so many things make me sad

Do you often feel sad? Is the glass half empty for you? Are you introspective and reflective? Do you tend to self-pity?

David Powlison has just written a wonderful series of posts called "So many things make me sad". He concludes,

There is an unspeakable sorrow at the heart of the world. All the Bible writers know that. All the great saints know that. All the great novelists and poets have known it. All honest men and women have known it. Only the self-deluded, who pursue their schemes for earthly joy, who expend their lives in climbing ladders to nowhere, fail to recognize the obvious. In the end, all is loss. And, whether the effects are subtle or grotesque, a madness of evil blinds the human heart (Ecclesiastes 9:3).

There is one more thing that needs to be said, and said again. We are surprised by joy, as C. S. Lewis put it. Life wins, gladness wins, hope wins. Death dies, sin disappears, all tears are wiped away...

The mercies of God in Jesus Christ give certainty that sadness does not get last say. The past grace of our Father's purposes and the self-sacrificing love of Jesus provide the indestructible foundation on which to build your life. The present help of Christ through his Holy Spirit works with you so you increasingly find the balance point between joy and sorrow. And the future hope of Christ promises that joy will sweep away all sorrows.

If you want to read the series, follow these links:

Part 1: So many things make me sad.
Part 2: Is it right to feel grief for what is grievous?
Part 3: Does my temperament make me sad?
Part 4: How precisely can I sort out my emotions?
Part 5: Is there a normative internal experience?

image is by Chapendra at flickr

CS Lewis on love, feelings and the will

On Monday I mentioned that it's not just our beliefs that change our behaviour, but also our behaviour that changes our beliefs.

Actually, it's not so much that our behaviour changes our beliefs (change is from the heart) but that our behaviour strengthens our beliefs when it comes from a changed heart.

If a small, weak, faltering faith acts in love and obedience, this love and obedience will rebound and grow that faith. Faith and repentance grow stronger as they express themselves in love.

Here CS Lewis says something similar: that the choice to love grows the feeling or attitude of love.

Love, in the Christian sense, does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will ...

Do not waste time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. ...

This same spiritual law works terribly in the opposite direction. ... The more cruel you are, the more you will hate; and the more you hate, the more cruel you will become — and so on in a vicious circle for ever.

Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An apparently trivial indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attack otherwise impossible. ...

On the whole, God's love for us is a much safer subject to think about than our love for Him. Nobody can always have devout feelings: and even if we could, feelings are not what God principally cares about. Christian Love, either towards God or towards man, is an affair of the will. If we are trying to do His will we are obeying the commandment, 'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God'. He will give us feelings of love if He pleases. We cannot create them for ourselves, and we must not demand them as a right. But the great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins, or our indifference; and, therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him.

from CS Lewis Mere Christianity chapter 9

images are from Divine Harvester and ' B a r c a at flickr

enjoying God (9) how can I fight for joy?

Have you ever thought of joy as a battle?

Joy is not something which slips easily into the heart. In this fallen world, with all its shame, sorrow and suffering, joy is something we must fight for with all our strength.

Many things attack our joy. We can't change these things, but we can change how we respond to them. Here's a list I gathered from Martyn Lloyd-Jones' Spiritual Depression:

- we can't change our personality,
but we must guard against our weaknesses;
- we may wake in a bad mood,
but we don't have to let it dominate us;
- we can't change a tendency to depression,
but we can choose not to give in to despair;
- we should grieve for those who die,
but we shouldn't let grief permanently overwhelm us;
- we may feel the heavy weight of guilt,
but we can remind ourselves of Jesus' death;
- we can't always change our circumstances,
but we can choose how to respond to them;
- we may feel like God is absent,
but we can remember that he is always with us in Christ;
- we can't avoid Satan's whispered temptations,
but we can decide to listen to God instead;
- we can't make ourselves happy,
but we can choose to rejoice in God.

Feelings aren't under our direct control. We can't change how we feel, but we can change what we believe, how we think, and how we act and speak, and these things will shape our emotions. Here's some practical suggestions:

1. Beliefs.
Next time you're angry, jealous, or discouraged, think about the beliefs shaping how you feel. Emotions are often a good guide to our hearts. Perhaps we're doubting God's love, or failing to trust in his goodness. Repent, pray for help, read the Bible, hold to God's promises: these change our beliefs, and shape our feelings.

2. Thoughts.
There's not much point in pushing a thought away, unless we replace it with something better. We're told to "set our minds on things above" (Col. 3:2). I memorise Bible passages, and repeat them when unhelpful thoughts pop into my head: very effective in battling impure, anxious and despairing thoughts.

3. Words and actions.
We may feel angry, but we can speak and act with kindness. We may feel miserable, but we can thank God. We may feel depressed, but we can do the next small task in front of us. It's surprising the effect this can have on our emotions.

4. Body.
We're embodied creatures, and our bodies have a huge impact on how we feel. If we're irritable, miserable, or discouraged, a look at our eating, exercise and sleeping habits during the last few hours or days may tell us why. We may need to make some changes for the sake of our godliness and joy.

I haven't even mentioned one of the most vital and neglected weapon in our battle for joy: preaching to ourselves. We mustn't let ourselves get away with untrue, discouraged thinking. We must learn to speak to ourselves of God's promises, words and salvation, and exhort ourselves to believe and rejoice.

Martyn Lloyd-Jones says this is the key to battling discouragement: "We must talk to ourselves instead of allowing ‘ourselves’ to talk to us!"* Read the Psalms, and echo their words: "Praise the LORD, O my soul!" "Why are your downcast, O my soul? Put your hope in God!" "Be at rest, O my soul!" (Ps. 113:1; 42:5; 116:7)

Why don't you pick up your Bible, and read Psalm 42-43? Perhaps you could choose this for your Bible reading tomorrow. Write a list of the ways the Psalmist fights for joy (don't all women love lists?). You'll discover many wonderful ways to fight for joy.

* You'll find the rest of the quote here: Christian self-talk.

images are from stock.xchng

evangelicals, emotions and embarrassment

Reformed evangelicals often seem a little embarrassed about expressing emotion. Other forms of Christianity have other weaknesses, including an over-emphasis on emotion, but this is ours.

So while we're on the topic of feelings, here's a fantastic quote from Mike Raiter about evangelicalism:

Haven’t you ever wondered…why we make more of what we believe than whom we trust? We are in love with the gospel, but feel a little uncomfortable with Jesus… It is gospel, gospel, gospel, but where is Jesus? … Sometimes, evangelical Christians talk about their faith as if it is essentially a creed we subscribe to, rather than a person we belong to…You could easily get the impression that the chief end of man is to “read the Bible and study it forever”…

We sing to one another the most sublime and thrilling truths imaginable. Yet, so often, we do so with little fervour or evident intellectual or emotional engagement…It is tragic to hear sermons on, say, the seriousness of sin, the majesty of Jesus, the assurance of salvation, the expectation of glory, delivered with all the passion one might show in giving street directions to a passing motorist… I expect that we will sing in heaven because our first response on beholding the glory of God will not be to break up into discussion groups, but to break out into adoration and praise.

Mike Raiter Stirrings of the Soul 228-30, 247.

enjoying God (6) do I really have to feel it?

"Why do you keep going on and on about joy?", I hear you ask. "Just how important are feelings anyway?"

Faith isn't a feeling. When I fly in an aeroplane, I'm putting my faith in the pilot, but I don't feel anything about him one way or the other. Do I?

Obedience isn't a feeling. The whole point of obedience is that I obey God however I feel. Don't I?

Well, yes and no. Feelings come and go. They're not particularly reliable. When I put my faith in Christ, I may not feel anything much. But it's hard to imagine a drowning man grabbing the hand of his rescuer without joy! Peter assumes faith brings joy "that is inexpressible and full of glory" (1 Pet. 1:8).

And there will be times when I obey without joy. Times when, feeling nothing, I pray, love, or serve. But obedience isn't better when it's done through gritted teeth. In some ways, I honour God more when I obey with joy because I love to bring him glory.

It's a bit like marriage. Marriage is a fact, not a feeling, and I stay married however I feel about it. I can choose to love my husband even when I don't feel loving. But a healthy marriage will include feelings. I may tell my husband "I love him" from a sense of duty. But my husband is more honoured if I say it not just from duty, but because I really feel he is precious to me.

If I'm not feeling anything about God - even though he sent his only Son to die for me! - there's something wrong. This "wrongness" may be out of my control (illness, depression, mood). But more often than not, it's the result of unbelief, patterns of disobedience, or choices I've made.

Maybe I've cherished my moods, until I'm permanently stuck in anxiety, bitterness or despair. Maybe I've been unwise about caring for my body, and lack of sleep and exercise have plunged me into discouragement. Maybe I've neglected the Bible, prayer, or obedience, so it's no wonder I no longer feel joy in God.

Martyn Lloyd-Jones, who insisted truth mattered more than emotion, still saw feelings as essential to true Christianity: “If you and I have never been moved by our feelings, well, we had better examine the foundations again.” J.I.Packer described the Christian life as like a 3-legged stool: doctrine, practice, and experience. If you lack one, the stool won't support your weight very well.

Feelings come from faith, not faith from feelings. We begin with truth, not with feelings (Rom. 12:1-2). On their own, feelings don't tell us much (2 Cor. 7:10). They're not accurate indicators of the health of our relationship with God. Their intensity and expression depend on personality, health, upbringing, and a host of other factors.

But feelings will generally accompany a healthy and lively faith.

For how can we receive such a great salvation without joy? How can we see God send his own Son to die for us without tears in our eyes? How can we not sing to such a God with hearts overflowing with thanks and praise?

Martyn Lloyd-Jones quote is from Spiritual Depression, p.110; J.I.Packer comment is from Rediscovering Holiness, p.61; images are from stock.xchng.