... and again

Although, as Ben (7) said, this gun really does need some animation. I think he meant ammunition. But animation would do just as well.

boys and their guns ... again

Told you boys can make guns out of anything. Even worthy educational toys like this one. Come to think of it, they haven't played with this 3D word game much at all, so at least it's being put to good use.

boys and their guns

There are many views on boys and their guns. Should we allow our boys to play with toy guns? Or, if not guns, should we allow them to play with pretend swords? What about water pistols (they are a kind of gun, after all)?

I probably wouldn't buy my child a toy gun. But I'm happy to allow Thomas to pretend to destroy the world. For in a modern, Western world where there are few opportunities for boys to express their aggression and high spirits, Steve and I are not going to stop them using their imaginations to act out stories, even if they involve imaginary violence. And perhaps they will confront some imaginary fears, and practise some qualities like courage, along the way.

We would change this if real violence was a problem for our sons. And maybe living in certain parts of the world would make us re-think our position. But our boys are generally gentle, and even our 4-year-old can tell the difference between fantasy and reality. We just make sure they're gentle with other children, and perhaps don't point their toy guns at other people.

Besides, have you ever tried to stop a boy playing with guns? One of the mothers I know outlawed toy guns (and fair enough, toy guns are absent from my to-buy list, too, although we do have a very small plastic one and some pretend swords in our dress-up box) and they discovered that their curved wooden train-track pieces made perfect guns.

And if you do outlaw toy guns, don't forget about chameleons. Thomas once told me he was going to "kill the whole house" with one of those.

boys destroy

Thomas is playing at his friend Jack's house.

Thomas - We're going to destroy the whole world!
Jack - Yes, let's play that! Let's kill the whole world!

Thomas and Jack run outside, screaming.

5 minutes later Jenny and I go outside to check on our boys. We find them rolling lemons (which they're not supposed to pick) under the gate and onto the road.

Jean and Jenny - Boys, boys, stop that! Stop rolling lemons onto the road!
Thomas - Jack was the one who told me what to do. And I did it. (shades of Adam and Eve)
Jean - Well, you're not allowed to pick lemons, and you're not allowed to roll them under the gate.
Thomas - But we have to destroy the whole world! We have to destroy the cars!
Jean - We don't mind you pretending to destroy things, but don't roll lemons at the cars. Find something else to destroy. But don't use anything hard, don't pick lemons, don't throw things, and be gentle.

We go back inside.

5 minutes later we go back outside to see Thomas suspiciously carrying a lemon.

Jean - Thomas, why are you carrying a lemon?
Thomas - (indignantly) But we picked the lemons when Aunty Jenny wasn't watching!
Jean - Well, even when we can't see you, you're still not supposed to pick lemons. God can see you even when we can't. (always time for a sententious piece of theology)
Thomas - But we want to kill the whole world! What can we use to destroy things?
Jean - Let's find something soft that you can use to kill things. But not people, only things.
Thomas - Look! A piece of chalk! We'll use that to kill things! Look! (he draws on the concrete, giggling)
Jean - Ok, then, you can use that. But be gentle.

We go back inside.

5 minutes later we go back outside to find Thomas and Jack throwing dirt into the garage.

Thomas and Jack - We're destroying the garage!
Jean and Jenny - But you're not supposed to throw dirt into the garage!

Thomas and Jack are given brooms and helped to sweep up the garage. We go back inside.

5 minutes later we go back outside.

Jean - It's time to go now, Thomas. Did you have fun?
Thomas - (triumphantly) Well, Mummy, we didn't destroy the whole world, but at least we destroyed the garage!
Jean - Yes, very good honey, let's go home now.

You learn to be very unflappable when parenting boys.

boys and girls

Mummy (39) - "What are you doing?"
Lizzy (9) and her good friend Emma - "We're making a castle for a fairy princess."

Mummy (39) - "What are you doing?"
Thomas (4) and his good friend Jack - "We're making weapons and scary monsters so we can kill Andrew and go to the next level."

And they say there's no difference between boys and girls.