesus. God's promises are more reliable than my feelings. My loving Father is in control of my circumstances." Alison Payne says that You Can Change “is like cognitive behaviour therapy driven by the gospel and the character of God.”

This cure is also as ancient as the Psalms. Listen to the Psalmists as they argue themselves out of fear, doubt and despondency and into trust and hope in God:

The LORD is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? ...
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God ...
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; ... he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. ...
Has God forgotten to be merciful? ... To this I will appeal: ... I will remember the deeds of the LORD ...
Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
(Ps 27:1, 42:5, 62:5-6, 77:9-12, 103:1-2)

Can you hear them arguing, begging, pleading with themselves? Can you hear them taking their glooms and fears and beating them into submission with the weapon of God's truth? Can you hear them turning their anxiety into trust and their joy into praise?

The same cure has been handed down through the ages by wise Christian writers and preachers like the Puritans and Charles Spurgeon. Who could forget the words of Martyn Lloyd-Jones:

I say that we must talk to ourselves instead of allowing ‘ourselves’ to talk to us! … You have to take yourself in hand, you have to address yourself, preach to yourself, question yourself. ... And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and what God is and what God has done, and what God has pledged himself to do. Then having done that, end on this great note: defy yourself, and defy other people, and defy the devil and the whole world, and say with this man: ‘I shall yet praise Him.’ (Spiritual Depression pp.20-21.)

God's truth - his word and gospel - is our greatest weapon. Let's take the great truths about God - that he is great, glorious, good and gracious - and preach them to our souls. Let's believe God's word instead of our feelings and sinful desires. Let's take the gospel and dwell on it until it lives in our minds and hearts. Only then will true change become possible - change from the inside out.

For reflection:
When you struggle, what lies are you believing? What truths about God and the gospel could you turn to?

It might help to draw up a thought chart. You'll need 4 columns: 1 = situation, 2 = moods and actions, 3 = thoughts, 4 = thoughts and actions based on God's truth. In the 1st write what situation you were in when you struggled with a particular emotion or sinful behaviour. In the 2nd write what you were feeling and what you did. In the 3rd write the thoughts that were going through your head at the time. You might like to circle the "hot thought" - the one which was most strongly connected to what you felt or what you did. In the 4th write out new ways of thinking based on truths about God and the gospel, and on common-sense and wisdom; and some new ways of acting which will support these beliefs. If you'd like to see a worked example, please contact me.

If you'd like to see or use my seminar How Change Happens, which is based on Tim Chester's You Can Change, please contact me.

Tim Chester quotes are from chapter 5 of You Can Change

images are from Giampaolo Macorig, Leo Reynolds, LU5H.bunny, twenty_questions and Dimi15 from flickr; second last image is from stock.xchng; used with permission

quote of the week: Christian self-talk?

Psychologists now think the solution to depression is not drugs, but changing the way you think. Or so Dorothy Rowe claimed in an article I was reading the other day.

"Instead of constantly criticising, praise and encourage yourself. You'll need to confront the events that occurred just before you became depressed. You blamed yourself and inadvertently created the prison of depression. There is a key to this prison: accepting and valuing yourself, and accepting the natural uncertainty of life."

Self-talk was around a long time before modern psychology. But the content was a little different: honest wrestling with God about one's despair, and arguing oneself into faith. Read Psalm 42. Read the Puritans. Read Martyn Lloyd-Jones.

And learn to speak God's word into your soul:

I say that we must talk to ourselves instead of allowing ‘ourselves’ to talk to us! Do you realize what that means? … Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them but they are talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc. Somebody is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you. Now this man’s treatment [in Psalm 42] was this: instead of allowing this self to talk to him, he starts talking to himself. “Why art thou cast down, O my soul?” he asks. His soul had been depressing him, crushing him. So he stands up and says: “Self, listen for a moment, I will speak to you.” …

The main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself. You have to take yourself in hand, you have to address yourself, preach to yourself, question yourself. You must say to your soul: ‘Why art thou cast down’ – what business have you to be disquieted? You must turn on yourself, upbraid yourself, condemn yourself, exhort yourself, and say to yourself: ‘Hope thou in God’ – instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way. And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and what God is and what God has done, and what God has pledged himself to do. Then having done that, end on this great note: defy yourself, and defy other people, and defy the devil and the whole world, and say with this man: ‘I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance, who is also the health of my countenance and my God.’

The long quote is from Martyn Lloyd-Jones Spiritual Depression pp.20-21. The short quote is from Dorothy Rowe's article in Sunday Life, 29th June 2008; I've taken out some words for readability, but not changed the meaning. The picture is from stock.xchng.