songs for the discouraged

Yesterday I was reminded of such a simple thing to do when you're feeling discouraged.

The black dog was sitting on my shoulder all day. It was one of those days all mothers are familiar with, when you feel like you spend all day mooching around the house, listlessly doing chores and responding to children's tantrums, but achieving nothing of any value. I did an hour or so's cleaning, but I also wasted vast acres of time: or that's how it felt.

By school pick-up time I'd lost any impetus I had when the day began. I was sitting, staring into space, close to tears, wondering how anyone - friends, family, God - could possibly love such a useless blot on the face of the earth as me.

While I was cooking dinner, I did something I haven't done for a while: I put on a Christian music CD. It happened to be Valley of Vision, but it could just have well have been Jars of Clay or City on a Hill. And - just like that! - the black dog turned tail and ran away, and my focus shifted from my own glooms and inadequacies, to Jesus' death on the cross for me, and his wonderful, amazing, irresistible grace.

I think I might add that to my list of things to do when you're depressed. Allowing others to preach the gospel to you when you're struggling to preach it to yourself: now there's wisdom.

John Piper on the Holy Spirit in the Trinity

While I'm taking a couple of weeks away from intensive blogging, and while you all get hold of Feminine Appeal and start reading it ;), I thought I'd tie up a couple of loose ends on my Enjoying God series.

It occured to me - and one of you pointed it out! - that in my post on how God feels about being God, I talked a lot about the Father and Son's delight in each other, but not much about the Holy Spirit. So I was excited when I read what Piper had to say about this topic during my morning reading:

I have stressed (from texts like Hebrews 1:3; Colossians 1:15; 2:9; Philippians 2:6; 2 Corinthians 4:4; and John 1:1) that the Son of God is the mirroring-forth of God the Father himself in his own self-consciousness. God has a perfectly clear and full idea of all his own perfections. This image of God is so complete and perfect that it is, in fact, the standing forth of God the Son, a person in his own right. ...

Now what about the Holy Spirit? I find it helpful to observe that the mind of God, as reflected in our own, has two faculties: understanding and will (with emotions being the more lively acts of the will). In other words, before creation God could relate to himself in two ways: God could know himself and God could love himself. In knowing himself he begot the Son, the perfect, full, and complete personal image of himself. In loving himself the Holy Spirit proceeded from the Father and the Son.

So the Son is the eternal image that the Father has of his own perfections, and the Holy Spirit is the eternal love that flows between the Father and the Son as they delight in each other.

How can this love be a person in his own right? Words fail, but can we not say that the love between the Father and the Son is so perfect, so constant, and carries so completely all that the Father and Son are in themselves that this love stands forth as a person in his own right?

John Piper A Godward Life pp. 73-4.

image is from stock.xchng

Valori on balancing home-making and ministry

I want to share with you this response to the question how do I balance home-making and ministry?. It's from a letter I received from Valori, the wife of Kenneth Maresco, one of the executive pastors at Josh Harris' Covenant Life Church, where C.J.Mahaney used to be the senior pastor. She talks about the example of Carolyn Mahaney, who wrote Feminine Appeal and gave the talks To Teach What is Good, which we'll be looking at together this term. Here's what she says:

I came from a background of a very strong “ministry” mentality. What I mean by that is that being a full-time minister was highly esteemed over, say, a “secular” job. It wasn’t necessarily stated that way, but that was what was clearly transferred. We were all young, zealous college students or recent graduates, and our passion was to spread the gospel. Full-time ministry seemed to be the most whole-hearted way to do it.

When I got married and moved from Guatemala to Maryland to be a part of the church here, I began to see a different model. The women seemed to be so content as wives, mothers, and homemakers. Carolyn Mahaney had young children, and although she was leading the women’s ministry and the pastors’ wives at the time, it was clear that her number one priority was her home. I began to understand more and more of the calling and value of being a wife and mother.

As I began to have children, Kenneth (my husband, of course) and I were leading a caregroup (what other people might call a small group or a house group), and I was busy leading the ladies and caring for the women within the group. Right before our third son was born, Kenneth became a pastor at Covenant Life, so I had 3 children 3 and under at the time that I was beginning my journey as a young pastor’s wife. Thankfully, I had the example of so many women around me who provided encouragement that I was doing the most important job I could be doing. There was never any pressure at all for me to feel that I should be doing more ministry outside the home. I mainly focused on caring for my children, having groups into our home, and being by Kenneth’s side to reach out in the public ministry contexts that he was a part of.

A few years later, however, the Lord graciously helped me see something that was in my heart and that was hindering me from enjoying the peace and contentment I should have been experiencing in my role. It was very simple, really, but I was blinded by the deceitfulness of my own sin at the time. A dear friend called me after I had been complaining about how hard it was with my three children (I’m sure I probably did it in a joking way in order not to be blatantly sinful!) and humbly shared with me that it didn’t seem that I was content with being a wife and mother. Was there, she asked, possibly some selfish ambition in my heart that wanted to do ministry for my own satisfaction and glory?

The answer for me was “yes.” (And I am definitely not saying that is what is going on in other people’s hearts.) I think it was because I still didn’t have a biblical conviction that what I was doing at home was really that significant to God or others. I think the “significant to God” issue was a matter of growing even more in biblical convictions, and the “significant to others” had a lot more to do with me and my own glory. Serving at home is a lot of serving in secret. It’s a lot of doing things that are constantly undone. It’s a lot of work on things that nobody notices unless they aren’t done. So part of my discontentment, if I was honest with myself, was that I wanted to be doing something that made me feel significant. Somehow I would get feeling significant mixed up in my mind with being significant even before the Lord, if that makes sense.

Since that time, through different teachings, repentance, and trials, I have seen the grace of God busy at work in my heart, and I can honestly say that I LOVE the primary ministry God has given me – loving and supporting my husband and loving and caring for my children!

I personally think that the error in thinking comes in when we form a dichotomy between ministry outside the home and ministry inside the home. Do I think there is inherently something more significant or important about leading a ladies’ meeting than I do about my service at home? If all of life is to be spent in service to God, any sphere of service he gives me is important to his kingdom, and Scripture is clear that serving in secret is esteemed by the Lord.

In really throwing myself into seeing this ministry of wife and mom as my number one priority and not seeing my life as being on hold for some time in the future when I will be able to really do something to serve the Lord full time, I have experienced great peace and contentment, and I have found it so much easier to wisely determine which outside ministry activities I am to pursue. And I have actually found that so much of my other ministry flows out of my ministry in my home. Believe me, there is never any shortage of opportunities to minister, and learning to live this way has mainly helped me to learn when I should say, “No.”

I think your friend mentioned that she wanted to know that she was not just being submissive, but that she was doing the right thing. I think the way I prefer to think about it is that, if I am asking for my husband’s input and following his leadership, I don’t need to worry about whether or not I’m doing the right thing because God has called me to be this man’s helper. If I have questions or disagreements about what I should be doing, we can always discuss those things and even bring other couples into the discussion if we can’t resolve something, but ultimately God has made his will known to me in that he has called me submit to my husband. Thankfully, I have a godly and humble husband, and what I most often need from him is help in knowing what he would see as a priority at different times. Sometimes he will say, “I don’t think this is something you should really devote your time to right now with all that is going on with the children,” and other times he may say, “I think this is pretty important, and even though it will be challenging to juggle with your responsibilities at home, I think it’s something you should do.” And there are times when he says, “I think it would be good if you could do this,” and I say, “What? Are you crazy? Do you know how busy I am?” Well, I don’t actually say those words, but what those times lead to is a discussion of whether or not it would truly be unwise for me to do that given my priorities at home, or whether I am just in unbelief at the time and need to trust that God will meet me as I pursue that course.

Overall, though, I would say that I have been able to look at ministry outside the home as simply another way I can serve the Lord when my priorities at home are in line. There has been a lot less striving when I can’t seem to do all I want to do, and a contentment based in faith in God. Even in the busiest seasons of my life with a new baby, home-schooling a new elementary student, and home-schooling through high school, I’ve seen God provide other ministry opportunities where I’ve been able to serve the women. However, now I don’t look at those as real or more important ministry anymore — just a different way to serve. That has been a big transformation for me, and I think it has been the result of the Lord helping me to humble myself and be content and thankful with where he has called me.

school holidays soundtrack

Our school holidays are about to finish here in Melbourne. We've had a great time, with outings to the Show and the park, visits to Grandma's and friends' houses, and lots of days playing at home.

Here's the soundtrack that greets me when I come in the door after my morning walk. You'll have to imagine all these sounds laid over each other concurrently. I think the Beetles called it the "wall of noise". If it's classical music you're into, think of it as counterpoint.

Elizabeth (9) and Ben (8) are playing Pokemon, and pretending to fight each other, laughing loudly:
Lizzy (shouting) - Metranome!
Ben (shouting) - Razer Punch!
Lizzy - Drowsy ... Drowsy ... Drowsy ...
Ben - Lavatar! Lavatar! Lavatar!
Lizzy - It didn't hurt, Ben. I use Screech Attack!
Ben - Poke Ball! Rolling Kick!
Lizzy - Slam Attack!
Ben - Body Slam! ... etc.

Thomas (5) is singing at the top of his voice:
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall / Humpty Dumpty had a great fall / All the king's horses and all the king's men / Couldn't put Humpty together again.

Andrew (1) is singing a completely unrelated tune, while banging 2 cymbals together:
Da, da-da-da, da, da, da-da-da

And on that note, I leave you to return to the last days of our holidays (the kids go back to school on Tuesday). Imagine us in the noise, chaos, and mess, and you will know that we are (mostly) happy.

original picture of the Royal Melbourne Show is from September's calendar image by Elizabeth; she used oil pastels and watercolour

The Feminist Mistake

While we're talking about books to read, don't forget that Jennie Baddeley is discussing Mary Kassian's The Feminist Mistake at Equip Books this month. Jennie's great value, and her first post will inspire you to read along.

next term at in all honesty

We'll soon be starting a new series on Biblical womanhood at in all honesty.

You may be aware that Equip Books has just finished Feminine Appeal. I know many of you have been reading along. I've enjoyed reading the book, listening to the talks the book is based on, and reading Nicole's excellent posts at Equip Books. It's raised lots of issues for me, and I know some of you are planning to read the book this term, so I thought we'd look at Biblical womanhood together.

Can I suggest you do one of three things:
- get a copy of Feminine Appeal, and read it along with me, a chapter a week;
- download the talks To Teach What is Good the book is based on, and listen to one a week;
- if you've done both already, contribute thoughts and comments to our discussions.

The book and talks are based on Titus 2:3-5, but the Bible has a lot to say about Biblical womanhood, so we'll cast our net a little wider. Here's some topics I'd like to cover:

• teaching and training younger women in Biblical womanhood
• fearing God and living in his grace
• loving our husbands
• loving our children
• being self-controlled, temperate, and prudent
• being pure, and caring for our husbands sexually
• managing our homes, being hard-working rather than idle
• being kind, and rich in good deeds - caring for relatives, offering hospitality, serving fellow believers, helping the needy
• submission, and the gentle, quiet, trusting spirit which makes submission possible
• using our words for faithful instruction, rather than gossip, slander and quarreling
• the unfading beauty of a godly woman

I won't reinvent the wheel, I'll direct you to Nicole's excellent posts at Equip Books. I'll also point you in the direction of some other useful posts, talks and books, share my own struggles and what I've learnt, discuss how to train younger women in these qualities, and try to answer questions you've asked me about these issues. Hopefully we can talk a bit about how they apply to single women too.

Another book you might want to read with me is Pilgrim's Progress. In November, I'll be posting some discussions on this book at Equip Books. This book has taught me so much about persevering in the Christian life, battling sin and Satan, and keeping to the straight and narrow way. Even if you only read a children's version to your kids, you'll be encouraged in your Christian life, and it will make the discussion more interesting for you.

So grab a copy of these great books, download Carolyn Mahaney's talks, and start reading and listening!

potatoes, potatoes, potatoes

Don't you just love a bargain?

A couple of weeks ago, I saw potatoes for half price at our local supermarket. There's 6 people in our family, and we eat a lot of potatoes. So I bought six 3kg bags of potatoes.

Ok, maybe I overdid it.

I came home, and piled the bags into the corner cupboard. Three days later, I opened one of the plastic packets (well, they were ventilated) to discover that the potatoes were already starting to go mouldy. So into a big cloth sack they went, and back into the cupboard.

Two weeks later, and as you can see, the potatoes are starting to grow roots. We are still eating potatoes.

Mashed potatoes.
Cottage pie.
Baked potatoes with topping.
Scalloped potatoes.
Potato pancakes.
Boiled potatoes.
Lancashire hotpot.
Roast potatoes.
Potato and leek soup.

Any other ideas for good ways to eat potatoes?

Q&A: how do I balance home-making and minstry?

One of you asked me a brilliant question in the comments today. It's a question I could have put my own name to (minus some of the specifics) and I could do with your wisdom on this too! So I thought I'd share it, and see if anyone has any ideas, before attempting an answer myself. Here it is:

I was wondering if you had any ideas on where to draw the line with different avenues of ministry. What I mean is probably best illustrated by this more specific question:

I have a husband and four children. At what point to I draw the line and say "I've ministered enough to my husband (his shirts will be hung up but they won't get ironed) and my children (they can go to a Christian school and not be homeschooled after all)" so that I can then say, "now it's time for me to minister to others outside my family (lead a Bible study, take on a class of Sunday school kids, or just sit and chat with the next door neighbour who's recently divorced and hurting)"?

This is a very real problem for me because my husband will soon be a minister (well, if he gets through all the interviews) and I want to support his work in whatever church congregation we end up with but I also know I have a very real responsibility to be "busy at home" and I don't want to shirk my duty just to get on with the fun or exciting stuff outside our home.

I know there is an element of needing to submit to my husband's leading in this, but I'd also like to know my choices are right because they're right, not just because I'm being obedient in making them.

Ideas? Comments?

In more general terms, if we're married with kids, how do we work out the balance between caring for our husband, children, and home, and doing ministry outside the home, whether it's serving in our church, or caring for people in our community?

dare to do things badly

Our minister is a very godly man: he has chosen to do something he's less good at for the sake of the gospel. Let me explain.

John often says that he was a much better doctor than he is a minister. (NB: I find this hard to believe.) But he was so convinced of the importance of helping people understand, believe and obey the Bible, that he gave up medicine for full-time paid Christian ministry.

This was a much harder decision for John to make than most of us. You see, John, like me, is a perfectionist. And, believe me, perfectionists like to stick to the things they're best at, and they like to do them well. ...

Here's a list of some of the things I'm bad at: ...

Read the rest at Sola Panel

a place for you

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."

Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:1-6

I went to a very sad, and very beautiful funeral yesterday, for a godly woman who spent her life loving and serving God. She asked to have this Bible passage read out at her funeral.

One blessing of a funeral, especially when it's for someone closer to us in age, is that it makes us reflect on our own mortality.

It was good to be reminded that, although we may grieve for the people and places we will leave behind when it's our turn to face death, if we trust in Jesus, we can be sure that God has prepared a new home for us, where there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.

image is by Segovia Alcazar from flickr.com