my favourite Christian reads in 2013

What were my favourite reads in 2013? I'm sure you want to know!

Or, at least, Eternity Newspaper wanted to know. So I wrote this. (You can read the whole article - with some great recommendations by others - here.)

I've added one book to the end, because I've wanted to encourage you to read it for years.

Timothy Keller King's Cross
Every year, I read a book on the cross or God's character, slowly and prayerfully, week by week, on my mornings off. This year, I enjoyed Tim Keller's King's Cross (also called Jesus the King). It bears all the hallmarks of his style: it's richly written, profoundly wise, culturally engaging, and deals with familiar themes like idolatry and the trinity. Every chapter brought me face-to-face with Jesus, to be moved, challenged and changed by him. This book deserves to become a classic. It will make a great gift for both believers and unbelievers.

Joni Eareckson Tada and Steven Estes When God Weeps 
There's a point in suffering when you can read books on the topic again. My son has been chronically ill for several years now, and I reached that point about 6 months ago. In the pages of When God Weeps I found wisdom, solace, courage and hope. The writing is colorful and honest, with a blend of Joni's long experience and Steven's tight theology (though I didn't agree at all points). There are terrific reflections on God's character, avoiding bitterness, and hell. As I read the final chapter on heaven, I found myself in tears. This is the perfect book to give someone going through a time of trial.

David Helm One to One Bible Reading
Only 100 pages long, this is a top-of-the-list ministry resource. How does God change lives? Through his word. How can we be involved? By reading the Bible with a friend. Who could benefit? Anyone, Christian or non-Christian, mature or new to the faith. It's that simple; but it can sound intimidating. David Helm first inspires us, and then introduces tools like the Swedish method and COMA, easy-to-use methods that require only an open Bible. I've led one training seminar based on this book, and will continue to put it into the hands of those I teach and train.

Paul David Tripp Lost in the Middle
I'm tempted to review this book without the title. You don't have to be middle aged to struggle with issues like regret, disappointment, loss of identity, the collapse of dreams, and the transience of life. This book helped me at a time when I was questioning many things about myself and the direction I was going in. It's the best book I've read to come out of the biblical counselling movement; almost a handbook of the big issues we're likely to face in life. I'd like to put this book on my "top reads" for every Christian. Whatever your age, I invite you to read it: you're in for a treat.

watching my daughter grow (listening to Slipping through my fingers)

Five months ago, my 12-year-old daughter had her first day at high school. It seemed she walked out the door a child and returned a teenager.

It happened so suddenly that it left me breathless, my rosy ideals replaced with the reality of a growing relationship. I spent a term grieving the loss of my little girl (how did she grow up so quickly? Why didn't I hug her more when I had the chance?). I love the new Lizzy - bursting with happiness and friends and independence and new experiences - but it's felt at times like I've been left on the platform while she's boarded the train.

One day earlier this year, I poured my sense of loss into a blog post that I never published, because I didn't want to trespass on my daughter's privacy. But I heard a song on the weekend which expresses it perfectly. It's from ABBA's final album The Visitors, and it's called Slipping throughmy fingers. For copyright reasons, I can't post the lyrics here; but if you get a chance, listen to it.

The song says it all: the feeling of guilt over all the opportunities for time spent together that I let slip by, the inability to truly enter my daughter's world and know what's going on in her mind, the 'absent-minded smile' as she leaves the house each morning, schoolbag in hand.

Of course, this isn't just a time of loss. It's not a time for passive acceptance of any increased distance between us, or decreased influence in her life. It's a time of opportunity: a time for new conversations and ways of relating, as I help my daughter grow into the woman God wants her to be. We're enjoying reading Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Whitacre's Girl Talk, and I've been helped by Paul Tripp's Age of Opportunity.

My mother taught me not to dread the teen years, but to welcome the opportunities they bring. I watch my daughter and pray that God will go with her into the places I can't, that he will give her wisdom and courage and love for him, that I won't forget my continuing responsibility to love, teach and train her, and that I'll know when it's time to pursue her and when it's time to let her go.

image is by Markus Bollingmo from flickr

how we change (2) overview

I've grown more during the last 12 months than I remember growing during the 12 years before that. I'm sure this isn't true! - I know how God has used motherhood, temptation and suffering to refine me - but that's what it feels like.

I've learnt so much about God's grace and how it changes our hearts.

Blogging and a return to ministry after years of baby-care has brought many issues to the surface, like pride, perfectionism and people-pleasing. At times I've felt overwhelmed by anxiety, stress and discouragement, which has forced me to dig deeper into the gospel.

The other catalyst for change, under God's mercy, has been the books I've read. Martyn Lloyd-Jones helped me remember the Puritans' wisdom about preaching to myself. Ed Welch's books and talks unearthed the issues beneath my addictions, fear, legalism and people-pleasing. Tim Lane and Paul Tripp encouraged me to grow in the heat of suffering. Elyse Fitzpatrick, my sister in Christ, has walked beside me through struggles with greed and worry. Tim Chester's You Can Change brought it all into clear focus.*

What has affected me so profoundly? Two truths that I already knew:

• that below every sin are the lies and idols of my wayward heart
• that only the grace of God in Christ and the work of his Spirit, not rules and programs, can change my heart and transform my life

Really, it's no more than God's age-old key to change:

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. (Col 2:6-7)

I like the structure of You Can Change, so as we explore how God changes us through his grace, it's this structure that we'll be following (with a couple of detours, I'm sure!). Here's the topics he covers:

1. What would you like to change?
2. Why would you like to change?
3. How are you going to change?
4. When do you struggle?
5. What truths do you need to turn to?
6. What desires do you need to turn from?
7. What stops you changing?
8. What strategies will reinforce your faith and repentance?
9. How can we support one another in changing?
10. Are you ready for a lifetime of daily change?

Nicole has already blogged her way through You Can Change, and as always, her blog posts are thoughtful and helpful, so I won't double up. I'll share with you the personal story of how this book has shaped my thinking and life. I've just written and led a seminar on this material, so some reflections from my seminar will make it into these posts. Along the way, I'll include insights from writers like Tim Keller and Elyse Fitzpatrick.

Please join me on the great adventure of digging deep into the grace of God and how it changes our hearts.

* The books which have had a big impact on me include Martyn Lloyd-Jones's Spiritual Depression, Ed Welch's Running Scared, When People Are Big and God is Small, Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave and Issues in Biblical Counselling, Tim Lane and Paul Tripp's How People Change, Elyse Fitzpatrick's Idols of the Heart, Overcoming Fear, Worry and Anxiety and Love to Eat, Hate to Eat, and Tim Chester's You Can Change.

If you'd like to see or use my seminar, How Change Happens, please contact me.

images are from stock.xchng

Paul Tripp on grace

There really is no place for Christ in many people’s Christianity. Their faith is not actually in Christ; it is in Christianity and their ability to live it out. This kind of ‘Christianity’ is really about shadow glories of human knowledge and performance. It does not require the death to self that must always happen if love for Christ is going to reign in our hearts.

Paul David Tripp A Quest for More 106 HT Of First Importance

image is by anadelmann at flickr