The other day I filled our car with petrol. It was one of those muggy Melbourne mornings, and hot air hit me full in the face when I stepped out of the car.
As I sweated gently in the heat, petrol fumes writhing through the air around me, I imagined the fuel igniting, and the car and myself being consumed by a huge ball of flame. I often do this when I fill the car with petrol. (And now you will too, sorry about that.)
I even peopled my mental scene with the faces of innocent bystanders, filled with horror, then touched with relief that it wasn't them, as they dialed 000 on their mobiles.
I think I have an over-active imagination.
Why does the mind entertain such awful possibilities? The police knocking on my door with news of a car accident. The petrol tanker looming over us on the freeway exploding. Finding one of my children face-down in the bath.
Perhaps mentally replaying such horrors helps us prevent or prepare for tragedy and disaster.
Questions go through my mind: Am I prepared? Would I be able to stay hopeful in the face of pain or disability? Could I go on trusting in a God who allowed someone I love to die? Am I strong enough to face suffering for the sake of Christ? Am I ready to meet God face to face?
Foolish questions, for I trust God to give me the grace I need when (and not before) I need it. Yet not so foolish, if they remind me of my absolute dependence on God, encourage me to think God's thoughts about suffering, and help me to live for heaven rather than earth. If they make me hold tighter to the hand of God.
I know one thing for certain: none of these eventualities, dreadful as they are, will ever be able to separate me from the love of God which is mine through faith in Christ.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-9
(The book that has helped me most in preparing for suffering is Don Carson's How Long O Lord. It's a wonderful read.)
2 comments:
I am the same with my over-active imagination. Have you seen the movie 'Look Both ways'? Dave says I remind him of the woman in that (played by Justine Clarke) who imagines all sorts of disasters in everyday life.
It's nice to be reminded of a biblical perspective to life's worries.
Thanks.
As I sweated gently in the heat, petrol fumes writhing through the air around me, I imagined the fuel igniting, and the car and myself being consumed by a huge ball of flame. I often do this when I fill the car with petrol.
It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has paranoid fears like that! Particularly when I first starting driving, I had this crazy fear that when I started the car again after filling up with petrol, it would explode. I don't even know if that's physically possible!
Foolish questions, for I trust God to give me the grace I need when (and not before) I need it. Yet not so foolish, if they remind me of my absolute dependence on God, encourage me to think God's thoughts about suffering, and help me to live for heaven rather than earth. If they make me hold tighter to the hand of God.
I really like the way you put that. It's really encouraging. Thanks!
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