online meanderings

Living in the valley for now - This transformed my view of psalms 22, 23 and 24, and gave me hope as I live in the valley.

Are you getting stuck? - What to do when you feel stuck in your or others' suffering.

Leading church while leading your family - "Your church can get another pastor, but your kids can’t get another dad."

Questions about suicide and Christians - David Murray writes about suicide and mental illness after the death of Rick Warren’s 27-year-old son (and see Justin Taylor and Walt Mueller).

Living singly for God - How singleness can be a gift, even when we don't want it.

Read aloud books - A great list of books to read aloud to your kids. Deb.

7 Deadly Myths and 3 Inspired Truths About Book Editing - I learned a lot from this post.

Glance over at your Bible. Think what you’ve been through with God in those pages...Think how thankful you are that God wrote something you can hold to your chest, rocking back and forth, when your heart is shattered and your sight too blurred to read. Every Bible is the Word of God, but with no ears to hear it, hearts to love it, or hands to warm themselves by the fire of it, man is tragically lost to it. Beth Moore

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what I'm reading: when worry comes from a need to control from King's Cross

I came across this quote while reading Tim Keller's King's Cross the other day, and found it profoundly helpful. It reminded me that my worry - including my worry about those dear to me - is so often rooted in a need to control:

At some level, your normal assumptions, your pride and your egotistical way of thinking, are blinding you to the truth.

One prime example of this is worry. Naturally, if you love people, you're going to worry about them.

But do you know where constant worry comes from? It's rooted in an arrogance that assumes, I know the way my life has to go, and God's not getting it right.

Real humility means to relax.

One of the hardest things for me is trusting God about things that I have absolutely no control over. Usually, when I worry, the first thing I do is try to fix things. But there are some things you just can't fix.

My son's ongoing illness is one thing I can't fix. God has ripped the reins out of my hands. Yes, I can take my son to (lots and lots of) doctors; I can structure his days and care for his needs; I can talk to his teachers about how to care for him - but nothing I do can make him better.

Sometimes it feels like God has been whispering - no, shouting! (I'm a little hard of hearing) - in my ears, over and over, for years now, as I've loved and raised my children: "You aren't the one in control - I AM!"

I don't find this easy to hear. I'm stubborn. I like to be in control. I worry, I struggle, I fight. But then I give up and give my son up to God. I don't do this by choice. God has left me with no other choice.

I guess God, in his severe mercy, sometimes lets these things into our lives to remind us that, ultimately, we really have very little control at all. All we can do is give up our striving and pray and trust him. And that is HARD.

But if God is all that we believe he is - if he is all that we can see he is in Jesus - if he is love, and power, and compassion, and wisdom, and sovereignty, and grace - then we can give up our striving, our worry, and rest in him, knowing that he wants what is best, both for us and for those we love.

Quote is from Tim Keller King's Cross 147.

with the Lord forever on the other side of cancer

My friend Bronwyn Chin died last Sunday. It was Easter Day, the day we celebrate Jesus' resurrection from the dead, which seemed so fitting! For Bronwyn was always full of joy in her Saviour, and this was the day she joined him in life on the other side of death.

I only met Bronwyn last year, when I was blessed to be in a prayer group with her at a weekend conference. She was alarmingly skinny, with what she called "rock chic" hair; but she was still full of enthusiasm and laughter! We prayed for her neighbours, whom she invited over regularly so she could talk with them about Jesus. I was inspired by how she served God with all her small reserves of energy.

The day I heard the news I discovered that jogging when you're crying isn't easy. I couldn't stop thinking about and praying through tears for her husband Richard and their four children. My heart is heavy for them because I know that grief is hard. That aching absence always feels so final, even when you know it's not.

Today I'm re-reading a wonderful article Bronwyn wrote last year. It's called Thank God for the gift of cancer. In it she writes,

So I thank God for this gift of cancer because he is good and he is using it for his purposes. The plans of the Lord are perfect even if I don’t know the reasons for everything. All I know is that soon I will be with the Lord forever because Jesus alone has saved me through his death and resurrection.

I hope to see you all there!

 I'd love to encourage you to read the rest here.

online meanderings

8 steps to bringing pastors and their wives out of isolation - An important read.

How to create opportunities for people to speak in church - I love this. Thanks, Macca!

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle - A beautiful post.

Complaining God's way: Helping people give voice to their suffering - Useful thoughts on the psalms of lament.

When our ministry grows slowly, or doesn't seem to grow at all - Wise reflections from a church planter on trusting God when revival doesn't come.

10 practical tips for visiting parents with a new baby - You need to know this, especially #10. (A couple more: Give parents and siblings attention, not just the baby. Bring a gift for siblings, not just the baby.)

See how He loves us? While we were yet sinners Christ died! Behold the cross of Christ! See your sin and your utter depravity. See His mercy and His grace. Lisa Spence

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a reflection on twelve years in Pakistan

When I was a child, I thought of missionaries as super-spiritual, going places I'd never dare go, with more courage than I'd ever have. That's just one reason I love this beautiful poem by my friend Jenny, a missionary in Pakistan.*

A Reflection on Twelve years in Pakistan

Striving, surviving, thriving -
yet not quite the outward-bound,
ever-moving, onwards and upwards
imagined adventure.

Rather, each year taken on
its own flavour, layer upon layer
and nothing remains constant,
only the unsettling uncertainty
of what tomorrow could be.

I’ve felt
none of the perfectionism,
none of the spiritual giantism,
that I mistakenly expected.

It’s been slow – oh, so slow -
to come to pass
and yet has passed too soon,
with some gain; not without pain.

Much is veiled and dimly lit,
the secret workings of the Spirit,
who alone has been faithfully
persevering, pruning, working
in this barren soil, his toil.

His wondrous grace and tender mercy
never ceases.
And this brings peace, his peace alone,
so we continue striving, keep surviving
and be sure of His work thriving.

* I've added a few paragraph breaks for ease of online reading - apologies, friend!

Couch to 5K: week 2

Week two
Begin with a brisk 5-minute walk, then alternate 90 seconds of running with 2 minutes of walking, for a total of 20 minutes.



Week 2 of Couch to 5K isn't that much of a stretch. Yes, my legs want to stop at 1 minute. And yes, it's hard to get that extra 30 seconds out of my puffing body. But that first exhilaration hasn't worn off - not yet.

I discover the joy of running at the beach. We're on holidays, and nothing beats this: a straight stretch of sand, long waves to my right, running past holiday makers and dogs and fishermen.

One day, I go jogging with my daughter. That doesn't work out so well. She's faster than me, but she doesn't see the fun in this. We get back and I ask, "Do you want to do that again?", and she answers, "Not really."

My (sporty) sister-in-law looks at my outfit and says, "You're jogging in jeans?" Well, yes, I am. I didn't want to invest in running clothes until I found out if this program would stick. And better 3/4 jeans than nothing.

I think she's kind of impressed that her non-jogging sister-in-law is willing to give this a go, though. She's sidelined with a sore hip, so we've swapped roles this year: the sporty and the not-so-sporty.

I notice with amusement that, when I run past someone, I speed up to impress them. Then I can barely make it to the end of my 90 seconds. The penalty of vanity.

I reach the end of the beach - can't believe I've made it! Normally I wouldn't even attempt to walk this far! - and pause to watch the waves curling and the seagulls curving overhead. Then I turn and jog-walk-jog-walk back to our holiday house.

And I realise...

• running at the beach is completely, utterly glorious. Wish I could do it all the time.
• it would help if I had proper jogging clothes, but ordinary clothes will do for now - although I'll learn soon enough that running in your old cross-trainers is perhaps not the best idea.
• my app tells me, "Don't go too fast. It's about distance and intervals, not speed." Clearly it knows the way I'm tempted.

It's the end of the second week, and I'm still enjoying this.

How did you find week 2 of Couch to 5K?

God can pick sense out of a confused prayer: Richard Sibbes

Do you ever feel weak? (Yes!) Do you ever feel like you don't know how to pray? (Double yes!) Or like your prayers are weak and distracted and wavering? (Oh, yes!)

I've never forgotten Richard Sibbes' The Bruised Reed. It's one of a few lasting memories from my Puritan study days: words that stick in your mind and sing to your heart long after you've laid down the book.

Here it is, quoted by Challies:

A Christian complains he cannot pray.

"Oh, I am troubled with so many distracting thoughts, and never more than now!"

But has he put into your heart a desire to pray? Then he will hear the desires of his own Spirit in you.

"We do not know what to pray for as we ought" (nor how to do anything else as we ought), but the Spirit helps our infirmities with "groanings too deep for words" (Rom. 8:26)..."My sighing is not hidden from you" (Psa. 38:9).

God can pick sense out of a confused prayer...

Sometimes a Christian has such confused thoughts that he can say nothing but, as a child, cries, "O Father", not able to express what he needs...These stirrings of spirit touch the heart of God and melt him into compassion towards us...

"Oh, but is it possible", thinks the misgiving heart, "that so holy a God should accept such a prayer?" Yes, he will accept that which is his own, and pardon that which is ours...

Look at the promises: "Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver you" (Psa. 50:15). "Ask, and it shall be given to you" (Matt. 7:7).

God accepts our prayers, though weak, because we are his own children, and they come from his own Spirit; because they are according to his own will; and because they are offered in Christ’s mediation, and he takes them, and mingles them with his own incense (Rev. 8:3).

There is never a holy sigh, never a tear we shed, which is lost.

And as every grace increases by exercise of itself, so does the grace of prayer. By prayer we learn to pray. So, likewise, we should take heed of a spirit of discouragement in all other holy duties, since we have so gracious a Saviour.

Pray as we are able, hear as we are able, strive as we are able, do as we are able, according to the measure of grace received. God in Christ will cast a gracious eye upon that which is his own...

Let us not be cruel to ourselves when Christ is thus gracious.

There is a certain meekness of spirit whereby we yield thanks to God for any ability at all, and rest quiet with the measure of grace received, seeing it is God’s good pleasure it should be so...

When, with faithful endeavor, we come short of what we would be, and short of what others are, then know for our comfort, Christ will not quench the smoking flax.

You can read the rest here.

words from my friend

What Jesus did on the cross is simply so amazing. With all that was coming down on him in that final week and those final hours he could have said 'enough!' and got down from the cross and walked away, but He didn't. He stayed. For us. And if He did that then He fully loves us and He is fully in control. Of these truths I know you are convinced, and I am so thankful that He has you all in His precious loving hands.

From my friend Natalie.

online meanderings

A theatre called holy week - When God breaks into his own narrative, it's time to sit up and take notice.

Who will teach the women who want to be taught? - We need women who have been trained to teach others. "Brothers, they should not be a threat to you." Amen.

Why Christians should read fiction - Love this! (And see Christian fantasy - why it works, and why it doesn't work.)

My spouse doesn't meet my needs - The kind of expectations it's good to have of your spouse - and of yourself.

Why not to grumble about church in front of your kids - Love the way this post breaks into Bible.

Lessons from a year-long spending fast - Been there, done that, and found some of the same benefits.

In what areas do we need to find contentment? - A list that will search your heart.

When Jesus makes a trusting saint wait in pain, his reasons are only love. God only ordains his child's deep disappointment and profound suffering in order to give him or her far greater joy in the glory he is preparing to reveal (Romans 8:18). Before we know what Jesus is doing, circumstances can look all wrong. And we are tempted to interpret God’s apparent inaction as unloving, when in fact God is loving us in the most profound way he possibly can. So in your anguish of soul, hear Jesus ask with strong affection, “Do you believe this?” Jon Bloom

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