household management (5) tidying and cleaning

Now for something a little less complicated than budgeting (although to look at my house today you wouldn't think so): keeping the house clean and tidy. With thanks to everyone who shared their ideas.

To keep the house tidy, 'pick up 5' whenever you get home or have a spare moment. Get into the habit of putting a few things away as you go from room to room. Don't let yourself start a 'hot spot' - a pile of junk to be put away another time - instead, when you pick something up, carry the job through to completion (an opened envelope, a school notice, a dropped toy). Tell me if you ever manage this.

The key to tidiness is de-cluttering: having less stuff. Go clockwise around the room and pick up 5 things to throw or give away. Repeat. Repeat again. Then take that bag to the bin or op-shop straight away. (I'm hopeless at this - a natural hoarder! - but I'm starting to discover the joy in getting rid of stuff.)

Make cleaning fun. Put on some music and dance your way through the jobs. Or get a headset on your phone and chat to a friend (I'm so much more productive when I'm talking to someone!). Or hand your toddler a broom and get them involved. Take a moment to bask in the cleanliness once you've done - very motivating!

You can give your house a basic clean in about an hour: I know, I do it most weeks (floors, bathrooms and toilets). Keep everything in one place - cleaning products, sponges etc. - and create a routine that works for you and that you can move through without thinking. For this weekly clean, you don't need to be too thorough, just do the important bits...but the rest also needs to be done, so...

Add 10 minutes to your weekly cleaning (or grab any spare 10 minutes you have) and do one extra job e.g. wash some windows, clean out the fridge, de-cobweb the ceilings, wipe down the walls. Keep a list of these jobs as you notice them for a spare moment when you can't think what to do next. Living in a place more than 5 years makes you realise that spring cleaning really does need to happen!

Get the kids involved. Use chore lists to encourage kids to do daily jobs like dishes. Set aside an hour or two on Saturday mornings when the whole family does chores around the house and yard. (I've written quite a lot about chores and kids.)

If you want a more thorough guide to planning chores, check out FlyLady or Motivated Moms.

What about you? Any ideas for keeping on top of the mess? Share them here.

You can follow this series here.

image is by Aunty Cookie from flickr

5 books that changed who I am (2) young adulthood

You might remember that before I went away, I started blogging through this meme, from the lovely Nic, about the books which changed who I am. It was supposed to be one post; since I'm a rambler, I turned it into several. Here's the second.

2. early adulthood - learning to think with God
During my late teens and early 20s my theological foundations were firmed up: what I believe about Jesus, the Bible, God's sovereignty, womanhood, and all kinds of other things. This happened through Bible reading and conversations and prayer - and, yes, books, so it's hard to pick one that changed me most!

I'll go with JI Packer's Knowing God. I must have read the first few chapters a dozen times (and never quite made it to the end of the book!). Packer taught me that knowing God is more than knowing about God, showed me how to meditate on God's truth until it shapes my mind and feelings, and helped me get to know our great God.

Runners up: John Stott The Cross of Christ, Don Carson How Long O Lord, Graham Goldsworthy Gospel and Kingdom, JC Ryle Holiness, and John Piper and Wayne Grudem Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.

What about you? Which books have shaped the way you think? Tell us here.

the idols of a parent

There’s nothing like parenting to reveal your true values.

My 12-year-old daughter started secondary school this year. It’s an anxious time for any parent. Your mind fills with questions: will she settle well into her new school? How will she cope with the extra homework? Will she make good friends? Will she make any friends?

During the first few months of the school year, I found myself passionately wanting the oddest things (and talking about them passionately to my husband, who will confirm that I became just a tad neurotic). It seems I want my daughter to:

• be popular (I want people to like her) but not too popular (I don't want her to be overly influenced by her peers)


• get all her work done, on time, to a high standard (I don't want her - or, more tellingly, me - to lose face)


• dress trendily (I don't want her to look daggy) but not too trendily (I don't want her to be a fashion victim)


• be friendly to the unpopular kids (I want her to be kind) but not too friendly (I don't want her to be unpopular by association)


• keep to a high(ish) standard in her piano practice (I want her to be accomplished, but I'm not one of those pushy mothers)


• be upfront about her faith (I want her to stand up for Jesus) but not too upfront (I don't want the other kids to think she's weird)


• be happy at school (I don't want her to be unhappy) but no so happy that she hates being at home (I want her to love me as much as ever)


• go to church even when it’s not fun (I want her to learn to serve) but also to have fun there (I don’t want her to hate church)1

Sorry about all the double negatives; but the truth is, there are a lot of bad(?) things I don’t want for her. Especially, it seems, unpopularity (probably because I was a bit of a dag myself, and hated it; like most parents, I visit my own disappointments on my children).

These desires lead to all kinds of strange behaviour. Like constant, nagging reminders about homework and music practice. Like asking my daughter if she needs more fashionable clothes (gulp!) and exploring the trendy teen stores a week before she goes to camp. Like frequent, irritating questions about her friendships. Like talking a lot, in front of her, about whether our church serves her needs.

After all this, there’s no doubt in either of our minds about what matters to me.

So what matters to me? What am I communicating to my daughter are the significant things in life? It seems these things are far more important to me than I realized:

• popularity


• trendiness (where did that come from?!)


• academic success


• impressing people


• achievement


• happiness


• having your needs met.

Some of these goals look innocent enough. Who wouldn’t want happiness and academic success for their children? But without me noticing, these goals grow bigger than God. I worry and nag. I spend more than I should (and teach my daughter to do the same). I get angry and impatient. I talk about things that don’t matter. I try to shape my daughter to my desires. Our relationship, predictably enough, suffers; and her godliness suffers too.

Acceptance. Achievement. A good education. What I want for my children, I want for me.

As so often in parenting, it’s time for repentance. It’s time to confess my idolatry to my daughter. It’s time for some honest conversations about what really matters: serving rather than being served, valuing inner more than outer beauty, caring for others even if you lose face, choosing friends wisely, pursuing godliness over success, and standing up for Jesus even when it makes you unpopular.


1. When my daughter was younger the idols were a little different: the approval of parenting experts, a child whose behavior impresses others, an ‘educational’ toy collection – just to name a few. (And a good night's sleep, of course.)

This post first appeared on The Briefing today.

image is by mermay19 from flickr

for grandmothers who look after their grandchildren

I keep bumping into grandparents at school and pre-school who are dropping off or picking up their grandchildren. Often they have a weary look! The reason for this becomes clear as we chat.

One bent-over elderly woman raises her two spunky, energetic granddaughters full-time because her daughter isn't capable of caring for them.

One woman who looks to be in her fifties or sixties has 5 (yes, 5!) grandchildren aged 5-16 living at her house - and I can tell you, the 5 year old is a handful!

One woman (and this is a composite) cares for her grandchildren 1/3/5/7 days a week (not excluding weekends) because her daughter/son(s) and son-in-law/daughter-in-law(s) work part/full-time.

They've raised one generation, and they're helping to raise another. They're older and tireder this time around. They probably weren't expecting this. But they do it out of love for their grandchildren - and sometimes from a sense of desperation (who else will do it if they don't?) - driven by the changing patterns of society, and by their children's choices, desires and/or needs.

I was encouraged this morning to read this blog post, addressed from one godly woman in this situation to other women in this situation:

Nana Nanny.

Enjoy!

a new venture for me

I want to let you know about an exciting new venture for me. Have a look at this new website (or new version of an old website) - just click on the image -


- and you'll see my photo, mercifully small, in the middle near the top. Yes, that is me, although you might need a magnifying glass to see me if you're on your iPhone! :)

You probably already know I write for the Australian evangelical magazine The Briefing
and what used to be their blog, Sola Panel. Well, they have a new website (the same address as the old one minus the '.au'), a new blog and a new online magazine (the print version of The Briefing will only come out every 2 months from now on).

They asked me to be one of their 5 blog writers (the others are all guys, 2 in Australia, 1 in the UK, and 1 in the US) and in a moment of flattered optimism (actually, after a few weeks' praying and talking about it) I said 'yes'. It feels very strange being the 'female blogger' on their website, so pray for me and tell me if I go off track! I'd like to know if what I write is encouraging for women (and men) who read.

What all that means for this blog, I'm not sure. It will certainly keep me writing at least one vaguely interesting post a week! I'm planning to keep in all honesty going for now, at least until the end of the year, when I'll do my annual (bi-annual? quadruple-annual?) re-think.

Although I'm realising that less self-absorbed re-thinking of what I'm doing, and more loving and serving others, might be helpful. In one sense, it doesn't matter what particular ministry I do, as long as I make Jesus known.

May God give you and me love and wisdom so that, in whatever ways God gives us, we can encourage one another to grow into the fullness of Christ.

home again

Home again! Here we are, back in Melbourne after a 7-week trip up the East coast of Australia, driving over 7000 kms from Melbourne to Cairns and back again.

We pulled a camper-trailer (one of those things that folds out into a tent) behind a 4-wheel drive, stayed with friends and camped, did lots of driving and saw lots of scenery, and visited some amazingly beautiful places. It was great to get physically and mentally away from everything for a couple of months.

Best of all was spending so much time together as a family. It was difficult at times - family arguments are embarrassing when you're only a canvas-wall away from other campers! - but I think we know each other better and appreciate one another more, which is especially helpful with our older children so close to becoming teenagers.

If you're interested, our itinerary looked like this:

Lakes Entrance (1 night of very windy camping)
Eden (2 nights of windy, cold camping at lovely Twofold Bay)
Canberra (3 nights in a house; we loved Canberra, especially the War Memorial, where we could have spent a whole day)
Sydney (4 nights staying with some very dear friends; highlights: Botany Bay, the ferry from Circular Key to Manly, and the view across the grand old Rocks to the Harbour Bridge and Opera House at sunset)
Narromine (2 nights at my aunt and uncle's cotton and wheat farm near Dubbo, chasing kangaroos in the ute and learning how cotton grows)
Armidale (where I was born - 1 night amongst the old houses and older trees)
Brunswick Heads (8 nights at my aunt's house in one of my favourite childhood holiday spots; we swam in the river and at the white sand beach, visited the theme parks, and watched dolphins surf the sunset waves at the most westerly point in Australia near Byron Bay lighthouse)
Rainbow Beach (4 nights camping - that's the rainbow cliffs in the photo above; we took a ferry to Fraser Island, the largest sand island in the world, where we saw wild dingoes scarily close, and did some hilarious track and glorious beach 4-wheel driving)
The Caves (1 night; the only rain we saw for a month, and some interesting caves)
Airlie Beach (3 nights; peaceful moments swimming in the lagoon, looking up at palm trees and across to the boats in the bay and the Whitsunday islands)
Cairns (7 nights and the best time of all; we rode across the mountains in a gondala, swam with a giant turtle at the Great Barrier Reef, and camped with our backs to the rainforest, with bush turkeys underfoot and butterflies overhead)
Magnetic Island (5 nights off the coast of Townsville; a magical place where we swam in the quiet bays, fed the rock wallabies and rainbow lorikeets, and did a little bushwalking)

At which point my husband Steve got sick and we hurried home, stopping for a repeat visit to some very rainy theme parks and a few hours in Canberra before turning into our driveway at 2 o'clock during a cold, dark Melbourne night.

We're all sick now, so you can pray for us. But after all that camping, mountains of unpacking, and a few out-of-body days readjusting to ordinary life, it's good to be back in the comfort and routines of home.

the next 7 weeks or so...

Hi, everyone! Just letting you know that Steve and I have just embarked on 7 weeks of long-service leave as a family, and, as I anticipated earlier this year, I won't be blogging during this time.

This is a wonderful opportunity for us, as Steve has been working hard in full-time ministry for 12 years now - and I've been working hard alongside him, as I support his ministry and help raise 4 kids. The last few months, as you might have guessed from some things I've said, have been very busy for me, as I've worked during Steve's weeks off. So this will be a chance to spend restful time together.

Then it's back to everyday life, blogging (yes, I will go on with those series - I'm enjoying them too much to stop!), a Sunday School series on Hebrews, and some writing adventures that you'll share in, God willing. I'll tell you about them when the time comes.

So you know when I start blogging again, you might like to subscribe to in all honesty, either by email or online (or you can contact me and I'll let you know when I'm back). Not to increase my reading numbers :) - really, that doesn't matter - but because you'll get my next post in your inbox in a couple of months, and we can keep going where we left off.

God bless. I'll leave you with a verse that God used to encourage me recently:

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16)

Amen.

image is by zen from flickr

household management (4) finances

No budget can change your motivations and choices - only the gospel can do that! - but it can help you manage your spending. Here's some things that have helped me, and other things I haven't done very well, and wish I'd been aware of years ago. With thanks to Bec, Deb, Fiona, Valori and RodeoClown.

Keep track of your spending in a budget - but do it for a reason, not just for the sake of it. Sometimes I've found a budget to be a useful tool; at other times it's been a time-waster. Use a budget to become familiar with your spending patterns so you can plan more carefully, if money is disappearing and you can't work out where, or if it helps you tighten up your spending.

When you're paid, before you spend anything:

• give money away - if they gave 10% in the Old Testament, how much more will the fullness of God's grace motivate us now!
• pay what you owe - come up with a plan and pay back a small amount each week
• pay regular, unavoidable expenses - housing, rates, car servicing, insurance, utility bills, and so on (I like Deb's idea of putting money for bills into a separate account the instant you get paid)
• save - put some money in a separate savings account (you'll draw on this for house repairs or unexpected medical bills)

Once you've done this, set aside a certain amount for household expenses (my friend puts this into a household account at the start of each week). You'll find you have two main kinds of household expenses:

• regular expenses (grocery shopping, petrol, entertainment etc.)
• occasional expenses (gifts, clothes, household items etc.)

You might choose to include both types of expenses in your household account, which will mean some careful setting aside of money for occasional expenses; or you might take the occasional expenses (e.g. bi-yearly clothes shop or Christmas gift shopping) out of your savings so you can stay in control and see how much they're costing you. Do whichever helps you spend less.

Only use a credit card if you pay it off in full each month (we do, mostly, but it means careful spending). Even better, follow my mum's advice (from a more careful time): only spend money you have. And that's after she's put some in the savings account.

If you want to work on managing or saving money, try Simple Savings or You Need a Budget.

How do you manage your money? Share your ideas here.

I'm aware I've only scratched the surface when it comes to money and budgeting, and I'm no expert. Check out the comments here for more ideas. To read about my struggles with over-spending, see these posts.

Follow this series here.

image is by Aunty Cookie (very appropriate!) from flickr

5 books that changed who I am (1) childhood and teens - getting to know God

Nic tagged me for this meme. Lovely! But how do I cut it down to 5? As I look back over life's seasons, it seems to me that God shaped me in at least one significant way during each season, and that he used one book (or group of books) to do it.

Here they are - plus the one book that's changed me all along the way. (I'm going to cheat a little and post these one at a time, starting with childhood.)

1. childhood and teens - getting to know God
I was brought up on CS Lewis, and read his books over and over - fantasy, mythology, autobiography, Christian living, theology - but most of all, as a child, The Chronicles of Narnia. CS Lewis taught me to love and live for God, delight in creation, long for heaven, lose myself in reading and writing - and so many other things! When an idea pops into my head, a CS Lewis quote is never far away.

Runner ups: JRR Tolkien Lord of the Rings, Patricia St John Treasures of the Snow (and everything else she wrote), plus books by Isobel Kuhn, Peter Marshall, Sallie Lee Bell, and others. Writing this is reminding me to encourage my kids to read more Christian books...

What were the books that changed you as a child or teenager? Tell us here.

family catch-up: Andy

When you're the youngest,you view life from a place of protection -although we can't protect you from everything.You're surrounded by people who love you,watch over you,play with you,teach you,take you by the hand,and show you the world.It's not always easy to keep up.You're used to being the centre of attention,and, perhaps, to getting your own way.But one day, it's time to break out on your own,try new things,grow a little older,and swim in a bigger sea.We're right behind you.