Here's a brilliant description of why it is that teenage girls are the perfect readers, and why books like Twlight appeal to them:The salient fact of an adolescent girl's existence is her need for a secret emotional life—one that she slips into during her sulks and silences, during her endless hours alone in her room, or even just when she's gazing out the classroom window while all of Modern European History, or the niceties of the passé composé, sluice past her. This means that she is a creature designed for reading in a way no boy or man, or even grown woman, could ever be so exactly designed, because she is a creature whose most elemental psychological needs—to be undisturbed while she works out the big questions of her life, to be hidden from view while still in plain sight, to enter profoundly into the emotional lives of others—are met precisely by the act of reading.I observe my 13 year old daughter retreating to her room to read and re-read series like Anne of Green Gables, Harry Potter, and, most recently, the Goose Girl series, and I remember my own teen years, and what Caitlin Flanagan says makes perfect sense to me - especially because it is no longer possible to abandon myself to reading in quite the same way.
From Caitlin Flanagan's article What Girls Want in The Atlantic HT Karen (thanks, Karen!).
8 comments:
oh but the secret emotional life does not end with the teenage years... and I wonder how indulging it then ends up affecting us later on...
I'd love to hear you reflect further on this, Rachael!
I'm not sure I'm game yet to open my reflections on this to public scrutiny.
:) That, I can understand!
Your comment led to some interesting mental ramblings on my part. Probably you weren't thinking along these lines at all, but here are my vague thoughts, for what it's worth.
It's sometimes easy for women to retreat from real relationships into imaginary ones, which are more satisfactory than the real kind. This can lead to discontent in marriage, unrealistic expectations of relationships, and so on. (One of my married male friends hates Jane Austen for this very reason!)
You can get training in this as a teenager, which is one reason I don't want my daughter reading the "Twilight" books - I don't want her to have that kind of unrealistic view of romantic relationships. In my case, it was "Romeo and Juliet" which had that kind of romantic haze around it. Whether that affected me in the long term - well, I don't think it did, but I can see how it could. You probably can't prevent a daughter doing some of this romantic dreaming - and some of it is probably natural and helpful - but I guess you can feed it with healthy expectations and wisdom about relationships.
There's also another issue - that of withdrawal into a secret life. I'm noticing this tendency in my 13 year old daughter: I think most mothers do around this age. I have to keep reminding myself - and talking to her about - closing the communication gap. Books like "Girl Talk" by Carolyn Mahaney (which I'm reading with her) and "Age of Opportunity" by Paul Tripp have encouraged me to keep encouraging my daughter to come out and join the family, and to keep initiating conversation and relationship with her.
What you said probably had nothing to do with any of that, but it did lead to some interesting mental ramblings! Thank you. :)
The secret emotional life... and all the thoughts and dreams that accompany it would be the single biggest struggle for me against sin in my life. So yes, some of your mental ramblings resonate with me... but it's still a little raw and frightening to talk about.
Thanks, Rachael. It's a hard battle, that one. Let's keep praying and fighting.
This is bringing back some memories...
I remember retreating into my room as a teenager and just writing....not story writing or journalling...just writing. In fact, I really don't know what I was writing about.
The teen years can be a confusing time. There is so much pressure to look and act a certain way to be accepted by others. You are expected to find your 'identity'. I think I retreated into my room so I could have some time just being myself (whatever that means) without feeling like I wasn't good enough. This was more during the early high school years. By the end of Year 9, I had some really great friends who accepted me and I didn't need to do the retreating thing quite so much.
I'm sure your daughter appreciates the fact that you just want to spend time with her.
I'm sure you're right - in fact, I know you're right! She does appreciate it - on the whole. :)
Yes, I remember retreating too. In my case it was into a journal, books, Christian music...
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