thoughts on an imperfect holiday

Hi, friends! We're back from 2 weeks' holiday. We spent the first week at a conference for our uni Christian group, and last week at the beach at Apollo Bay.

There were many lovely moments:

- a wild wind blowing spray backwards from the waves
- the golden lights of evening on the harbour
- seeing the world "like a bird does" (as Thomas said) from the lookout
- sampling the best coconut ice cream ever
- jogging and walking along the beach.

Steve was sick throughout our holiday (he's had a rough year). In the end, he had to take anti-nausea medication. He's still sick - he's now on medication for gastritis - but he made it down to the beach a couple of times. I did my best to look after him, and help the kids to have a good holiday.

I used to think holidays had to be perfect. I'd try to capture that mood where body and mind are at peace, and there's nothing to disturb the feeling. It's not something you can get just by wanting, so I spent every holiday in a state of nagging disappointment.

There were also holidays of teary exhaustion because none of my babies ever slept away from home. And the time I fractured a bone in my foot (I was trying to put a piece of tomato down my brother's back at the time, so at least it was in a good cause). And the plague year when I discovered an allergy to midge bites. Yup, holidays aren't perfect.

I have learned to be thankful for imperfect holidays. Watching the kids splash in the freezing water in their wetsuits. Sitting with my daughter in a cafe, both sipping on spiced chai. A family game of Cluedo. I don't care if I'm sitting on a lump of hard sand, or the kids are bickering; I love moments like those.

We're taught to idolise holidays. We post photos of beaches on Facebook - #it'sahardlife - and wait for the "likes!" that hide our friends' envy. We work and save all year for a week at a resort. We're always in search of the perfect experience - the perfect location - the perfect rest. Like all idols, this one is empty and unsatisfying.

Holidays are good. They're a gift of God for our refreshment. They renew us so we can serve him. They give us meaningful time with family and friends. But they're not yet heaven. In this world, they will often be marred by illness and injury and dissatisfaction. They will always, in some way, disappoint.

There's a better holiday coming - a perfect rest - one where there will be no midge bites or arguments or illness. A holiday only hinted at by those rare, perfect holiday moments. A holiday that will never come to an end.

I, for one, can't wait.

are holidays Christian?

You might remember a post I wrote some time ago about Tim Chester's argument that holidays aren't biblical. Here's some further thoughts I wrote for The Briefing.

There's a certain amount of discomfort in Christian circles when it comes to annual leave and long service leave - or any kind of extended holiday, for that matter. The workaholics and type-A personalities amongst us (I'm putting my hand up now) can be even more uncomfortable about taking holidays. Perhaps they're right.

Aren't these the last days, when our task - to tell the world about Jesus - is a matter of desperate urgency? Shouldn't we be spending our time and money on gospel ministry, not on luxurious holidays-for-self? Haven't most people, across the world and until the fairly recent past, had to do without annual leave? Doesn't the Bible, as some argue, give us a pattern of six days' work and one day's rest, not overwork for most of the year and 'binge resting' during one's annual leave?1

Yes, yes, yes, and...well, a qualified yes. While I agree that laziness and overwork are thoroughly unbiblical, and 'binge resting' doesn't sound much better, my husband and I are convinced that extended leave and holidays can be very, very good things. So much so, that we've just celebrated Steve's long service leave with a seven week driving trip from Melbourne to Cairns. Not very luxurious, and perhaps not even particularly restful (picture 7000 kms in a car with four children), but a great break all the same!

Why do I think holidays and extended leave are biblical? Here are six reasons, ranging from anecdotal to theological.

1. If you're anything like us, after working hard for many months or years, extended rest is a very welcome gift of God.
   Yes, I know that most people throughout history and across the world have had to do without annual and long service leave. They are not necessities of life, any more than owning a car or living near a local park; but this doesn't make them bad things. A year ago, my husband was looking wilted after eleven years in an exhausting ministry job, and I was worn out after eleven years of raising young children. Long service leave has done us a world of good, and we thank God for his timely gift (1 Timothy 4:1-5).



2. Rest is biblical.
   Rest shows that I believe I'm not the God and Savior of the universe: God is, and I can trust him to run the world and continue his work while I rest. Rest shows that I live in God's grace, rather than needing to prove myself, meet others' expectations or give my life meaning through work. Rest shows that I acknowledge my humanness, my dependence and my need: that while God doesn't need rest, I'm a creature, and I do (Psalm 121:4; 127:2). Rest shows that I know life isn't about work, but about glorifying God in all I do, while I work and while I rest.2



3. Extended times of rest are biblical.
   It's sometimes argued that, while we're not under the Old Testament law, the wise biblical pattern expressed in Genesis 2:1-2 and the Sabbath commandment is six days of work and one day of rest. I agree. But there were also extended times of rest in the Old Testament calendar: regular annual celebrations in which workers downed tools and traveled to the temple, and (seldom observed) seventh year rests and forty-ninth year Jubilees, when the land and its people rested from their labor.3 I'm not arguing that we need to keep special days any more (Galatians 4:8-11; Colossians 2:16-17; Hebrews 10:1) but if the Sabbath gives us a wise principle for weekly rest, why not the Old Testament pattern of longer rests as well?4



4. Rest (including more extended periods of rest) helps us to avoid burnout and stay in for the long haul.
   I have to admit that I don't like the term 'self care'. But, in the end, rest is not about self care: it's about other-person care.5 If it's true, for example, that up to 50% of pastors leave pastoral ministry within the first five years, many due to burnout, then it's important to take steps to prevent this. My husband is no workaholic - he's much better than me at regular weekly rest - but after more than ten years' work as a ministry leader who spares others the extra load, he badly needed time to refuel and revive so he can keep serving for the next ten years.



5. Rest helps our relationships.
   During times of rest, marriages can be built and family life strengthened in a way that's not always possible during the busyness of life. My friend Heather encouraged me (and our experience on our recent holiday confirmed it):
   
   

   In the long run Steve & the kids (and eventually the grandkids) will always be your primary ministry so take some time out to ensure that those relationships develop a strength and solidity that will last through the teen years and into adulthood. Our LSL time was always a precious memory for our kids, and many of the experiences laid down during this period were foundational in holding together the open communication with our kids we enjoyed into the teen years and even now.

6. Rest helps us to pour ourselves out in God's service.
   There are times of life when we give out (hopefully most of life!) and times of life when we take in so we can serve, such as during theological study, conferences, study leave or holidays. During such times we regroup, reflect, renew ('the three Rs') as we prepare prayerfully for the future. Rest doesn't necessarily show a failure to 'pour ourselves out' for the gospel; used wisely, it fills us so that we can 'pour out' all the more, working hard in God's service to the end (Philippians 2:17 cf. Romans 12:11; 1 Corinthians 15:58; 2 Thessalonians 3:6-13).

Are holidays Christian? Well, it depends. If we spend too much on self-indulgent, luxurious vacations, then no (James 5:5). If we overwork all year to save up for a few weeks' leave, then no. If we live for leisure as if it were the goal of life, then no. But if we work hard in God's service and rest wisely and regularly, then yes, holidays can be a very good gift of God. Like all gifts of God received with thanksgiving and used for his glory, they become truly 'holy' days, not in the old sense of special religious days, but in the sense of a creation gift 'made holy' by the word and prayer (1 Timothy 4:1-5).

What do you think?


1. See Tim Chester, The Busy Christian's Guide to Busyness, pages 29-30. I must add that I agree with most of what he says here, and this is probably the only bit of this excellent book that I have any disagreement with!
2. See the book just mentioned and my series busyness and burnout.
3. See my post Sunday School: The Law and Sacrifices - Special Days for a more detailed overview.
4. The hole in my argument is that the Sabbath is established in Genesis 2:2-3 as a creation principle while the annual religious festivals aren't; but both are spoken of in the same breath in Colossians 2:16-17, and both show that regular breaks from work are neither a modern phenomenon nor an unbiblical one.
5. Thanks, Honoria Lau, for pointing this out to me.
6. See Grant Bickerton's article Stressors of pastors and leaders.

image is by andrewmalone from flickr

home again

Home again! Here we are, back in Melbourne after a 7-week trip up the East coast of Australia, driving over 7000 kms from Melbourne to Cairns and back again.

We pulled a camper-trailer (one of those things that folds out into a tent) behind a 4-wheel drive, stayed with friends and camped, did lots of driving and saw lots of scenery, and visited some amazingly beautiful places. It was great to get physically and mentally away from everything for a couple of months.

Best of all was spending so much time together as a family. It was difficult at times - family arguments are embarrassing when you're only a canvas-wall away from other campers! - but I think we know each other better and appreciate one another more, which is especially helpful with our older children so close to becoming teenagers.

If you're interested, our itinerary looked like this:

Lakes Entrance (1 night of very windy camping)
Eden (2 nights of windy, cold camping at lovely Twofold Bay)
Canberra (3 nights in a house; we loved Canberra, especially the War Memorial, where we could have spent a whole day)
Sydney (4 nights staying with some very dear friends; highlights: Botany Bay, the ferry from Circular Key to Manly, and the view across the grand old Rocks to the Harbour Bridge and Opera House at sunset)
Narromine (2 nights at my aunt and uncle's cotton and wheat farm near Dubbo, chasing kangaroos in the ute and learning how cotton grows)
Armidale (where I was born - 1 night amongst the old houses and older trees)
Brunswick Heads (8 nights at my aunt's house in one of my favourite childhood holiday spots; we swam in the river and at the white sand beach, visited the theme parks, and watched dolphins surf the sunset waves at the most westerly point in Australia near Byron Bay lighthouse)
Rainbow Beach (4 nights camping - that's the rainbow cliffs in the photo above; we took a ferry to Fraser Island, the largest sand island in the world, where we saw wild dingoes scarily close, and did some hilarious track and glorious beach 4-wheel driving)
The Caves (1 night; the only rain we saw for a month, and some interesting caves)
Airlie Beach (3 nights; peaceful moments swimming in the lagoon, looking up at palm trees and across to the boats in the bay and the Whitsunday islands)
Cairns (7 nights and the best time of all; we rode across the mountains in a gondala, swam with a giant turtle at the Great Barrier Reef, and camped with our backs to the rainforest, with bush turkeys underfoot and butterflies overhead)
Magnetic Island (5 nights off the coast of Townsville; a magical place where we swam in the quiet bays, fed the rock wallabies and rainbow lorikeets, and did a little bushwalking)

At which point my husband Steve got sick and we hurried home, stopping for a repeat visit to some very rainy theme parks and a few hours in Canberra before turning into our driveway at 2 o'clock during a cold, dark Melbourne night.

We're all sick now, so you can pray for us. But after all that camping, mountains of unpacking, and a few out-of-body days readjusting to ordinary life, it's good to be back in the comfort and routines of home.

giving thanks for work and rest (the end of the school holidays)

School holidays. Ours have just finished; you might be half way through yours, if you're a mum in another state of Australia. If you're not a mum, you'll have your own times of weekly and annual rest.

By the end of term I'm hanging out for the holidays. I start each term with energy to do the extras: catch up with friends, make dentist appointments, organise play dates. At term's end I'm dragging my feet through the hours, longing for a lazy day and a morning when I won't have to get the kids out the door at 8.45.

By the end of school holidays, I'm looking forward to the routine of term-time: making lunches, driving the kids to school, and coming home to a quiet house with just one child in it. We're running low on cereal, there are dust bunnies in the corners, and I've had enough noise and chaos to last me for a while. On the first day of term, it feels good to pack up the toys and get out the vacuum cleaner.

Isn't it good that God gives us times of work and times of rest? Isn't it good to work hard each week then take a day's rest, and exchange months of work for a few weeks' rest? Today I'm thanking God for school holidays and term time; for the work-rest pattern of my days.

image is from Thomas Hawk at flickr

holiday pics

Here's some more holiday pics for those of you who know our family (and anyone else who wants to see them! :) ).


On our mid-year conference, the kids enjoyed the ropes course most,



and I finished knitting a jumper for Lizzy.

Then it was off to Phillip Island for a family getaway, where we caught some fish,


went for some glorious walks,


and played at the beach, burying Andy,

building sandcastles,

digging pools,

making giant structures out of beachwood,


paddling in the sea,


and enjoying the scenery.


Beautiful!

back from holidays

Hello everyone! We're back from holidays, so things should soon return to normal here on in all honesty (as soon as I muster up the energy to write something, that is).

During the last two weeks, we've been away at Summit, the mid-year conference for our university Christian group, then at Phillip Island for a family holiday.


It was great to have a break, because last term was very, very busy. I always read a lot - as you know! - but I outdid myself by reading, in part or in whole, an enormous pile of 30 books on sex and sexual purity, then wrote 2 seminars for our female university graduates.

This was in the midst of ordinary family life, with its seemingly endless succession of appointments (doctor, dentist, haircuts, checking out high schools for Lizzy ... ) and weeks of boys at home with the flu. No wonder if I felt a little discouraged! I can't wait to get back to regular exercise and normal quiet times (ones not dominated by preparation, that is!) this term.

Steve was also busy writing 4 great talks on the love of God for our mid-year conference (you can download them here). He gave the talks 2 times in 7 days - once for our students, once for our graduates - while I watched the kids running around the campsite, prepared and gave my seminar, and packed and unpacked all our belongings 4 times in 9 days as we moved from home to campsite room to room to holiday house!


By the time we got to Phillip Island, I didn't even have the energy to read, which is pretty unusual for me! Instead, I set a personal record by doing 4 1000 piece jigsaws in 4 days, and went for long walks and watched the birds - pelicans, cormorants, Pacific gulls, oyster catchers, skuas - going about their beachy business.

The kids had fun too: they got all goose-pimply paddling in the waves and building sandcastles and elaborate driftwood sculptures, watched fairy penguins scurrying up the beach, went on a glorious walk to the Nobbies blowhole and didn't see the seals, caught and ate rainbow trout (worms on hooks - ugh!), and even visited a slightly bizarre but enjoyable chocolate factory!

God knew what we needed. I'm feeling refreshed and ready to face another term. I've been praying for all the fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal 5:22-23) - and I know I'll need every one, as I seek to glorify God during the coming days.

what I'm reading: are holidays Christian? from Tim Chester's The Busy Christian's Guide to Busyness

Tim Chester once received a brochure in a Christian magazine. Inside were photos of exhausted family members struggling with homemaking, work and filling the church roster(!). The answer to busyness? An expensive Christian holiday in France! As Chester says, "This was clearly only an answer for wealthy people."

Like my friend Gordo, Chester's not keen on the idea of holidays. He says we've replaced God's pattern of weekly rest with an unhealthy pattern of "binge resting" and retirement.

I'm not completely convinced: what about the Old Testament festivals? God's people were commanded to rest not only on the weekly Sabbath, but also at regular times throughout the year, and even every seventh year (long-service leave?! See my post on special days). But I do agree that many of us (including me!) need to re-learn how to take weekly days of rest.

What do you think? Are holidays Christian?

Holidays are a recent thing. ... It's only in the past hundred years that most people have received paid leave. Legislation enforcing one week's paid annual holiday was introduced in 1936. When people say they need a holiday they should remember the generations who never had a holiday - at least, not in the sense of a week away.

Our society has adopted a pattern of 48 weeks of work and four weeks of rest. We overwork for most of the year and then 'binge rest' for four weeks. But this was not the pattern for which we were made. We 'need' our holidays because our normal lives are so out of balance. The sustainable answer is not an annual holiday, but to get back to a biblical pattern of work and rest structured around a week.

It's doubtful if holidays are good for us. ... Most say they feel as stressed as ever by the end of their first week back. When you pattern is 48 weeks work and four weeks rest then your holiday is everything. ... Life has become week after week of toil for two weeks in the sun.

We not only spread the work-rest pattern over a year instead of a week. We spread it over a lifetime. We overwork for maybe 40 years to set up a retirement of leisure. Neither the overwork nor the retirement is healthy or godly. The Bible doesn't recognize the category of retirement. Work is to be part of life throughout life. ... People may retire from employment, but still have years of active service left to give to the church or community.

from Tim Chester's The Busy Christian's Guide to Busyness pp. 29-30

images are from alainkun and HRC at flickr

dazed state of the sunburnt mind

If my brain seems to have gone on holidays, and I am posting blogs of no significance whatsoever, it's because I'm in that dazed holiday state where nothing much seems to matter, and real life feels a long way off.

I hope this finds your brain in a similar state of extreme relaxation, that is if you're also on holidays, not if you are a working person caring for critically ill patients or rescuing victims from life-threatening situations (in which case, thank you, it's a good thing someone is keeping civilization going. May your own holidays be extra blessed, whenever they may be.)

As for me, I am feeling refreshed and invigorated (and slightly more aged and wrinkled, thanks to the sun) after holidaying in Apollo Bay for 10 days after Christmas. We stayed with my parents and my brother's family in a huge, noisy 2-story white house overlooking the sea. The holiday was paid for my my generous parents - thank you parents!

Steve had 7 days all on his own, his idea of the perfect holiday being to escape from a people-intensive job and a large family and live in front of the computer/television for a week (don't worry, my time for solitude will come).

He joined us in Apollo Beach for the last few days, promptly got badly sunburnt ("I couldn't reach my back! I thought you'd brought the sunburn cream to the beach!") and had to sit around stiffly watching the cricket during our final day (no doubt a great hardship).

My head is echoing with those moments, good and bad, so crucial to a beach holiday:

The endless putting on of bathers, plastering on of sunburn cream, and packing of towels, hats, buckets, spades, and boogie boards as the kids and I prepare for yet another morning at the beach.

The uncomfortably damp, sandy return home in the hot car, followed by the ritual washing of sandy feet under the garden tap, rinsing off small sandy backs and bottoms under the shower, and hanging countless damp towels and bathers on the line.

Our rainbow-striped kite snapping its sides and flicking its tail high against the dazzling sky, confidently riding a steady ocean wind far above the pummelling gusts below, the thin nylon string tugging at my fingers and rough grass prickling my feet as I gaze meditatively upwards.

Catching my breath at the beauty of the ocean in the evening light, foaming waves touched to phosphorescence tumbling towards the shore and crashing against the rocks, sending dotted plumes of white spray improbably high into the air.

Enjoying the exhilarating rush that even a child's boogie board on a small wave can provide, and the long ride through turquoise water churning to brown as I reach the shallows.

Of course, being on planet earth, not yet in heaven, there were also more painful moments: digging a huge splinter from the rough veranda out of a 4-year old's foot while he tried desperately to be brave; smearing aloe vera ointment into reddened skin after a 9-year old's first encounter with sunburn; and trying to rest, after a disturbed night cuddling an unsettled baby, in a noisy house where the wooden floors overhead magnified every step into a shuddering bang.

But isn't the world wonderful? And hasn't God made it gloriously? What I am left with (besides more freckles and an advanced state of relaxation) is an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the God whose final act of creation was that wonderful gift: rest.