give me a broken heart that yet carries home the water of grace

This is one of the beautiful quotes from one of my favourite newly-discovered blogs, Georgianne. 

O changeless God,

Under the conviction of thy Spirit I learn that
the more I do, the worse I am,
the more I know, the less I know,
the more holiness I have, the more sinful I am,
the more I love, the more there is to love...

My mind is a bucket without a bottom,
always at the gospel-well but never holding water.

My conscience is without conviction or contrition,
with nothing to repent of.

My will is without power of decision or resolution.

My heart is without affection,
and full of leaks.

My memory has no retention,
so I forget easily the lessons learned,
and thy truths seep away.

Give me a broken heart that yet carries home
the water of grace.


From The Valley of Vision.

online meanderings - ordinariness, self-image, suffering and other stuff

This week, I enjoyed

Singleness and searching for your "mythos" - Another bittersweet post by Ali. *sigh* I could read her all day.

How can I love seven billion neighbours? - part 1 and part 2 - Really helpful stuff from Tim Chester.

Reality "snapshot" of mission teams - A fascinating description of the good and bad of mission teams by Steve (see also 10 things to remember after a Summer mission trip). HT Justin Taylor.

I was encouraged by

Nine good purposes in our suffering - Rebecca shares some reflections on the purpose in suffering.

An ordinary podcast - Feeling ordinary? "God’s will for me, and indeed for most of us, is to be extraordinarily ordinary." Challies.

Jesus chooses and uses failures - Feeling like a failure? A beautiful post by Jon Bloom.

Concept of self - A helpful post from Rachael on self-image and beauty.

I was challenged by

A heart of hospitality - "We practice hospitality because we have first received hospitality." Sounds about right to me! From Nicole.

Wealth, privacy, relationships - Cathy talks about the link between wealth and community.

A passing thought on receiving criticism from Dane (HT Challies)

Darrin Patrick on being and building men -"When you become a leader...you plug your life into an amplifier and everyone hears it." "You have to have some guys who aren’t impressed with you. You need elders who tell you no." Shared by Jonathon Parnell.

and I'd now like to

watch this free online production of Hamlet that finally makes sense, says Justin Taylor

give to my kids - and read myself - this history of the whole world recommended by Justin Taylor

regularly read the The Journal of Biblical Counselling, now free online

check out the bookish blog Sarah's postcardsnaps (thanks Jenny)

read along with the series Gospel-centred Life: "This month is a little different for EQUIP bookclub as we’re looking at three books instead of one. While we’ll focus on Gospel-centred Life, we’ll also be road-testing Gospel-centred Family and having a brief look at Gospel-centred Marriage." Fantastic, short, very readable books. Bring it on!

online meanderings - failure, singleness, love and other stuff

There was much wealth this week on the internet. Much that encouraged me and made me think. Comfort in failure and in sorrow. Gold. (And a lot of Challies.)

On loving and speaking.

How do you love the way Jesus loves? - The very question I've been asking about the year ahead. I'm adding this to my reading list. A book by Phil Ryken reviewed by Justin Taylor.

Evangelism uncomplicated - Cathy says lots of things about relaxing into evangelism - things I'm finding to be true in my own life.

On sorrow, discouragement and failure.

Looking forward - I love the way Amy writes. I love this post. Hope expressed in small things, in the face of sorrow.

Crushed (written)/(podcast) - Challies talks honestly about his struggle with pride and failure when his sermons, books and blog posts don't measure up to his standards, or to others' achievements. How comforting it is to know that I am not alone! - and that "all is well with my soul".

Post prayer satanic whispers - A truly helpful post for all who feel discouraged about their prayers (hands up, everyone!) by David Murray. HT Challies.

Self-centredness in woundedness - "'Woundedness’ is compounded self-doubt and guilt, resentment and disillusionment...As badly wounded as persons may be, the resulting self-absorption of the human heart was not caused by the mistreatment. It was only magnified and shaped by it.'" A really helpful post by Ali quoting a chapter from the Keller's book on marriage.

On failure in parenting.

For parents who have failed - Such comfort! "Even if we haven’t gotten it all right, even if we’ve trained little Pharisees or have a house full of prodigals." We've got both kinds. We are both kinds. But we have God's grace. From Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson's Give Them Grace via Justin Taylor.

Parents beware: Proverbs are not promises - Why we can't assume that because the kids turn out badly, the parents have done a lousy job. David Mathis quotes Richard Pratt HT Challies (yes, that's another 4-way link.)

On the related topic of raising boys.

Raising boys: A pep talk on The Talk - Jeff Robinson discusses a book which looks worth reading: Time for The Talk: Leading Your Son Into True Manhood (Shepherd Press) by Steve Zollos.

CS Lewis on "little cyclones" (young boys) - Now I know why I'm sometimes (often!) so tired. The main refrain of our holidays: "Quieten down! GO OUTSIDE!". Tony HT Challies.

On singleness.

How to serve "the singles" in the local church - A very helpful article by Carolyn McCulley.

On communication: oral, written and technological.

A short history of communication - "In an oral culture...word-for-word accuracy was less important than thought-for-thought accuracy." Challies answers a question I have long had about the differences between the gospels.

Empty minds, empty hearts, empty lives - “We are becoming symbiotic with our computer tools...The experience of losing our Internet connection becomes more and more like losing a friend.' ...What we are seeing is the death of memory." Challies is helpful, as always, when discussing the impact of technology on memory and friendship.

On humanity.

Pondering Psalm 139 - Ashley, a woman with a disability, writes, "I believe with every fiber of my being that I was no accident...My heart grieves for the little ones gone and the mothers and fathers who never held their tiny bodies or kissed their sweet new skin. No earthly thing can fill a chasm so deep as a child lost. The grace of the cross, though, is a greater thing than the weight of our sin, and redeeming love awaits us all."

Where does blackness and whiteness come from? - "The genetic difference between blacks, whites, browns, etc. is so marginal that we’re left to affirm Acts 17:26: 'He made from one blood all nations of men.'”

In China, human costs are built into an iPad - The human cost of our toys. (The last three are all HT Challies.)

On everything.

Nothing nothing - This quote keeps popping into my mind. I used it to discuss the existence of God with my eight-year-old just the other day. "The first basic answer is that everything that exists has come out of absolutely nothing...Now, to hold this view, it must be absolutely nothing. It must be what I call nothing nothing. It cannot be nothing something or something nothing." Francis Shaeffer quoted by Challies.

And just for fun.

A rap for crochet - For my friend Jenny, crochet-er extraordinaire. Well done, Ali! But when do I get mine?

I must write something again some time - Please do, Meredith! (But only if you're putting your family and other relationships first, and have fulfilled all your primary responsibilities, and aren't just doing it out of people-pleasing, and, and, and... :) )

online meanderings - friendship, life, socks and other stuff

This week, I was encouraged in my Christian life,

On reading the word of God - Ally gives a wonderful summary of, and link to, a talk on Psalm 119:1-40 about why we should read the Bible. Pure gold!

Putting the "Christian" in Christian friendship - "To make their welfare of higher interest than our own." A description of Christian friendship by Jonathon Parnell from Romans 15:2.

Don't be afraid to pray whatever it takes - Jon Bloom says, "we should plead for the discipline" that helps us to grow.

and helped in my marriage.

Don't take it from me: Reasons you should not marry an unbeliever - Kathy Keller, wife of Tim Keller, gives some helpful suggestions for counselling Christians who are considering marrying unbelievers.

A picture perfect marriage I, II and III - A great mini-series by Challies on marriage. To husbands: "Do you have that picture in your mind, of your bride, your wife, standing there before the Lord, washed clean of every trace of sin? Fix that in your mind because God calls you to help her get there!" (See also Mutual submission, on Ephesians 5:18-21.)

I read some great answers to serious questions about pornography,

Should I marry a man with pornography struggles? - An excellent answer to a difficult question from Russell Moore - and a great description of godly manhood. HT Challies

You just caught your son in [viewing] porn. What do you do? - A very helpful article by Rick Thomas about what to do if you discover, for example, that your teenage son has been sneaking out of bed to view porn. HT Challies.

and was reminded that life is worth fighting for.

Five things we can do for the unborn - John Piper: "If you could see each little handiwork of God and what it looks like when it is being crushed or poisoned or starved, you would say, this can't be happening! Civilized people do not do this! The children will not be saved and God's work will not be reverenced without an act of sustained sympathetic imagination. Otherwise it is out of sight, out of mind — just like Dachau, Buchenwald, Belsen, and Auschwitz. It just couldn't be happening. And so we act as if it isn't."

The child fashion model with down syndrome - Amazing - and wonderful. By Joe Carter.

The authentic feminism of Melinda Tankard Rice, Sisterhood beware - silencing ideas silences protest, Why being Christian gets you crucified - Three articles defending anti-porn, pro-life activist Melinda Tankard Rice against the abuse she has suffered for her views. HT Nicole

I was inspired by a moving story,

Bittersweet - Amy's post about her sister's lost fight with breast cancer and about our very good God, who answers prayer.

intrigued by a helpful new series,

How to stay Christian in seminary - A new series about how not to end up at theology college less Christ-centred than when you started.

and amused and comforted about my "failures" in memory and motherhood.

Wordsmithy (book review) - "The fact that you can’t remember things doesn’t mean that you haven’t been shaped by them." Well, that's a relief! A quote from Douglas Wilson's Wordsmithy, a book on writing reviewed by Challies.

I get a kind of guilty pleasure from reading about the so-called "failures" of other mums. Not sure if I should! But I identified with these: Amy's A thirsty person shouldn't drink salt water (I loved the bits about the sock drawer and sleeping in school uniform!) and Jenny's If I was a proper mother (I, too, feel great pressure to shop at Aldi and markets - and, instead, guiltily do a one-stop-shop at Coles).

Finally, I was reminded why the cross was necessary.

God, man and the atonement - "When...we have glimpsed the blinding glory of the holiness of God, and have been so convicted of our sin by the Holy Spirit that we tremble before God and acknowledge what we are, namely ‘hell–deserving sinners’, then and only then does the necessity of the cross appear so obvious that we are astonished we never saw it before." From John Stott's The Cross of Christ, quoted in Of First Importance

online meanderings - resolutions, praying with kids, unexciting sermons, and other stuff

I don't do a lot of online reading. Usually, I stick to a few favourite blogs. But this year, I'd like to try reading a bit more widely, and share the fruits of my labour with you (with apologies to Nicole, who already does a great job of this!).

Here are some of the most encouraging posts I've read this last week (although some have been on the internet for longer than that!). There are a few extra this week because I'm catching up.

Praying for your children - Ever wondered what to pray with your children? I love this prayer for boys - a great summary of godly manhood! - from Darrin Patrick.

How to get more Scripture - Jess gives some helpful suggestions for mums who struggle to find time to read the Bible.

Resolved by the grace of God - Burk Parsons explains how to make your New Year's resolutions sensible, dependent, humble and Christ-centred. HT Sandy.

Read the Bible in a year - Rachael talks about the thematic Bible reading plan she's using - the same one my mum is using on her iPhone YouVersion app! It looks so good I want to try it myself.

On doing ordinary things - Challies explains why not every sermon can be exciting; read this next time you feel like whining (listeners) or giving up (preachers).

10 years on - Jenny talks about why 10 years of being a minister's wife makes you less judgemental.

Into the light- Carolyn McCulley shares a sobering story about why we shouldn't hide our sin from one another.

Healthy sexuality - Challies' very useful list of good books on sexuality.

Grace-motivated dieting - Mike Cosper talks about dieting, and how to know when it is - or isn't -gospel-centred.

Mercy Teams - Ali explains why short term missions are worth it. HT Challies

Finally, three great quotes shared by Justin Taylor. Here are some teasers (click on the link for the rest):

How to Influence a Younger Christian - Don Carson: “Do you ever say to a young Christian, ‘Do you want to know what Christianity is like? Watch me!’ If you never do, you are unbiblical".

Packer: Why we should meditate on the four gospels more than any other book - JI Packer: "Some Christians seem to prefer the epistles as if this were a mark of growing up spiritually; but really this attitude is a very bad sign."

The most riveting description of the goal of Christian living I've ever read - BB Warfield:" We cannot be self-consciously self-forgetful, selfishly unselfish." Why holiness is about love, not self-improvement.

how you can use in all honesty

Tomorrow will be my last post on in all honesty for a while. I'm taking a break to work out whether this is how God wants me to use my time. My husband Steve has long service leave next year: a wonderful opportunity to rest, recover and reflect on what God wants from me.

Normally, I'd post from the archives while I'm away, but I won't be doing that this time. I need a complete break! But please feel free to dig around in the archives. If you scroll down the right column of my blog, you can see I've indexed everything pretty thoroughly. Browse through the topics as much as you like!

Every now and again, someone writes and asks if they can print something from in all honesty to share with others. I'm always surprised and encouraged when this happens! Here's some ways you've used in all honesty:

• you've printed a post on a particular topic to discuss in your small group
• you've shared what I've written with someone you're mentoring
• you've used ideas for Sunday School lessons or Bible studies
• you've put a post in your church's bulletin
• you've included an article in the hand-out for a women's conference or retreat.

I'm often asked about copyright. All you need to do is contact me then include something like this at the end: "This article first appeared on Jean Williams' blog in all honesty (http://jeaninallhonesty.blogspot.com/) and is reprinted with permission."

If it's something I wrote for Sola Panel or The Briefing, you'll need to include something like this: "This article first appeared on Sola Panel (http://solapanel.org/) / in The Briefing (http://www.matthiasmedia.com.au/briefing/) and is reprinted with permission from Matthias Media."

I love it when God uses what I've written to encourage others - that's why I write - so share away! Just contact me and tell me about it - you'll make my day!

image is from stock.xchng

grumbling vs lament

Following up on yesterday's post, here's a great link (thanks Anna!) to a blog post about complaining:

Grumbling and lament: how to complain faithfully.

It's really good reading. I know I'll be returning to it.

some poems from Ali

If you like poetry even just a very little bit, you'll enjoy these three poems from Ali:

The Trees are Down
In the Fields
No Road

When it comes to poetry, I am a bear of little brain, but I love these poems (we must have similar taste, which is probably no great compliment to Ali!). I especially love the poem about the cutting down of trees, which reminds me of Tolkien and Robert Frost.

I've just added Ali's blog to the (very very short list) of blogs on my task bar (if yours isn't on there, it's not that I'm not reading it, it's just that these are the ones I check more regularly at the moment).

Thanks, Ali.

no more key to the door

A very sad day but I totally get it, Meredith! Thank you so much for all the thoughtful, godly reflections, and for your example of godliness in knowing when it's time to stop.

online meanderings: The Best Book Co-op

Today I want to point you in the direction of another blog, called The Best Book Co-op. In this blog, Cathy McKay generously gives us the fruit of her thorough, thoughtful, personal study of God's word. On occasion, she's said things which have dug so deeply into me that I've printed them out so I can reflect on them further.

Really, this blog is not about Cathy at all, although she humbly shares her struggles in it - it's about God and his word. It's written by a woman who clearly loves God's word and loves sharing its riches with others. It's one of the most self-effacing blogs I've ever read. It's just Cathy opening up the Bible with us, so that God's Spirit can speak his word more powerfully into our hearts.

This blog would be a wonderful aid for your daily Bible reading! If you're struggling to keep your Bible reading fresh, why not print out Cathy's reflections on James or the Psalms, or read them on line, and open up God's word with her.

online meanderings: balancing ministry inside and outside the home

I love this timely reminder from Amy that a woman's highest calling is not to be a wife and mother - worth remembering as we chat about homemaking!

All women should NOT aspire to be a wife and mother. Instead, all women should aspire to present their bodies a living sacrifice to the Lord. God is glorified in us when we are satisfied with His will for our lives. This is why some marry, some stay single, some have children, and some are barren. Glorify God in your present circumstance, the one you are in right now, not in a future marriage that may or may not happen. ... The one who loves the Lord with her whole heart, soul, and mind—she is the one who pleases God. This is the good news– that no matter who you are, what you’re doing, or where you’re at—that faith in God and the work of His son Jesus Christ pleases Him. ... Being a wife and mother is a good and noble thing, but it is not the highest thing.

Homemaking is part of God's big vision for the world. A big vision which has a profound impact on our mothering and homemaking, and on how we use home and motherhood as a basis for reaching out to others (see Nicole's current series on missional motherhood). As women working in a small sphere, let's never forget the big picture:

These particular instructions to women in Titus 2:3-5 are meant to sail on an ocean of general instruction given in the Bible for all of us as Christians: without an awareness of that big ocean of the Bible's teaching about Jesus and the kingdom of God, the Titus 2 boat can end up bobbing around harmlessly and inoffensively in the backyard swimming pool of suburban materialism, going nowhere.

As for me, I seem to have stunned you all into silence with my question yesterday about the balance between ministry inside and outside the home! Actually, I think those of you with something to say, who like to say things on line (which isn't all of you, I know that, and I've heard from some of you in person) have already said it, and very well too. Have a look at these wonderful responses to the question of the balance between homemaking and ministry from Bec and Valeri.

Anyone else with ideas to add, please go for it - I'd love to hear from you. I'd particularly like to hear any personal stories of how it looks in practice for you, whatever your situation! At this time of year, we're all making plans for next year, so it's a good time to be thinking through these issues.

online meanderings and resources: parenting

While we're on the topic of loving our children, here's some useful posts and resources on parenting and motherhood I've come across during the last few months.

In Nicole's discussion of chapter 3 of Feminine Appeal at EQUIP book club, she gives some helpful observations about viewing our children as a joy, not a burden, and about showing love for our children through discipline.

Here's some of Nic's other posts on parenting which I enjoyed: finding joy in the drudgery, praying with children, the benefits of sending kids to a local school, and caring for kids when they are sick.

Prue encourages us to remember the value of motherhood (it's always good to have a reminder!).

Jess, as always, gives us plenty of thoughtful, practical suggestions: see train them until you like them, managing time with 4 young children, and an alternative to parenting psychobabble.

We could all do with help as we teach our children about God. Covenant Fellowship Church give some great suggestions for family worship when you have little children involved. And here's a couple of useful posts on choosing a children's Bible. Those of you who are new to this blog might also enjoy my posts on children's Bibles and teaching theology to your kids.

But sometimes kids don't seem all that responsive to God's truth. Here's an encouragement from GirlTalk on persevering in teaching kids about God. I also liked their post on singing to your kids.

I like what Gordon wrote on teaching kids about the Trinity; Craig on how to bring your kids to faith; and Challies on how he made his children cry.

There have been plenty of great reflections on parenting at the father's business, including thinking of kids as a blessing, caring for other people's kids in our community, teaching kids to persevere in the face of trials, talking with your kids about death, and when kids blame others.

Because we're all sinners as well as parents, I loved this post on dealing with the gap between what you say and what you do.

And here's a little glimpse from Ali into the life of children of the olden days.

As for talks on the subject of parenthood and motherhood, can I suggest you listen to Carolyn Mahaney's A Mother's Responsibility, which I enjoyed more, and found far more comprehensive, than her talk Loving Your Children in her series To Teach what is Good.

If you want to do some reading, here's some parenting books I've been enjoying:
Tedd Tripp Shepherding a Child's Heart
Tedd and Margy Tripp Instructing a Child's Heart
Tedd Tripp Age of Opportunity (on parenting teenagers)
Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Whitacre Girl Talk (on raising girls, written to be read with teenagers, but good for mothers of daughters of all ages)

online meanderings: supporting those who grieve

What age is best for your child to die? It seems an absurd question. The answer could be equally absurd. Perhaps the best time is within the first week of birth, or even during birth: you couldn't possibly have bonded that soon. Maybe it'd be better before two years of age: you could enjoy their laughter for a while and they'd be too young to understand. Maybe 10 years old: your son or daughter would have enjoyed a carefree childhood and not known the pains of adolescence. What about 18? They could have experienced love, maybe sex, part-time work, a bit of uni, but would be spared the burdens of adulthood. Or maybe adulthood would be best. They could have experienced all of life's ups and downs. You'd feel better then, wouldn't you?

We all know there is no 'best' age, and yet if you're unfortunate enough to experience the death of your child, there will always be someone with a cliche to 'comfort' you, or an opinion as to why it's not that bad. ...

We've made such advances in medicine. ... Children aren't supposed to die in this country ... We don't do death well in the West. Eastern cultures are more udnerstanding of the transient nature of our lives. For them it's accepted that you plan a 'good death'. Why is planning for and talking about death so taboo to us?

This is from Gail Andrew's article "Expressions of Grief" in this month's Melbourne's Child (and Sydney's Child, Perth's Child, etc.). It's by a woman whose severely disabled son died in her arms when he was 7 years old. Here's some of her observations:

• Don't deny the loss, saying things like "There are plenty of others worse off than you", "At least you have two healthy children", "She's much better off.", "It must be a relief to you. You can get on with your life now."


• Realise that anger may be part of grief: don't be offended if an angry outburst seems misdirected. Don't treat the grieving person as if they were inconsiderate or socially unacceptable if they cry or express anger.


• "It" will not be over the day or the week after the funeral. In fact, "it" will never be over. Don't expect stoic endurance, or that those grieving should get on with their lives as if nothing had happened.


• Don't ask "Do you need help?", for in the months after a death, those grieving may be numb and shocked, unable to think rationally about what they need. Just give company and practical help, like taking them fishing, or cooking them a meal.


• When a couple is grieving, it may put intense strain on their relationship, and they may not be able to comfort each other. They will need others to support them, and walk with them through their grief.


• Knowing that others feel uncomfortable with grief, will burden the grieving person with having to keep silent about their grief in order to maintain friendship. She says, "People become very distant when they are at a loss for words."


• The best thing you can do? "Many people gathered around to comfort us and carry us through the intense waves of pain ... nothing was too much trouble. A special few were able to cry with us, be angry with us, walk beside us and share our grief."


• And from another article in the same magazine: it's important to acknowledge grief. Elizabeth Quinn speaks of how she helped her friend celebrate the life of her stillborn son, who was lost and never mentioned again.

How are things different for Christians? In some ways, not at all: in the wonderful post Psalm 6: Walking with friends through grief Cathy observes that grief is a drawn-out, exhausting process, and that we shouldn't attempt to "tidy up" our grieving friends' feelings. But she also reminds us that Christians have the comfort of God's loving and sovereign care.

Cathy's friends have just lost their baby boy, and she is walking with them through grief, and looking forward to the day when every tear will be wiped from our eyes. She says of her sad, strange week, "This week isn't surprising and it doesn't have the last word. Thankyou risen King Jesus." Amen.

Abraham and Molly Piper lost baby Felicity 6 months ago. Molly has written a lot about her grief, and about how to support those who are grieving. There's a list of links to the posts she's written in how to help your grieving friend.

John Piper teaches us how to "weep with those who weep" in How can I comfort my brother whose daughter has cancer.

And there's some wonderful, practical advice in What I'd like you to know: The Mom of a child with cancer. I'd love to list all the advice she gives, but why not read it for yourself? I've made lots of the mistakes she mentions, so I found this perhaps the most useful post of all.

images are from stock.xchng

online meanderings: self-control and shopping

The topic of the moment seems to be self-control.

Not necessarily a popular topic! And what exactly does it mean? The Greek word sophron, often translated "self-control" in Titus 2:3-5, means level-headed, discrete, prudent, sober, sensible, sound minded, and thoughtful.*

Jerry Bridges puts it well:

Self-control is the exercise of inner strength, under the direction of sound judgement, that enables us to do, think, and say the things that are pleasing to God.

Last Thursday, I read Nicole's Equip Books post about the chapter on self-control in Carolyn Mahaney's Feminine Appeal. And last weekend, as I continue working my way through Mahaney's talk series on Titus 2:3-5, I listened to her talk on self-control.

It gave me a timely kick in the pants. I think we sometimes fail to call sin "sin". It becomes so very familiar to us, and the effort to fight it just seems too hard. I think I've given up a bit on the battle with gluttony; my decision to rise early to pray has only just resurfaced after a run of winter illnesses; and the struggle for self-control in my blogging and computer use is a continual battle.

But you'll notice, in Nicole's post and the comments, that there was some concern that Carolyn Mahaney didn't address self-control and shopping in her book, although she does touch on it in her talk. (Of course, there are many other areas demanding self-control - gossip, bossiness, spiritual disciplines, etc. - and she couldn't cover them all.)

Long-term readers of this blog may recall my early posts on shopping. One of my very first posts was the attack of the killer credit card, followed by the attack of the killer credit card continues, and concluded with the joy of Christmas (shopping). In June this year, reflecting on the battle, I shared 15 lessons I've learnt about self-control.

Well, I went shopping the other day. And I found that instead of filling me with temptation, the glut of products displayed on hundreds of shelves, enticingly arranged to attract wealthy first-worlders and their over-indulged children, filled me with repulsion. Which goes to show, in negative as well as positive ways, how the practice of self-control transforms our way of seeing.

Of course, now I have to struggle with the opposite temptation: to put off trips to the shops indefinitely, way past the point where my children need new socks and school pants. But I've learnt to take a detailed list on my bi-annual trips to the shops for children's clothes, and I'm even learning to stick to it.

Let's not overstate things. I still lose many a struggle with my conscience when I'm facing yet another stand of "cheap" stocking fillers at the supermarket (can't avoid supermarket shopping, can you?!). And buying books on the internet has led to a few major downfalls.

I'm still a work in progress: but there's hope, because God is the one working in me. I hold on to his promise, that "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6).

* In the small print in this post on self-control, you'll find my explanation of the various words translated "self-control" in the New Testament.

online meanderings: the high calling of motherhood

Sometimes the world of motherhood seems so small.

It doesn't help when Christians fail to see motherhood as ministry, or when society devalues motherhood and homemaking, so that stay-at-home mums are told "you're so lucky" as if they were footloose and fancy free.

Carolyn Mahaney reminds us that homemaking is not a holding pattern: "we are not simply circling the skies of life, waiting for God from His control tower to call us to real kingdom work. No, we’re doing that important work today".

(It's not only mothers who feel like they're waiting for real life to come along: the same attitude can affect childless and single women.)

Here's an encouraging quote from G.K.Chesterton, which reminds mothers of the wonder and enormity of our task:

Babies need not to be taught a trade, but to be introduced to a world. ... [Women are]generally shut up in a house with a human being at the time when he asks all the questions that there are, and some that there aren't....How can it be a large career to tell other people's children [arithmetic], and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? ... No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.

Piper also gives a global vision for motherhood in How can eternity influence a mother's daily tasks?, a post I reflected on in motherhood: a big vision. But be warned: raise your children like this, and they might declare their desire to go to Kenya when they grow up!

But how do we go about raising our children? Here's some fantastic posts on the Bible's parenting essentials: teaching children about God throughout the day; God's call to discipline your children; and encouraging and giving a good example to your children. (I'll be giving my own take on the Biblical essentials of parenting soon over at Sola Panel.)

Perhaps you'd like to read some books, or listen to some talks, to inspire you as a homemaker and mother. Here's a list of books on homemaking, and some talks and books on marriage, family life, motherhood, and more.

One helpful book for mothers and homemakers is Carolyn Mahaney's Feminine Appeal. You might want to read along as they discuss it at Equip Books this month. Nicole's thoughtful and challenging first post on this book came out today.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one sometimes bewildered by parenting. This mother of 9 speaks about how she knows less about parenting than 8 years ago. And a mother with many children writes about what not to say to a mother of 12.

While you're at home with your kids, here's 10 ways to enjoy your little ones. Here's an 11th: I can't think of an activity much more fun than making a lava lamp together!

Here's a lovely post about Honoria's mum, which reminds us of the high esteem a faithful mother can have in a daughter's heart.

And here, from her heart to my heart to your heart, is a cry for perfection from a mother: if only I were perfect.

image is from stock.xchng

online meanderings: the blog olympics

Here are the top posts of the week. Well, the ones I've read, anyway. You'll notice some are much older than last week. But I read them for the first time last week, so they're my posts of the week.

First, second and third place-getters are right at the end, so like the most nail-biting Olympic event, you'll have to read this post right through to find my favourites. Gotcha.

Since it's the Beijing Olympics, let's begin with this sobering and timely reminder of the persecution of Christians in China, and a fantastic post on how to pray for persecuted Christians.

There's an excellent discussion of the importance of interpreting the Bible carefully when you teach Sunday School in hermeneutics and children's curriculum.

And we're reminded why iPods are no substitute for church in computerised church.

Now here's one with staying power: this was the week Honoria's blog turned 1. She's celebrated the day with a book of lists of her year's blogging. Happy birthday Honoria.

Gavin Perkins at Sola Panel mused on how new will the new creation be, an excellent follow-up (or foundation) for his earlier post on work and the kingdom of God. I found it very helpful for my own thinking about work.

Coming up on the inside lane is this helpful reminder that marriage is not the ultimate relationship, and a post about the kind of marriage you'll want to avoid.

We're now at third place, with a wonderful reflection by John Piper on the morning I heard the voice of God.

In second place is joy comes with the morning, a moving testimony from Joni Eareckson about joy in suffering. “I find it so poignant that finally at the point when I do have the use of my arms to wipe away my own tears, I won’t have to, because God will.”

First place (drum roll please) goes to Nicole's the same earth, a sobering reminder of our own mortality. May we learn to number our days, and use well our brief time on this earth:

You turn men back to dust,
saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."
You sweep men away in the sleep of death;
they are like the new grass of the morning-
though in the morning it springs up new,
by evening it is dry and withered.
The length of our days is seventy years—
or eighty, if we have the strength;
yet their span is but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
Who knows the power of your anger?
For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.
Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
(Psalm 90:3, 5-6, 10-12)

With thanks to Gordon's shared items and Nicole's shared items: they work hard trawling the internet, and I take base advantage every week.

online meanderings: internet dot-to-dot

Want to play a game of internet dot-to-dot? You have to get from one completely unrelated post to another, and show how they connect. Well, you don't have to, but it's fun, so here goes. Hopefully you'll find some posts worth reading along the way:

Let's start with my own post about the Faithful Writer conference. I was interested to read Tony Payne's comments on the conference, about the different issues facing Christian and non-Christian writers. And here's a great summary by Trevor Carney of his serminar about writing for children.

While I was at last Saturday's conference, my friends Emma and Nicole were at the Equip Ministry Wives' Conference, listening to some wonderful talks by Philip Jenson and Carmelina Read. Nicole (who I had a lovely time catching up with in Sydney!) tells you about the day, and how to get hold of the talks, here.

One person who often makes insightful comments about Nicole's posts is Cathy, who's started a new blog: here's what she says about how not to read the Bible. Perhaps Cathy can take note of Tony's advice about how to be lazy and blog at the same time. He's discovered a secret you'll have noticed I make use of in my own blog.

One way we're all going to be lazy during the next couple of weeks is to watch the Olympics. Gordo reminds us not to watch mindlessly, but to remember the sufferings of Christians in China, and pray for them as we watch.

And while we're being lazy, others are missing work for reasons not under their control. Here's a post about how 700 employees of Starbucks lost their jobs, which leads nicely into this link on unemployment and the idolatry of work.

The worship of work is perhaps a particular temptation for men. Here's some other advice for men: J.C.Ryle on 5 dangers for young men, J.I.Packer's on 4 things young Christian leaders need to learn, and John Piper on being careful about what your eyes see.

From John Piper to his wife Noel, who tells her own story in a fascinating series of interviews. For some reason, I found it very encouraging to discover that they are ordinary people who often have very ordinary conversations over dinner!

Not long ago, I reviewed Noel Piper's Faithful Women and their Extraordinary God, a collection of 5 short biographies of Christian women. They're reading it over at Equip book club this month. Take a look at my bloggy friend Nicole's excellent suggestions about how to read Christian biography.

To bring John Piper and biography together, what an encouraging read this is on the biography of three flawed saints! One of whom is Augustine, whose comments on happiness could have come straight out of yesterday's post on happiness.

And while we're on the topic of flawed saints, aren't we all? I conclude with a prayer to see as much of my sin as I can bear, and to know God's grace.

image is from stock.xchng

boasting ... and all the rest

And another little rave, this time about Nicole's blog 168hours. If you haven't already read it, hop over there and have a look at what she wrote last week. Lots of challenging and encouraging discussions about topics like boasting, contraception, marriage, and blogging.

helping those who grieve

Here is a wonderful series by John Piper's daughter-in-law Molly about the loss of baby Felicity, about when grief hits the hardest, and about how to help those who are grieving.

As someone who feels like I never know quite what to say around those who grieve, I found this very helpful.

And here is the honest, raw, but inspiring story of a mother's sorrow over the loss of twins Nicholas and Olivia, her overwhelming and at times angry grief, and her ongoing trust in the goodness of God.Her blog is compelling reading from last to first, although it will make you cry:

I need to tell you something. I am afraid of my grief. It lurks deep within me behind a door that I don't know what to do with.

You see, I have no idea what's behind that door. My imagination whispers to me that it must be a portal to a hell that I would never want to explore. Common sense tells me that I need to march right on in there and deal with it, head-on. Popular culture is an enabler and tells me to own the door and carry it around with me as a constant reminder of the tragedy that is a part of my life.

I've walked with the Father closely enough to know that I can dismiss these voices. He takes me by the hand and tells me that I don't have to go in there without Him.

habits of highly effective Christians

Oooh, I am so excited about this link. More Girltalk stuff, this time a huge pile of excellent posts on the topic of the highly effective woman (yes, guys, you should read them too). Kind of appropriate in light of my recent disorganisation.

Here are some posts that caught my eye on a brief skim through (I must make the time to read them properly some time): the 5:00 club (crazy but strangely compelling), carefully considering our relationships (fantastic for lazy and over-enthusiastic relaters), keeping one resolution (a helpful way to look at New Year's resolutions), and do your best (I was absolutely inspired by this one).

And to keep us free from legalism and dependent on God's grace as we grow in self-discipline, chase up the links in ending where we began.