online meanderings - why youth stay in church, investing in small things, doing one thing at a time, and other stuff

A new, simplified online meandering. All my favourites. There is still plenty here! (I'm not good at cutting down.) Hope you find this random list helpful.

Why youth stay in church when they grow up - A must-read for every mum, dad, pastor and youth group leader. Helpful in light of this discussion. John Nielson.

The mathematics of the soils - I needed to hear this! "When I'm in a stage of life where so much of my time is spent serving Jesus in small, unseen ways within my family it is wonderful to remember the power of God that can multiply small seeds and make a big harvest." Nicole.

The magic of doing one thing at a time - I set aside some time to read this - while doing nothing else - and found it very helpful. Tony Schwartz HT Vitamin Z

A labour of love - Carolyn McCulley is writing a new book about women and work. I can't wait!

If you were a missionary, how would you live your life differently? - You already are, so live it where you are. Erik HT Vitamin Z

Listen to a gospel all the way through - What a fantastic way to spend a couple of hours! Jess.

How to destroy your marriage - "At the end of the day, I gave heart service to my time at seminary, but only lip service to Ephesians 5, and it cost me my marriage."

Wasted depression - "Depression should not be wasted." A beautiful, helpful post. Thistletown Baptist HT Challies.

The simple message - "We who love theology, we who take joy in diving into the deep waters of the person and work of God, we need to be so careful, lest we make the message more difficult than it needs to be, lest we forget the simple word that we believed in." Challies.

What pastors do the other 167 hours of the week - "Pastors live under the whip of their flock’s expectations, their own goals of productivity, and their Lord’s standard of excellence."Spare a thought - and a prayer - for your pastor. Clint Archer.

Workaholism - Helpful stuff - though I'm not entirely convinced by the 40 hour week thing. Where does that leave pastors (even the non-workaholic kind) and the rest of us as we work hard for Jesus? Challies.

Motherhood is application - "We take what we believe about God and the gospel and faith and life, and we apply it in the places that seem too little for it." Rachel Jankovic.

Motherhood is a calling - "Everywhere you go, people want to talk about your children. Why you shouldn't have had them, how you could have prevented them, and why they would never do what you have done. They want to make sure you know that you won't be smiling anymore when they are teenagers. All this at the grocery store, in line, while your children listen." Rachel Jankovic (again!).

Make room for suffering - "Visit rural Uganda and tell me with straight face that God wants us to experience a life of ease and wealth, that he’s concerned about what kind of car we drive." - Joel Miller HT Vitamin Z.

Why fairies are better than goblins - Best giggle of the week. Rachael.

If you'd like to see more links, check out my Facebook page or my Twitter feed.

a letter to my readers...

To all my lovely readers,

As you know, I've been trying something new on in all honesty: linking to some of the blog posts I read and enjoy each week in my online meanderings. This is a 6-month experiment, the question(s) of the moment being, "How long can I keep this up? Will it drive me completely crazy?? Just how long does 6 months take???"

Well, it's only 2 months in, and it's driving me just a le-e-e-etle crazy (can you tell?). I'm a black-and-white person, and I find it hard to do things by halves. When I see "57 unread posts" in my RSS folder, what do I do? I read (*cough* skim *cough*) them all!!! Not good for my mental health - or for my poor neglected family. (Actually, they're not neglected, but it is doing my head in.)

So here's Stage 2 of The Grand Linking Experiment. I've pared down my RSS folder and put the must-reads at the top: blogs by friends, women's blogs I love, and some from the wider blogosphere. I'm going to post the links I like on Facebook and Twitter, and put just my favourites in my online meanderings (yes, Jean, you can do it!).

What does this mean for you? If you want to see the blog posts I like, here's how. Just click on one of these links, and like/follow me there:

• in all honesty on Facebook


• jeanhonestly on Twitter

I post links on Facebook and Twitter most days. I'd love to have you join the conversation. Can't wait to see you there!

Love Jean. xxx

image is by MrBG from flickr

why women should read more theology (what I'm reading: Tony Reinke's Lit!)

Do you find it easy, or hard, to read books? Either way, this one's for you.

Top of the list of books I've read recently is Tony Reinke's Lit! A Christian Guide to Reading Books. I'm an avid reader, and I learned heaps about what and how to read. If you struggle to read, I suspect you'll find this book even more helpful.

Maybe you want to read more, but don't know where to start. Maybe you love books, but your reading feels a little aimless. Reinke covers it all, first with a great theology of books, then with a whole heap of practical tips about how to choose and read books.

This week I've chosen a quote that encourages women to read theological books about Jesus. Next week, I'll go for the other end of the scale, and share something about why we should read novels. Just so you can't say I've left anything - or anyone - out!

Theologically weighty books about Christ are essential for the soul—for men and women. And although women purchase the majority of books released by Christian publishers, women are far less likely to read theological books, writes counselor and author Elyse Fitzpatrick. In her 2003 evaluation of the Christian publishing industry, she writes, “Many women are intimidated by the thought of studying something that is ‘theological’ in nature. They are afraid of being bored, looking foolish, becoming unattractive to men, or becoming divisive.”...

She confronts women who would rather read only novels as a way to escape personal disappointments, and who read these books to “build fantasy castles filled with knights on white steeds who will come to rescue her from her mundane, stressful, empty, or disappointing life.” Rather, she offers this challenge: “Let’s become known as a generation of women who delight in, tremble before, receive counsel from, drink, devour, digest, muse upon, and absolutely cherish God and the truth that He’s revealed about Himself and about ourselves. Let’s not worry about whether we look dumb or too smart.”...

If women commit to reading books of solid theology, their knowledge of Christ will grow..."This is the most delightful pursuit any woman could ever know."

(And who should you read? Reinke suggests, among others, John Calvin, Martin Luther, Jonathon Edwards, John Owen, JI Packer, Don Carson, John Stott, John Piper and CH Mahaney. On the topic of Christ, I'd add Tim Chester and Tim Keller. A good place to start is John Stott's The Cross of Christ and Tim Keller's King's Cross - or how about this one, which I haven't read, but it's by The Don, and that's all the recommendation I need: Don Carson's Scandalous: The cross and resurrection of Jesus.)

Quote is from Tony Reinke Lit! A Christian Guide to Reading Books pages 96-97.

of Autumn, apples, and urban myths

Kids are way better than scientists and inventors when it comes to observing new facts about the world. Move over, Isaac Newton and Steve Jobs, it's my turn to discover something! My 5-year-old son, Andy, has come up with his own theory about Autumn:

"Mum, it's Autumn now! That's when the fruit fall from the trees! And then the birds eat them!"

"Well, yes, I guess that's right, although normally it's the leaves... "

So now I have an image in my mind of fruit falling from the trees all at once, like Newton with his apple. Must have been Autumn when he discovered the Universal Law of Gravity.

(Did you know, by the way, that Isaac Newton was an unpleasant man, constantly fighting with his colleagues and seeking to discredit them? Something I discovered from one of my son's science books the other day.)

(And he wasn't really hit on the head by an apple, although it's possible he did discover the law of gravitation in an orchard. And no, it wasn't an apple that Adam and Eve ate either.)

They do say that more people are killed by falling coconuts than by sharks.* Might be a good idea to stay out from under the trees right about now. Unless you're in the Northern hemisphere, of course, in which case it's Spring, the season for eating lemony flowers** - or so says my son.

* This, of course, is probably another urban myth.
** That is, flowers from the lemon clover.

image is by HikingArtist.com at flickr

online meanderings - the making of good wine, receiving criticism, marriage is for losers and other stuff

This week, my top picks were

God loves good wine - The other day my suffering friend was asked by an atheist, who was in tears, "How can your God be so tough on you?". Here, perhaps, is part of the answer: the best wine grows in the poorest conditions. And my friend is good wine. Jon Bloom.

How to receive criticism part 1 - It made me laugh and taught me heaps about responding to criticism. Stephen Altrogge.

Marriage is for losers - "If marriage is going to work, it needs to become a contest to see which spouse is going to lose the most...Losing becomes a way of life, a competition to see who can listen to, care for, serve, forgive, and accept the other the most." Kelly Flanagan HT Challies.

I was challenged by

Who you are when no one except your family is looking - Why you can never just 'be yourself' - even at home. "The barometer of character is best read within the four walls of the home...'It will never be lawful simply to 'be ourselves' until 'ourselves' have become sons of God.'" Great stuff from Cath (and CS Lewis).

The humble apostle - Why Paul's humblest words were "Imitate me." "'Pride can look like arrogant self-confidence, or it can look like timid self-pity. Real humility is courageous un-self-consciousness.'" Challies quoting Jared Wilson.

Gracious candor: A tutorial in speaking the truth in love - Another great post from the biblical counselling folk. Heath Lambert.

I was helped by

Ask personal questions - "You have a beautiful Saviour to offer to those sitting across from you clothed in disgrace and wrapped in shame...Don’t miss the opportunity to provide hope by settling for vague statements when you counsel." Amy Baker.

Complementarian decision making as a couple - Headship and submission when it comes to decision-making. A great description of how it looks in practice. Wayne Grudem.

Creativity, excellence and patience - How long does it take to get good at something like writing? "I didn’t reach out to Gary Smith until I actually had something good for him to read. And you know how long that took me, after college? Six years, that’s how long." Ira Glass with Justin Taylor.

I was encouraged by

A mother's prayer - "I know that God is eager to answer this simple, desperate, prayer on behalf of this helpless, happy, mother." I haven't just adopted two children from Ethiopia, but this still sounds a lot like me. Nicole Whitaker.

Providence is sweet - A beautiful post about the gift of a Bible in your own language. Phil Johnson HT Challies.

Tell me the story one more time - A wonderful death-bed story. Challies.

I was informed by

Facebook security for children - None of our children are on Facebook yet, but once they are, I'll be referring to this very helpful guide. Kellie.

An interview with Daniel B Wallace on the New Testament manuscripts - Why we can trust the New Testament. Justin Taylor.

Why we have to go back to a 40-hour week to keep our sanity - " Every hour you work over 40 hours a week is making you less effective and productive over both the short and the long haul." Sara Robinson HT Gordon Cheng.

I was sobered by

Do you think I'm pretty? - "Daddy, tell your daughter every day she is beautiful and loved by you and the Lord. If you don’t, she will not know how to discern sincere love from lust. Don’t let her find her compliments on Facebook–they need to come from you!" Kellie.

Why we should blame God - "It’s easier in moments of pain...to direct your sorrow, disappointment, and anger at Satan or a broken world or random occurrence...but if we do, we are robbing God..." I just can't get enough of this author! Michael Kelley.

Should I divorce if I'm miserable? - A good answer from Russell D Moore. HT Challies.

I was intrigued by

The already and not yet of hell - Why become a Christian? Because not just heaven, but hell, reach back into this life. Interesting stuff. Dave Dorr.

Facebook's 'dark side': Study finds link to socially aggressive narcissism - "Researchers have established a direct link between the number of friends you have on Facebook and the degree to which you are a "socially disruptive" narcissist." Damien Pearse HT Tim Chester.

Three issues with smartphones in church - Some helpful observations about using electronic devices in church. John Dyer.

I appreciated

Baby shower sermonette - Worth reading if you're about to have a baby. And what a great thing to do at a baby shower! Cathy.

Calling all songwriters - I'm no song-writer, but sounds like good advice to me. Can you do one for blog-writers, Rachael? (Just don't say that blog posts have to be shorter than this one.)

What I've learned about blogging after writing more than 1,000 posts - "I’ve had times when I felt creative and the posts flowed—and times when I couldn’t string two sentences together." Amen to all that. Michael Hyatt HT Vitamin Z.

I loved these quotes

The kingdom of providence - "He sees when you are in danger by temptation, and casts in a providence...to hinder it. He sees when you are sad, and orders reviving providence, to refresh you. He sees when corruptions prevail, and orders humbling providence to purge them." Take it from a 40 year old believer: he does. John Flavel - Of First Importance.

What it means to be a pilgrim - "Pilgrims have not arrived...They are not exactly sure what their destination city will be like; they are driven by a promise...Yet unlike tourists, they are on their way to a settled place and every point along the way is a landmark toward that destination." Michael Horton quoted by Justin Taylor.

I now want to read

Easter readings - Some great readings for families at Easter. Wendy.

A cold day in Hades (In which Tom Cannon blogs. So there.) - And when Tom speaks, I listen. I used to work with the guy. He's wise, even if he is, in his own words, a "curmudgeon".

Pastors in the classics by Leland Ryken - Marilynne Robinson's Gilead, Elizabeth George's The Dean's Watch, Bo Giertz The Hammer of God: three favourites, and counting. I'd love a look at this book! Justin Taylor.

I was puzzled by

A conversation on gospel-centred discipleship - More puzzling stuff on guidance, this time from Gospel Centred Discipleship by Jonathan Dodson. Justin Taylor.

Spiritual disciplines handbook by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun - Can't remember where I saw the link, but I know it was from a blogger I respect. And yes, there is some helpful stuff in this book. But it concerns me to see it mixed up with mystical practices, then recommended on the back cover by Tim Keller.

and these made me smile

Children's book spot: Elizabeth Enright - One of my favourite series for children! Worth looking out for.

A lovely second-hand find - So very beautiful. Ali is fast turning me into a poetry lover...

Country road - *Sigh* Buttercup yellow grass, black road across the landscape...these photos bring back one day on our 7-week journey up the East coast of Australia last year. Unforgettable. Thanks, Susie.

following the fearful apostle

I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. (1 Cor 2:3 NIV)

These words startle and comfort me. They remind me that the apostle Paul felt like I do. He was weak. He feared. He trembled.1 This is exactly how I feel:

• before I read the Bible with friends. What will they think of Jesus? What will they think of his outrageous claims? What will they think of me?


• before I lead a Bible study. Who will turn up? How will the discussion go? Will they want to come back next week?


• before I visit women from other cultures or religions. Will I be able to enter their world? Will I trangress some unspoken cultural law? How can I share the love of Jesus with them?


• before I go out for coffee with a friend. Will I get any opportunities to talk about my faith? Will I have the boldness to take them? Will I know what to say?

I love doing these things, and I love the people I do them with. I bring my fears to God (Phil 4:4-7, 1 Pet 5:6-7), and my worry lessens as my trust and confidence grow.2 But I still feel anxious. I’ve come to accept this – the apprehension that builds over several days, the wakeful hours in the night, the butterflies’ wings tickling my stomach – as part of the cost of living for Jesus (Rom 12:1). Feeling a little nervous is a small price to pay for helping people get to know him.

In all this, Paul is my example. For while he trembled and feared, he never let it stop him talking about Jesus. Instead, he boasted in his weakness because it highlighted Christ’s strength (2 Cor 12:9-10). He became all things to all people, so that by all means he might save some (1 Cor 9:22). He asked people to pray that he wouldn’t give way to fear (Eph 6:18-20). He set his mind on the goodness of God and the love of Christ that would never leave him (Rom 8:18-39). He revelled in the chance to share in Jesus’ suffering (Col 1:24). Why? Because he was compelled by the love of Christ to live not for himself, but for the one who died for him (2 Cor 5:14-15 NIV).

I’ll probably never have as much reason as Paul to fear. I don’t expect to be thrown into prison, shipwrecked, flogged, beaten with rods or pelted with stones (2 Cor 11:23-33). If his troubles were ‘light and momentary’, mine are a speck on the face of eternity. Still, I’m tempted to choose an easier path. So I say to myself, with Paul:

…we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. (2 Cor 4:16-18)

With God’s help, I’ll follow Paul’s example, fears and all.

1. See also 2 Cor 2:4, 7:5, 11:28-29; Gal 4:11; 1 Thess 3:5. ↩
2. This is not the place to develop a theology of anxiety, but if you’re interested, see Ed Welch’s excellent Running Scared: Fear, Worry and the God of Rest. ↩

This post first appeared in The Briefing today.

image is by Rakesh Rocky at flickr

what I'm reading: Eva Ibbotson's Journey to the River Sea

I've just come across a great children's author: Eva Ibbotson. She's British, and writes for children of upper primary age, but she's also written some books for young adults (I haven't tried these yet). She was 85 when she died in October last year, so perhaps I should be using the past tense - but it's hard to do that with an author who's still new to you.

She's a skilful and sparkling writer. Her heroines and heroes are likeable and original, and display great qualities like loyalty and courage. Their stories begin in ordinary places like British boarding schools of the best story-book kind, but end up in far-off locations like Austria and the Amazon, where they escape from deliciously villainous villains, stage daring rescues, and explore mysterious places. Here are two of my favourite passages from Journey to the River Sea:

'Come along, it's time we opened my trunk.'

Miss Minton had been poor all her life. She had no trinkets, no personal possessions; her employers underpaid her when they paid her at all - but her trunk was an Aladdin's cave. There were travel books and fairy tales, novels and dictionaries and collections of poetry...

'How did you get them all?' Maia asked wonderingly. 'How did you manage?'

Miss Minton shrugged.

'If you want something enough you usually get it. But you have to take what goes with it,' - and she pointed to her shabby blouse and mended skirt.

I learned some wisdom from that quote. And this one:

'I have looked after some truly dreadful children in my time and it was easy not to get fond of them. After all, a governess is not a mother. But Maia...well, I'm afraid I grew to love her. And that meant I began to think what I would do if she was my child.'

'And you would let her-' began Mr Murray.

But Miss Minton stopped him. 'I would let her... have adventures. I would let her... choose her path. It would be hard... it was hard... but I would do it. Oh, not completely, of course. Some things have to go on. Cleaning one's teeth, arithmetic. But Maia fell in love with the Amazon. It happens. The place was for her - and the people. Of course there was some danger, but there is danger everywhere. Two years ago, in this school, there was an outbreak of typhus and three girls died. Children are knocked down and killed by horses every week, here in these streets.' She broke off, gathering her thoughts. 'When she was travelling and exploring... and finding her songs Maia wasn't just happy; she was... herself. I think something broke in Maia when her parents died, and out there it was healed. Perhaps I'm mad...but I think children must lead big lives... if it is in them to do so.'

From Journey to the River Sea pages 49, 294.

online meanderings - tiredness in motherhood, disciplining daughters, tweeting for God's glory and other stuff

This week, my top picks were

Spent, but gladly spent - "The difference between [bitterly, resignedly, self-pityingly] 'spent' and 'gladly spent' is at least partly the difference between being 'eaten alive' by your children and pouring out your life for them." How I needed this! Nicole.

Mothering styles - How to make mothering - or life - work for your personality type. Fantastic ideas for re-energising so you can go back to serving. Love it! Thank, Rachel.

On misreading daughters - The importance of really listening when it comes to disciplining girls. "You cannot fire off an answer to whatever seems to be happening...without seeing where they feel threatened...And to do that, you need to find out first." Lizzie Jank.

I was encouraged by

On parenting a pre-teen and the survival thereof - Yeah, I didn't believe it either - until I had a pre-teen. A brief, tough stage. "It is for us to hang on, to stand strong, to remain firm, and to love our kids as they make the hard transition from child to teenager." Lisa.

What I noticed while watching my friend - "She uses Mondays as a "reset" day" - just like me! The rest isn't much like me at all. Some helpful ideas for being "busy around the home". Jess.

Forgiveness for mums who fail - 'Nuff said. Robert Jones.

I loved

Earth's crammed with heaven - Ali helps me to fall in love with Christian poetry - like this stunning poem by Elizabeth Barrett-Browning.

Dads, sing like you mean it because your kids are watching you - "My father was a wonderfully eccentric man...When he would catch me looking at him he would simply 'lock-eyes' with me and sing all the louder while he broadened his grin to match proportion with his pleasure." Keith McCracken.

Hanging in the balance - The difficulty of balancing life and commitments as a mum. Sounds uncomfortably familiar. Thanks for the honesty, Bek!

I enjoyed

Just how big is God and just how small are we? - "Once upon a time a very young angel was being shown round the splendours and glories of the universes by a senior and experienced angel..." Justin Taylor quotes from JB Phillips.

Be a real husband and dad (while you're studying theology) - "Way too much is at stake with our families right now to just go through the motions while we prepare ourselves for some future ministry." Jonathon Parnell.

Serving up Tweets - "What I aim at...is another person being able to click in and click out quickly, with maximum benefit to their souls....I want to ask little of them, and add much to them." Tony Reinke interviews Ray Ortland.

I appreciated

Confessions from a recovering pride addict - "Cancer chewed her up and spit her out right there on the hospital bed...She was dying — really dying — and I’m worried about looking stupid and thinking of ways to not cry...Compassion is always the right thing to do, even if you fumble when you do it." Amy.

There is hope - "Parents of kids with autism are under a terrific amount of stress. Many of these children don't sleep at night. They wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning, and one of the parents has to get up, because they need constant supervision." God's hope in a hopeless situation. Greg Lucas HT Challies

Contentment - "From this distance, all the annoying bits have fallen away like dross...I think contentment is the art of looking at the present the way you look at the past and the future." Rebekah.

I was informed by

The mistakes of Phillip Jensen - A fantastic interview, especially the last paragraph. "Ministry...is no career move...for someone who wants an easy life or a nice life...You are following the crucified one."

Preaching: to Tweet or not to Tweet - Should we tweet during sermons? An interesting post by Sandy, and an interesting discussion in the comments, contributed to somewhat inanely by moi (knitting, anyone?).

Is it God-centred to praise people?; Moving from fuzzy platitudes to concrete praise; Praising others is not optional - The when, why and how of praising people. Sam Crabtree.

I'd now like to read

Isaiah by the day: A new devotional translation by Alec Motyer - I'm reading Isaiah at the moment, and this looks good. HT Challies.

Sex, dating and relationships: A fresh approach by Gerald Hiestand and Jay S. Thomas - Looks like it would be a promising addition to books about this subject on my shelf. HT Challies.

and this made me giggle.

15 grammar goofs that make you look silly - Grammar the easy way. You know you need it. CopyBlogger HT Vitamin Z.

staying energised as a mum whatever your personality type

Two days ago I asked: how do you cope if you're a parent and an introvert? After you responded, I realised that coping can be just as hard when you're an extrovert, cooped up at home all day - but that the solutions will be different.

My friend Rachel send me a wonderful link for mothers (and others) that I wish I'd read 13 years ago. She wrote,

Jean, have you checked out motherstyles.com? They have this cool energy plan. It comes up with a list of ways you can be energised according to each of your four Myers Briggs letters. I love it!

Whether you're a mum or not, take the quiz (or this one if you're not a mum): it's well worth it. It will help you understand your mothering style: why you relate to your kids the way you do. Best of all, mum or not, it will give you four ways to refuel, to keep your energy for the long haul.

If you're wondering, I'm an INFJ, which makes me a 'know thyself' mum: 'I believe the joy of motherhood is self-discovery—for them and for me.' My self-care plan shows that I'm re-energised by time alone; time for reflection; a break from others' needs; and structure. Quadruple whammy. And I thought it was just because I was an introvert...

What's your type? What have you learned about your mothering style and how to stay energised in mothering? I'd love to hear from you!

a question for those of you who are parents and introverts

A friend of mine with young children commented on Facebook, "Today it is hard to be a parent & an introvert."

I responded, "Oh, yes, if walls could tell!!" (I meant "talk", of course, but I'm always getting my sayings mixed up.)

She asked, "What do you do to cope, Jean?"

Here's my (edited) response about my years at home with young children,

What didn't I do, do you mean? What I should have done - and didn't - was to take Carolyn Mahaney's excellent advice and my husband's offer and go away on my own for a day or two a few times a year (once my babies were old enough). What I did do, that helped, was to get up early to spend some time with God (not possible with babies when you're exhausted) and/or went for a walk to pray a little later while my husband minded the kids, had a nanny nap in the early afternoon while the kids slept or watched a DVD, and spent a morning on my own once a week (when I could) at a local park to sip a chai latte, write in my journal, go for a walk and pray.

Do you have any other suggestions for my friend - and for me?

Please share them here.